Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

On an unrelated subject (though I do wash daily), I believe that life-span is related to bowel movements.

Consider...

An average dog defecates 2.5 times a day for an average of 730 bowel movements per year. They only live about 12 years on average. That's 10,950 bowel movements in a lifetime.

On the other hand, the average human defecates three time per week (156 bowel movements per year). That equals 71 years or about the average lifespan of a human.

Apply this same standard to other species. The quicker the bowel movements, the shorter the lifespan.

I believe nature allows living things about 10,000 bowel movements (give or take a few thousand either way). Only so many bowel movements in a lifespan and your time is up.

I believe with some effort, one could limit one's bowel movements to twice weekly. This would yield a lifespan of about 96 years. Reduce that to 1.9 bowel movements per week and you will get your name mentioned on Fred Willard's weather forecast.

The message is clear - eat a lot of cheese.

1 posted on 03/12/2008 7:13:27 PM PDT by SamAdams76
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies ]


To: SamAdams76

Duuuude. You put way too much thought into that. Stick with brewing beer.


2 posted on 03/12/2008 7:30:57 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Voting CONSERVATIVE in memory of 5 children killed by illegals 2/17/08 and 2/19/ 08)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: SamAdams76
If you only defecate 3 times a week then you are full of it and probably very grouchy!
3 posted on 03/12/2008 7:35:01 PM PDT by Red_Devil 232 (VietVet - USMC All Ready On The Right? All Ready On The Left? All Ready On The Firing Line!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: SamAdams76

This was a good article until I got down to the in depth analysis of defecation. It stinks in here.


4 posted on 03/12/2008 7:38:47 PM PDT by caver (Yes, I did crawl out of a hole in the ground.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: SamAdams76

I was going to comment on the article but your comment has completely knocked the thought out of my head.


5 posted on 03/12/2008 7:42:56 PM PDT by Ditter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: SamAdams76
How often do tortoises poop? They can live to around 200 years old. Some birds can live to over 100.

And eating too much cheese can lead to constipation so much that there is bleeding when 'voiding'. (Type about dirty typing.....).

6 posted on 03/12/2008 7:58:31 PM PDT by Jedi Master Pikachu ( What is your take on Acts 15:20 (abstaining from blood) about eating meat? Could you freepmail?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: SamAdams76

Never, never, never use the bathroom at an apt. or house occupied by a bunch of gay roommates.


7 posted on 03/12/2008 7:59:05 PM PDT by CalifChris
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: SamAdams76

What’s poop? Defecation?

8?)


10 posted on 03/12/2008 8:13:40 PM PDT by listenhillary (You watch, Hillary will challenge McCain for the R nomination)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: SamAdams76

Something rather important left out of this discussion.

The death rate from infectious diseases began to drop off quickly in western countries well before medicine had effective treatments, and even before the germ theory of disease was proven.

Cleanliness of person and environment became a middle class obsession in the 19th century and resulted in longer lifespan and less disease.

Cleanliness is not JUST a matter of opinion or taste. It can have significant medical/health implications.


12 posted on 03/13/2008 9:42:13 AM PDT by Sherman Logan (Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. - A. Lincoln)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: AdmSmith; Berosus; Convert from ECUSA; dervish; Ernest_at_the_Beach; Fred Nerks; george76; ...

Woman sat on toilet for two years
Herald Sun | 13 March 2008
Posted on 03/12/2008 7:47:31 PM EDT by Aussie Dasher
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1984726/posts


13 posted on 03/13/2008 11:46:44 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/______________________Profile updated Saturday, March 1, 2008)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: SamAdams76

I read that Marie Antoinette only washed the places that showed. She must have smelled like a dead rat


14 posted on 03/13/2008 12:36:12 PM PDT by SMARTY ('At some point you get tired of swatting flies, and you have to go for the manure heap' Gen. LeMay)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson