Well, okay, there are some exceptions.
Posted on 02/25/2008 8:54:04 AM PST by Bruinator
I hope I didn't screw up my first attempt at a Vanity Post.
My daughter attends a private school. She is 19 months old and has been there close to a year now. She is a bit more advanced than kids her age, yet she has remained within her age group. She was to be moved up to a new class last month. She doest use sippy cup, and she is also letting her teachers know she has to use the bathroom, but they cannot take the time away to sit her down because two teachers have to be in the class room at all times. She uses the (potty) at home but it is hit or miss with the school.
Anyway, the question I have is regarding biting. She was bitten 5 times in the last two months by the same child, and now she is exhibiting the same behavior back to this child as well at home. She tried to bite me this weekend when she didn't get something she wanted. We have made our stance known on this and if she had been moved up from the class and not have been bitten so frequently, she would not be responding in kind. My wife and I have made this point to the schools owner and director and their response was that it was an age appropriate behavior. Now, I cannot reconcile this statement, because there is nothing appropriate about it. The school is tops in all other areas and it shows with her development. They teach sign language and she not only tries to speak in complete sentences, she signs in them at the same time. She knows colors, animals, etc...
My question is this. Were we wrong in letting the school know that she is now doing this because of their lack of action regarding her development, or should we accept that it is normal behavior with respect to her age? I know some kids bite, but my two other children were not biters.
Kids, especially that age, do bite. The teacher (and school) need to make the parent of the first biting child aware of the situation. The teacher also needs to be more aggressive in re-directing (and punishing) the biting child. That’s a really difficult age to discipline. They are becoming more independent, but don’t have fully developed speech patterns yet.
Flicking her lips everytime she bites will nip that in the bud. As far as the other person, a phone call to the parent might help.
Private School? ..as in 7 days a week?
Do you mean day care?
Private school at 19 months is the earliest I’ve ever heard of and I have 5 kids including one 16 month old who will do one day Mothers Day Out next fall....maybe...if he acts like he nmight enjoy it just so he can socialize.
Wow.
No school should allow biting. Once or twice is gonna happen but repeatedly is a bad sign. She must have a conflict with this biter.
My experience with biters is not that they just walk up and bite indiscriminately, biters usually bite in response to something they don’t like or fear or in the case of 19 month olds maybe just taking their toy or not sharing.
My youngest daughter now 17 would bite in defense, then like now she was pretty tough but she only bit someone if they picked on her.
I am steadily amazed at how much things changed. I entered first grade the fall JFK was shot and only a handful of us had even been to kindergarten then.
My mother used to bite us back. It seems to have worked. I haven’t bitten anyone who didn’t want me too since I was a kid.
Just my opinion:
If the school does not support your efforts at potty training and stopping the biting, this is the wrong school. Biting is normal for some children, the usual response is to bite them back once and it usually stops. If the other child continues to bite after your daughter bit her back, and if you gave your daughter one bite back and she continues, then biting is being reinforced, not discouraged, somewhere. The common environment for the two children is the school.
Kudos for the sign language though - being able to communicate usually reduces some of the “terrible twos” tantrums and problems.
If you wish to continue teaching her sign language, the “Signing Time” series is terrific for children. (Amazon carries them, or go direct to the source at signingtime.com)
19months old? That’s a baby. Stay home with your baby, she’s too young for ‘school’.
my grandson bit a kid in daycare. when he tries to bite at home, he gets bitten back. They will leard quickly that biting hurts and will stop. It is the most effective way to stop biting. As for age, my Grandson is showing the motor skills of a 2 year old, and he is 17 months, starting sign, and trying to speak. My guess is in an older group your child will be behind, and probably gets more attention in the younger group because of being more advanced. Keep her in the younger age, deal with the biting when it occurs......
LOL!
Sounds like a nice place....”Lord of the Flies Daycare Center”
I’m honest to a fault. Sometimes too honest.
Well, okay, there are some exceptions.
That the school does nothing is unusual. My best friend just went through this with her 20 month old. He started biting in day care and the day care was the one who informed them of the problem. He has also bitten both my friend and her husband, usually when he’s trying to get their attention.
They’re still trying to break him of the behavior. They’ve tried everything people have told them. Unfortunately, with some occurences happening in day care, the punishment is inconsistent. All the day care can do is remove him from the group, usually back down to the infant room since he can’t get at the babies.
No. Child care workers need to put the safety of children first, and that means stopping biting, by any means necessary. It sounds like the place is understaffed; their inability to take children to the bathroom is a clue that they need more personnel for this age group.
or should we accept that it is normal behavior with respect to her age?
It is normal, for some people, but that doesn't make it acceptable. My youngest, who just turned two, was much more likely to bite than any of the others. Maybe it's because he got his teeth so early. I don't find "biting back" to be appropriate. However, letting out a good loud scream a few times scared the bejabbers out of him and discouraged further bites!
Whew. Sanity exists.
What...you mean that when she smiles, it's not just gas? [/s]
I kept on reading, but laughing too hard to see the words!
No, she goes 5 days a week. It is not day care, they are a school from toddlers on up through 6th grade. Its not that the school allows it, they don’t and the re-direct, but our concern was that she was slated to move up but they didn’t mover her until this week. As far as biting goes. She has tried it twice, once at home and once at the school. It was in response to the other child biting her. Her way of saying paybacks a bi#$%, i guess. Anyhow they moved her and the other childs parents were notified. We feel, had she been moved up when she was supposed to be, this would not have happened.
She was home for most of her first year, but we felt the learning environment would be a plus, and it has been relative to her growth and maturity.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.