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Tsk, tsk. When you can snatch the BCS from my hand Sharkhopper, then and only then will your wimpy boasts of ancient but limited success be more than mere "big" bloopage, perhaps meaningful to those who wear glitter on their helmets but completely irrelevant to real football teams such as those in almost every conference except the "big" 10 11.*

Any truth to the rumor that the "big" 10 is changing its name to "Penn State" and the 10 dwarfs? Just asking ...

*Heard from the depths of the Shao-Lin Temple, a role reversal*

Master: What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Pupil (sounding Georgian): Ah don't know, must be a powerful SEC faght song, ya know for thayt powrful conference of ourn.

Master: Can you hear the sound of many waters, large lake waters?

Pupil: All ah mostly hear is the sound of bingo numbers!

Master: But then, how can life be so unfair to your conference?

Pupil: Well, ah know the SEC to be the greatest conference ever, never losing to nobody. That's fayer.

Master: What are the chances of an SEC team ever beating Michigan?

Pupil: Now daym, thayt's an unfayer question! Everone knows that's only an 18% possibility! Goldurnit, Wha cayn't ah be the mayster aniway?

Master: What is the sound of the fight song you so detest?

Pupil: No, no....not thayt agin, ah cayn't stand that, it's so unfayer!

Master: The mystery of life is wafting through the airwaves on that song.

Pupil: Well hot daym mayster, you fanally revealed the truth of laf to me. Ah'll never need an early bird special agin!

*Screeching and gnashing of teeth of pupil, alias catpoopy, heard far and wide as the sound of "Hail to the Victors" wafts through the temple*

Master's afterword: 11 and 2 baby......and it's only going to get worse....