Top 10 Christmas Gifts We Don't Want

Human Events ^ | 12/18/07 | editors

[xtinct]

10. Have Your Wife Fight Your Battles for You: The John Edwards Military Strategy Handbook

9. The 2008 National Organization of Women Swimsuit Calendar

8. “Hillary Clinton’s Dramatic Readings of the 10 Greatest Speeches in American History” Two-Disc Set

7. The Dennis Kucinich Unidentified Frying Object Vegetarian Hibachi Grill

6. A Home Visit by the Ron Paul Blimp

5. The Collected Works of Neil Kinnock edited by Joe Biden

4. Anything That Contains the Words “Universal” and “Comprehensive” or That Claims to be “For the Children”

3. Five Hundred Shares of New York Times Common Stock

2. Free Membership in the National Education Association

1. A Teddy Bear Named Muhammad

[Always Right]

A teddy bear named Muhammad is on my wish list.

[Jaysun]

I'll tell you what I DO want. I want a pair of those tater mitts. Have you seen those things? They peel the potatoes like magic. You could show off to your friends. They'd be like, "Man, you're not going to peel 9 potatoes in under a minute. It's impossible." Then you can be like, "Whaaaaa!" when you pull out your gloves and send those peels a flyin.

[G8 Diplomat]

I want a DOG named Muhammad. Or maybe a pig.

[G8 Diplomat]

Top 10 Christmas Gifts We Don't Want

In this case, it should refer to the German word Gift, which means poison.

[doc1019]

I already have a toilet affectionately known as Mohammad … don’t want to be hoggish, so to speak. ;-)

[cowboyway]

10. Have Your Wife Fight Your Battles for You: The John Edwards Military Strategy Handbook

11. Have Your Husband Fight Your Battles For You: The Hillary Clinton Campaign Strategy Handbook.

[red-dawg]

These look like they'd come in real handy.

[oyez]

[Grizzled Bear]

But wait, there’s more!

[Ditter]

I want #7 the Kucinich habachi grill and Mr.Ditter went straight for # 1, the teddy bear.

Thanks for posting!

[Ditter]

We eat the potato peels! Is that so wrong?

[MrEdd]

that’s terrible

[Onelifetogive]

How about a Fred Thompson Alarm Clock with Automatic Snooze Function?

[Theresawithanh]

Or a Huckabee magic floating cross? Or a Romney box of heavy-duty Kleenex when you just feel like you’re gonna get emotional? Or a Ron Paul donation box bank? Or the book by Rudy G. “How I Saved NY and the World on 9-11-01”?

Ooooh, I like this sarcasm stuff, it’s fun!!!!

[Turret Gunner A20]

I want a DOG named Muhammad. Or maybe a pig.

How about a skunk? Or a roll of right-handed toiolet paper?

[Onelifetogive]

Or a Huckabee magic floating cross? Or a Romney box of heavy-duty Kleenex when you just feel like you’re gonna get emotional? Or a Ron Paul donation box bank? Or the book by Rudy G. “How I Saved NY and the World on 9-11-01”?

Or a Duncan Hunter...??? Has anyone ever heard anything interesting about him?

[Onelifetogive]

Ooooh, I like this sarcasm stuff, it’s fun!!!!

Sorry I picked only on your guy. Yours were funny...

[Onelifetogive]

How about a Pre-assembled George W Bush Bunker?

[Jaysun]

We eat the potato peels! Is that so wrong?

It's wrong if you're a tater glove enthusiast like myself. But to each his own. Maybe you could use them to peel carrots, cucumbers, eggs, or sand down furniture.

Come on man, these gloves are quickly changing the world - for the better.