Posted on 12/17/2007 5:46:11 AM PST by billorites
Contrary to the rumors I have been trying to spread for some time, Disney Princess products are not contaminated with lead. More careful analysis shows that the entire product line--books, DVDs, ball gowns, necklaces, toy cell phones, toothbrush holders, T-shirts, lunch boxes, backpacks, wallpaper, sheets, stickers etc.--is saturated with a particularly potent time-release form of the date rape drug.
We cannot blame China this time, because the drug is in the concept, which was spawned in the Disney studios. Before 2000, the Princesses were just the separate, disunited, heroines of Disney animated films-- Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel, Aurora, Pocahontas, Jasmine, Belle, and Mulan. Then Disney's Andy Mooney got the idea of bringing the gals together in a team. With a wave of the wand ($10.99 at Target, tiara included) they were all elevated to royal status and set loose on the world as an imperial cabal, and have since have busied themselves achieving global domination. Today, there is no little girl in the wired, industrial world who does not seek to display her allegiance to the pink- and-purple clad Disney dynasty.
Disney likes to think of the Princesses as role models, but what a sorry bunch of wusses they are. Typically, they spend much of their time in captivity or a coma, waking up only when a Prince comes along and kisses them. The most striking exception is Mulan, who dresses as a boy to fight in the army, but--like the other Princess of color, Pocahontas--she lacks full Princess status and does not warrant a line of tiaras and gowns. Otherwise the Princesses have no ambitions and no marketable skills, although both Snow White and Cinderella are good at housecleaning.
And what could they aspire to, beyond landing a Prince? In Princessland, the only career ladder leads from baby-faced adolescence to a position as an evil enchantress, stepmother or witch. Snow White's wicked stepmother is consumed with envy for her stepdaughter's beauty; the sea witch Ursula covets Ariel's lovely voice; Cinderella's stepmother exploits the girl's cheap, uncomplaining, labor. No need for complicated witch-hunting techniques--pin-prickings and dunkings--in Princessland. All you have to look for is wrinkles.
Feminist parents gnash their teeth. For this their little girls gave up Dora, who bounds through the jungle saving baby jaguars, whose mother is an archeologist and whose adventures don't involve smoochy rescues by Diego? There was drama in Dora's life too, and the occasional bad actor like Swiper the fox. Even Barbie looks like a suffragette compared to Disney's Belle. So what's the appeal of the pink tulle Princess cult?
Seen from the witchy end of the female life cycle, the Princesses exert their pull through a dark and undeniable eroticism. They're sexy little wenches, for one thing. Snow White has gotten slimmer and bustier over the years; Ariel wears nothing but a bikini top (though, admittedly, she is half fish.) In faithful imitation, the 3-year-old in my life flounces around with her tiara askew and her Princess gown sliding off her shoulder, looking for all the world like a London socialite after a hard night of cocaine and booze. Then she demands a poison apple and falls to the floor in a beautiful swoon. Pass the Rohypnol-laced margarita, please.
It may be old-fashioned to say so, but sex--and especially some middle-aged man's twisted version thereof--doesn't belong in the pre-K playroom. Children are going to discover it soon enough, but they're got to do so on their own.
There's a reason, after all, why we're generally more disgusted by sexual abusers than adults who inflict mere violence on children: we sense that sexual abuse more deeply messes with a child's mind. One's sexual inclinations--straightforward or kinky, active or passive, heterosexual or homosexual--should be free to develop without adult intervention or manipulation. Hence our harshness toward the kind of sexual predators who leer at kids and offer candy. But Disney, which also owns ABC, Lifetime, ESPN, A&E and Miramax, is rewarded with $4 billion a year for marketing the masochistic Princess cult and its endlessly proliferating paraphernalia.
Let's face it, no parent can stand up against this alone. Try to ban the Princesses from your home, and you might as well turn yourself in to Child Protective Services before the little girls get on their Princess cell phones. No, the only way to topple royalty is through a mass uprising of the long-suffering serfs. Assemble with your neighbors and make a holiday bonfire out of all that plastic and tulle! March on Disney World with pitchforks held high!
That’s it!
Thanks!
BTW, Sleeping Beauty she calls "Seeping Boo-ee"
Awwwww!
She already is. I saw Giselle dolls during recent visits to both Toys R Us and the Disney Store.
I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who is nuts about the princesses. She was Aurora this past Halloween and was Cinderella last year. Her room is totally done up in princess regalia, from the four poster princess bed with princess bedding and canopy suspended from the ceiling to the princess wall decorations, curtains, lamp, neon clock, toy chest, vanity, etc., etc., etc. She has (we have) all of the princess animated feature DVDs and their sequels. She has more princess books than I can count.
Although my wife ostensibly encouraged this at the beginning, a lot of this has to do with the inescapable fact that my daughter is what one would call a girly-girl.
My concern is: what are we going to do with all of this stuff when she "grows out" of this (in a year? two? three?).
As far as role models go, I should mention that Belle is more of a modern heroine who does A LOT of reading. If this is the only lesson my daughter picks up from her time in Disney Princess land, all of this will be well worth it.
Thanks,
I’m extremely, extremely, extremely biased. :)
E-bay.
Sorry, I thought this was another Disney Gay-Day announcement.
Have several more daughters.
Alternatively, have a sale!
Is that “Belle” in the bottom picture, in daffodil yellow? What a beautiful young lady.
It looks like your niece had a great time.
It’s Belle in the first and last picture (two different women). The first Belle was at a book reading/story telling thing for the kids.
All the women playing these roles at Disney are gorgeous and almost exact look alikes to their characters-— it’s spooky (Granted, their their hair and costumes are very cartoony).
I think what had my SIL and brother in near tears was how truly kind they were to my niece and each child. It wasn’t like mugging for a photo op. They really seemed to enjoy what they were doing.... and actually took time, talked, hugged, even kissed the kids.
As you can tell, my niece was absolutely enthralled!!
Goodwill-— there are 1000’s of other little princesses in the world.
Did you niece question why there were two different Belles? :-)
They say she didn’t even notice. She saw them at two different times of day....maybe that’s the trick :)
I think my favorites are those where the girls (women) use their brains and sometimes save the guy. I do think it’s a bad message to always have the damsel in distress who’s always being rescued. To me, its good thing to teach girls that they can be heros too (think Assam in Colorado).
Shooting, brains, wit....whatever it takes to get out of a bad situation. Nothing annoys me more than the TSTL chick in a movie or book (Too Stupid To Live).
Dang straight.
I have taught my two girls that attempting to physically fight a man by opposing his strength is generally doomed to failure, regardless of the idiocy on TV and in the movies.
A female needs lots of luck, greatly superior skill, greater sneakiness, or superior firepower to prevail in a fight with a male. Of these, superior firepower is much the easiest to come by. :)
There’s a reason they called the Colt revolver “the Equalizer.”
What I have never understood is that most “feminists” are death on firearms. They want to get rid of them all, which if the policy were successful just puts us back to a stage where the strongest or meanest person always wins the fight.
That is almost never the female.
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