Posted on 12/17/2007 5:46:11 AM PST by billorites
Contrary to the rumors I have been trying to spread for some time, Disney Princess products are not contaminated with lead. More careful analysis shows that the entire product line--books, DVDs, ball gowns, necklaces, toy cell phones, toothbrush holders, T-shirts, lunch boxes, backpacks, wallpaper, sheets, stickers etc.--is saturated with a particularly potent time-release form of the date rape drug.
We cannot blame China this time, because the drug is in the concept, which was spawned in the Disney studios. Before 2000, the Princesses were just the separate, disunited, heroines of Disney animated films-- Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel, Aurora, Pocahontas, Jasmine, Belle, and Mulan. Then Disney's Andy Mooney got the idea of bringing the gals together in a team. With a wave of the wand ($10.99 at Target, tiara included) they were all elevated to royal status and set loose on the world as an imperial cabal, and have since have busied themselves achieving global domination. Today, there is no little girl in the wired, industrial world who does not seek to display her allegiance to the pink- and-purple clad Disney dynasty.
Disney likes to think of the Princesses as role models, but what a sorry bunch of wusses they are. Typically, they spend much of their time in captivity or a coma, waking up only when a Prince comes along and kisses them. The most striking exception is Mulan, who dresses as a boy to fight in the army, but--like the other Princess of color, Pocahontas--she lacks full Princess status and does not warrant a line of tiaras and gowns. Otherwise the Princesses have no ambitions and no marketable skills, although both Snow White and Cinderella are good at housecleaning.
And what could they aspire to, beyond landing a Prince? In Princessland, the only career ladder leads from baby-faced adolescence to a position as an evil enchantress, stepmother or witch. Snow White's wicked stepmother is consumed with envy for her stepdaughter's beauty; the sea witch Ursula covets Ariel's lovely voice; Cinderella's stepmother exploits the girl's cheap, uncomplaining, labor. No need for complicated witch-hunting techniques--pin-prickings and dunkings--in Princessland. All you have to look for is wrinkles.
Feminist parents gnash their teeth. For this their little girls gave up Dora, who bounds through the jungle saving baby jaguars, whose mother is an archeologist and whose adventures don't involve smoochy rescues by Diego? There was drama in Dora's life too, and the occasional bad actor like Swiper the fox. Even Barbie looks like a suffragette compared to Disney's Belle. So what's the appeal of the pink tulle Princess cult?
Seen from the witchy end of the female life cycle, the Princesses exert their pull through a dark and undeniable eroticism. They're sexy little wenches, for one thing. Snow White has gotten slimmer and bustier over the years; Ariel wears nothing but a bikini top (though, admittedly, she is half fish.) In faithful imitation, the 3-year-old in my life flounces around with her tiara askew and her Princess gown sliding off her shoulder, looking for all the world like a London socialite after a hard night of cocaine and booze. Then she demands a poison apple and falls to the floor in a beautiful swoon. Pass the Rohypnol-laced margarita, please.
It may be old-fashioned to say so, but sex--and especially some middle-aged man's twisted version thereof--doesn't belong in the pre-K playroom. Children are going to discover it soon enough, but they're got to do so on their own.
There's a reason, after all, why we're generally more disgusted by sexual abusers than adults who inflict mere violence on children: we sense that sexual abuse more deeply messes with a child's mind. One's sexual inclinations--straightforward or kinky, active or passive, heterosexual or homosexual--should be free to develop without adult intervention or manipulation. Hence our harshness toward the kind of sexual predators who leer at kids and offer candy. But Disney, which also owns ABC, Lifetime, ESPN, A&E and Miramax, is rewarded with $4 billion a year for marketing the masochistic Princess cult and its endlessly proliferating paraphernalia.
Let's face it, no parent can stand up against this alone. Try to ban the Princesses from your home, and you might as well turn yourself in to Child Protective Services before the little girls get on their Princess cell phones. No, the only way to topple royalty is through a mass uprising of the long-suffering serfs. Assemble with your neighbors and make a holiday bonfire out of all that plastic and tulle! March on Disney World with pitchforks held high!
Very funny and satirical (in a misanthropic way) animated show. Pulled by Nickelodeon after 2 seasons, now a cult classic. Wikipedia entry: Invader Zim.
And I think all the Disney Princesses are beautiful more because of they way they treat those around them......Cinderella was kind to all the critters and even tried to be nice to her rotten Stepmother and sisters.
Snow White took care of the Dwarfs and was happy to live with them (what an innocent frame of mind!) Belle was good and brave to go live with the beast and in turn, was kind even to the ‘monster’.
Ariel (Help me here, I forget) Nice to fish?
Anyhow, all the stories aren’t about them being princesses, its about them being good people.
In the recent Disney movie Enchanted the princess saves the hero, even swinging a sword. I'm sure she'll wind up as part of this lineup eventually.
Only if the girl lives in a vacuum, with no other influences. If she has a family and friends, goes to church and school, competes in sports or learns to play an instrument, the chances are she'll have get idea that life has ups and downs, and achievements usually require effort, before she reaches adulthood.
The real risk of producing children with unrealistic expectations arises when adults insulate children from the realities of life: ban games or contests because everyone can't win at everything; fight about grades, instead of letting children get the marks their work deserves; argue with coaches or umpires, instead of letting children learn that sometimes life is (or just seems) unfair, and so on.
As long as she knows she’s loved and valued by her family and they’ll be there for her, then she can handle reality just fine.
Again, if you look at these stories, awful things happen! I mean- death of a parent, poison, rotten step parents, being throw out of your home, being sent to live with strangers, a monster at that!
Even in the face of all this bad stuff, the princesses don’t loose their core values. (and we ALL want a happily ever after— even at 50)
In due time, naj.
Is this a vanity? < /Tom Wolfe >
In Poccahontas, it was an evil fat white man.
Somehow I doubt that the author is for teaching "abstinence only" or has EVER questioned the politics of "sex positive" education (the free love experiment).
Or what, she might be a wicked witch?
And she's p*ssed because she can't find the ones that get her stoned.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the Disney Princesses. With all the negative things in the world, they are something postive and decent litle girls can play with.
I can see how people might not like the Bratz dolls. There was a black man shopping in Toys R Us, and as he walked by the Bratz dolls he said, “Oh, they make whore dolls for little girls now.” He then shook his head and walked away. I don’t see a problem with them, as they are just dolls, but I can see how people do.
I believe Elizabeth Swan and Hermione Granger are much better role models.
We have those, too. Being a good student is always appropriate, of course, but the whole undead pirate thing is a bit far out, even for me. (That said, they’re watching the third “Pirates” movie right now! Chow Yun-fat is my favorite.)
Some people just take themselves much too seriously.
Mostly liberals.
Yep, mostly liberals(and some on here, too). Some people are just too political correct for their own good.
My sides ached when I read how the 5-6 year olds, dressed as Princesses, complete with tiaras, took turns beating the 5 foot tall Pinata Princess. The big princess was too tough for them to take “one on one.” The mother of the birthday girl laid the pinata on the ground and had all the little princesses hit and kick her. They were still unsuccessful.
Finally the 13 year old brother was brought in. He straddled the pinata and drove the stick into it’s “face.” Once the shell was breached all of the little Princesses began tearing the pinata open to get at the loot.
It was a really disturbing read, but I couldn’t stop laughing!
(Physically that is, not emotionally.)
Cheers!
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