Posted on 12/14/2007 7:20:53 AM PST by Lucky9teen
....or not
Teddy Books are very "In" this year.
We're in the office working by generators, candles and flashlights, but we're working!
Open the Barn Door???
Is that for for real?
LOLOLOL
If it is indeed Bubba’s book, then let me guess....
The poor cow is bent.
LOLOLOLOlololol
Have you ever heard that a dog "knows" when an earthquake is about to hit?
Have you ever heard that a dog can "sense" when a tornado is stirring up, even twenty miles away?
Do you remember hearing that, before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia, dogs started running frantically away from the seashore, at breakneck speed?
I'm a firm believer that animals - and especially dogs have keen insights into the Truth.
And you can't tell me that dogs can't sense a potentially terrible disaster well in advance.
Simply said, a dog just KNOWS when something isn't right.....when impending doom is upon us . .
Mastercard Wedding
You got to love this guy. This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.
He especially wanted to thank the bride’s and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him.
So taped to the bottom of everyone’s chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having s~ex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.
After just standing there, just watching the guests’ reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, “—— you!” Then he turned to his bride and said, “—— you!” Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, “I’m outta here.”
He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.
His revenge—making the bride’s parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride’s and best man’s reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells.
Do you think we might get a Master Card “priceless” commercial out of this?
Elegant! wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui: $8,500.
The look on everyone’s face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless
There are some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s MASTERCARD!
Got your stand-by tee-squares & triangles out of moth balls???...LOL!
Check out the Global Warming Nazis response to this book.
Carols for the Mentally Disturbed
1. Schizophrenia -— Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder -— We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia -— I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic -— Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic -— Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
6. Paranoid -— Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder -— Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder -— You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder -— Silent night, Holy oooh look at the froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -— Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell s, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...
ROFLMAO!!! That did it!
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