College Scholarships... "Personal Attributes"? (vanity)

FastWeb ^ | November 19, 2007 | Sopater

[Sopater]

I was filling out a form to register my son for consideration for academic scholarships to college. I was amazed to see what this website considers "personal attributes".

Student's personal attributes
Select up to 5 items.

• Adopted
• Against the Death Penalty
• Bilingual
• Birth mother who has placed a child for adoption
• Bisexual
• Canadian Citizen
• Cancer, Siblings Diagnosed With
• Cathedral Home for Children, Former Resident
• Clinically Overweight
• Displaced Homemaker
• Domestic Abuse, Victim/Survivor of
• Drug Conviction (Misdemeanor or Felony)
• Farm, Raised On
• Feminist
• Foster Care Recipient
• From Small Town <25,000 Population
• Gay / Lesbian
• Head Of Household
• Height: Women, 5'10" or above; Men 6'2" or above
• Last Name Van Valkenburg
• Mobile Home Park Resident
• Orphan (Parentless)
• Parent
• Parent of Multiples (Twins, Triplets, etc.)
• Parent, Student With Dependent Child(ren)
• Political Party: Democrat
• Political Party: Republican
• Public Assistance Recipient
• Public Housing Resident
• Reservation, Resident of
• Residence Hall Resident (Dormitory)
• September 11, Affected By Tragedy
• Single Parent
• Spanish Speaking
• Student, One of Multiples (Twins, Triplets, etc.)
• Survivor of Domestic Violence
• Transgender
• Vegetarian

(emphasis added)

[Sopater]

These are "personal attributes" for students looking for academic scholarships? Give me a break.

[SIDENET]

Last Name Van Valkenburg

???

[mtbopfuyn]

Quick, run out and change your kid’s last name to Van Valkenburg! I do hope you’ve already marked that school off his list.

BTW, what school is it?

[pillut48]

Is this for real? Or is it from The Onion or Scrappleface or something???

[mtbopfuyn]

Oh, no! I didn’t notice it was that site we’re going to have to visit soon..... Egads, what should someone put???

[Sopater]

This is for real. I went to “http://www.fastweb.com/"; to get a list of scholarships...

[Sopater]

Oh, no! I didn’t notice it was that site we’re going to have to visit soon..... Egads, what should someone put???

What do you mean?

[JenB]

Um, individuals and groups often sponsor scholarships for students matching their interests. So some national gay/lesbian society sponsors a scholarship, or a group wants to help survivors of September 11th. These are almost certainly not government scholarships and as such are protected by our constitutional rights to free assembly.

No big deal. Don’t panic.

[pillut48]

Crazy. Just crazy!!! :-O
Wish there was a complaint number or email. Most of these
designations are simply disgusting, no 2 ways around it! >:-(

Please tell me your child will look for scholarships elsewhere?

[Sloth]

Well, people are free to offer scholarships with whatever goofy criteria they want. You could offer one with an essay contest on why the death penalty is a good thing, for example.

[L,TOWM]

If its for SCHOLARSHIPS, I don’t see the big deal. There are plenty of off-the-wall endowments and scholarship funds out there.

Now, if they are wanting this information on an admissions form for a state college, well, OK — set your phaser for outrage. Interesting all of the “victim” categories they have listed...

[PapaBear3625]

I may choose to use my money to endow a scholarship for left-handed redheads. There are lots of oddball scholarships set up by individuals and groups. Now, whether a college would promote people knowing about a scholarship for conservative Christians is another story

[pillut48]

For a COLLEGE scholarship?? The birthplace of liberals, run by liberals?

It’d hardly make it out of the envelope before being dumped in the trash.

[Sopater]

How come there aren't options for scholarships for Christian conservative students on that list? Do you have to be a left-wing wacko, socially irresponsible, or a victim/perpetrator of crime to be eligible for most scholarships? From the looks of this list, I don't think I want my child associating with college students. At least not any that are on a scholarship.

[ClearCase_guy]

I would declare myself to be a Gay Democrat and a survivor of Domestic Violence.

I bet there's a scholarship in there for me. And I dare anyone to prove that I'm not a gay Democrat and that my cousin didn't slap me. I'd be happy to write an essay, or sob on your shoulder about it in great detail, if your money is green.

[Sopater]

I may choose to use my money to endow a scholarship for left-handed redheads.

Although my son would not qualify for this scholarship, I would not be concerned about sending him to a college with other receipients of this award. He might even be able to meet his future wife at such a school.

[Gingersnap]

Private groups and some individuals create academic scholarships for special interest groups. They may be tied to religion, ethnicity, fraternal organizations, hobbies, regional ties, or whatever.

Part of my college education was paid for by scholarships for girls of Swedish-descent, girls in 4-H, and kids whose relatives were Elks (the brotherhood, not the animal)!

This is no big deal.

[underground]

Hey I work with scholarships all day at a free college scholarship search engine and I have seen all the weird ones you can imagine. There's some for vegetarian promoters and atheist activists, or there are some for Veterans, children of veterans, or Christians of all types and commitments (I see a lot of seminary & missions-work scholarships). The best is probably the one that is only open to Jewish-American orphans who are studying Ancient Hebrew at a certain college. I also heard about a bagpipe scholarship that ended up paying a full-ride to an Ivy League school - yet no one had applied for it in 20 years (probably due to the underwhelming job market for bagpipe players)

Of course, the scholarship search engine is just a database of someone else's charitable funding. So you can't blame Fastweb or ScholarshipExperts or Scholarships.com or whatever, they're asking these questions up front to filter out the results only to the awards your student is eligible for. Best bet is to be fully honest, yet thorough, because you can't win something that is targeted at some other group and the charities are not limited to any sort of non-discrimination. If you want to give your own money away, you can give it to anyone you like!

[Sopater]

Thanks underground. I was going to register with “scholarshipexperts” as well. Do you have any other recommendations for finding easy college money just lying around for the taking?

[underground]

Start early, apply often, and focus on awards that have the most restrictive eligibility. There might be a lot of national programs that have short 250 word essays but you could be up against 100,000 other competitors. I think its more cost-effective to put together a really good application with letters of recommendation, official transcripts/test scores, and maybe even financial records for local, club, and major-specific awards from professional organizations. Some of these will take a long time to apply for but the competition is thinner. The parents’ employers can often be a good source of potential funding too.

And always check out the state grant programs! Most states have literally millions in annual college funding available. Florida’s state programs, a student government scholarship, and generally low public university rates brought my personal tuition bill down to about $1,800 a year including books and fees. Every little bit counts!