When pet owners merge households, the fur can fly

They didn't realize how bad things were until Christi McDowell found herself in the emergency room with a bloody hand.

Before they were married, Christi and Michael McDowell of Fort Worth each had a rescue dog: Christi, a chaplain at Harris Methodist Fort Worth Hospital, had Sierra; Michael, a controller at Burnett Oil, had Mildred. The dogs were both roughly 2 when Michael and Christi started dating. They would shuttle back and forth to each other's houses, dogs in tow, and all was generally harmonious.

Then Christi and Sierra moved into Michael's house, launching a soap opera peppered with canines, humans, overprotective snarling and isolation.

When couples or roommates move in together, and both people bring pets into the household, the transition can be very bumpy. Many times it means bared teeth, snarling, lunging and enraged barking. And every now and then it has the capacity to draw blood.

Anytime you introduce new pets into an established household, there's potential for chaos -- just ask Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi. When their new rescue dog didn't get along with the family cat, they gave it to the family of DeGeneres' hairstylist, which ended up creating a very public, four-legged nightmare.

When trying to get everyone to co-exist, remember that some animals react strongly to major changes in their lives, says Audra Houghton, a professional dog trainer who has also dealt with these issues personally, as a dog owner. "Some dogs who were previously housetrained may begin to have accidents in the house," Houghton says. "Some may chew things, and some may become aggressive."

And if you realize that friction might accompany a move, be prepared to do something about it, says Stacy Hiebert, a canine behavior therapist with Adventures in Canine Training, which operates in several North Texas cities.

"My biggest thing that I've heard old-school trainers or vets talk about is the theory that [dogs] will 'work it out,'" Hiebert says. "Never, ever do that. [Meeting and introductions] should always be slow, and if you don't feel comfortable doing it, you need to call a professional who knows what they're doing. Don't just let dogs duke it out."

But what should you do when your new husband's Rottweiler wants to have your bichon frise for an amuse bouche? Or when your girlfriend's terrier starts eating the door frame in the guest bedroom? Here's how three local families have managed to bring together their animals -- with varying degrees of success.

The problems: One night last year, Michael and Christi were watching TV, with the dogs both lying on the floor. Mildred -- previously known as Michael's dog -- got up and started making her way over to Christi. Sierra jumped up suddenly, bared her teeth and went berserk on Mildred, prompting a full-on dogfight. Thinking it was a fluke, the couple decided to ride it out. But not long afterward, it happened again. The dogs were both happy as larks in the back yard, until Christi walked out. Sierra became territorial over Christi, and the fight was on. Christi went to break it up, but got her hand in the middle of gnashing teeth. She was bitten, and it was off to the ER.

Curiously, the dogs never had a problem when the two of them were alone together. On any given day, they frolic in the back yard like best friends. And Sierra and Mildred never have a problem when they're with just Michael. The common denominator is Christi: Every time Christi's in the presence of both dogs, Sierra casts herself as Christi's protector and treats Mildred as a menace. "If Sierra thought Christi was being threatened," Michael says, "she would go to the ends of the Earth to protect her."

What they've tried: Three different dog behaviorists, including one who charged $250 for an hour, and, according to Christi, "gave me a laundry list of all the things I do wrong." Michael says one behaviorist worked with them a bit, which spurred some progress.

"But we're still not where we need to be, as far as having both of them totally relaxed," Michael says. "[The behaviorist's] solution was instead of trying to make them become best friends, try to teach them to ignore each other." Meanwhile, Christi is working on trying to assert herself as more of a pack leader, to plug them back into their basic instinct of the pack mentality.

However, it's sometimes easier said than done -- especially for Christi, Michael says. "My wife's such a sweetheart she has a hard time not just coming home from work and just loving on them, and it's a big stress reliever for her, too. She doesn't want to have to come home and be the boss of dogs."

How they live now: Christi can't be alone with both dogs in the same room. A recent photo shoot told the story: Sierra was placed in her dog crate in the living room. Things were copacetic ... until Mildred entered the room. Then Sierra went ballistic, snarling and barking as if an ax murderer -- or the mailman -- had burst into the house. This provoked Mildred to bark back. Later, with Sierra still barking angrily in her cage, Mildred lay on her back, contentedly being stroked by Michael. Michael remarked: "And this is an improvement."

So now, whenever Christi's home, the dogs are rotated in and out of their crates. While Christi and Michael watch TV in the living room, one dog hangs out with them, while the other chills in her crate. Later, they're switched. The couple realizes it's not an ideal solution, but, says Christi, "we deal with it."

Outlook: "I think eventually we'll get past it," Michael says. Meanwhile, they're looking into a fourth behaviorist, one who works with you for the lifetime of your dog. On down the road, Christi worries: "The real fear is what would happen if we have kids. I don't think I could deal with the way things are now, with kids."

Pets: Angus (English bulldog), Marlo (Great Dane), Tyson (boxer), Wee Dog (Chihuahua mix) and Bill the lovebird

The problems: Dog lover Andy Thomas had good fortune; he fell in love with a professional dog trainer. His girlfriend, Audra Houghton, has been training dogs professionally for six years, after completing a 120-hour course through PetSmart; she's also earned certifications as a K9 handler through the National Narcotics Detector Dog Association.

When Andy moved in to Audra's house in Dallas a few months ago, he brought Angus, who is a sweetheart with humans but slightly aggressive toward other dogs. And Audra has a bird and three dogs of her own, plus a few she fosters -- and that's not counting the dogs she occasionally trains and boards as part of her business.

In their living room on a recent October afternoon, there were just four, plus the lovebird in his cage. Angus snorted his way around the room, overturning a coffee table. And as Tyson stood on his hind legs and pawed visitors, Wee Dog tore around like a tiny dervish. All the while, Marlo happily wagged her mile-long tail, giving a hearty lashing to unsuspecting thighs, faces, and fire pokers.

When Andy and Angus moved in, the couple wanted to make sure they could trust Angus with the other dogs -- notably Wee Dog, who is, well, wee. "And when Wee Dog runs, he looks like a rabbit sometimes." Which no doubt looks just scrumptious to Mr. Angus. But Angus has also been known to snap at Marlo, who, despite the fact that she's as big as a pony, is still pretty much all gangly puppy, at a year and a half. Marlo wants to play; Angus does not.

One other issue needed work: the relationship between Marlo and Bill the lovebird. "She's so big she could easily knock that cage over," Audra says.

What they've tried: With Audra's training, the couple say it really didn't take Angus long to calm down considerably. As the McDowells are learning with their brood, the humans must assert themselves as the pack leaders. As for what happens with the rest of the pack status, Audra says it's best to let the dogs establish their own pecking order. It's tempting, she says, to label a dog "dominant," "submissive" or "alpha," but she says those aren't really labels so much as descriptions of behavior that's occurring at a specific point in time. "The small ones can be in charge," Audra says.

Another important element was making sure each dog had its own space. Angus usually stays in the kitchen with the baby gates up, or in the living room. Marlo sleeps in her crate, and Wee Dog and Tyson stay loose in the house.

Audra has also used a technique respected among trainers that's called the "Nothing in Life for Free" method. How it works: Whenever you're rewarding your dog with anything -- a treat, a scratch behind the ears, a walk, affection in general -- make the dog work for it by giving him or her a command, such as "Sit."

"Your dog needs to have a job," Audra says. "Setting guidelines and rules can really help to mentally stimulate them. It causes them to need to think instead of just reacting."

How they live now: There's a relative -- albeit cacophonous -- harmony in the house now, with pets mostly knowing their place in the pack. There are a few issues to work out with Angus, who can still tense up around other dogs. Meanwhile, Marlo and Bill have established a bit of a Tracy-Hepburn-like rapport. When Marlo presses her face up against Bill's birdcage, Bill occasionally bites her on the nose.

Audra notes that the dogs weren't the only ones who had to adjust to the move: Andy has had to learn to sleep with the noise of so many animals in one house -- licking, scratching, snoring, lip-smacking, nails click-clacking across the hardwood floors in the middle of the night. The solution: sleeping with fans on to drown out all the animal noises.

Outlook: The couple are betting that one big life change in December will help everyone: They're moving to San Antonio, into a place that'll be new to everyone. That means all the dogs will be on neutral territory, which is generally easier on blended-pet families, Audra says. One thing is certain, she adds: "Our dogs are very important to us, so getting rid of any of them is not an option."

The problems: Bart is spotted like a Holstein. He's 14 but sprightly, and a true gentleman. While two other pets -- and the rest of the Motleys -- live indoors, Bart makes his home on seven-tenths of an acre in the back yard. His bed is a cushy porch chair. When his alpha-dog stepsister comes outside each morning for her morning constitutional, Bart awakes and stands on his chair on all fours, watching little Anny cautiously. What kind of mood will she be in? Will she give him a kiss on the nose, or a nip on the neck?

This is a common morning musing at the Motley home. David and Linda were married in 2004 and moved into their Fort Worth house together. David, president of Colonial Mortgage, brought two sons and Bart. Linda, who owns P.S. the Letter, a gift shop on Camp Bowie Boulevard, brought a son, a daughter, and Anny and Alley.

"There was a little bit of tension," David recalls. They wondered if there would be a struggle for alpha-dog status, because, he says, "Anny fears nothing. She would go up and nip on Bart's neck if he was getting too much attention."

Linda's 12-year-old son, Bobby, says Anny has even been known to snag food out of Bart's mouth. "But Bart doesn't do anything," Bobby says. "Even though he could own her in a fight."

Bart wasn't always an outside dog. As a puppy, Bart lived indoors -- until the day he chewed up David's kitchen cabinets. Also, Bart sheds pretty badly. "I'm a clean freak," David says, "and I just couldn't stand it."

Bart never comes in the house now, unless Linda's daughter, Natalie, 17, lures him in. But he never goes very far or stays very long.

"Bart and Alley would never get along," Linda says, referring to her 10-year-old cat.

For some, the idea of an outside dog is inconceivable. When they first moved in together, David and Linda discussed keeping Bart indoors but decided against it. "I think at his age," Linda says, "it would just throw him."

Plus, David thinks Bart's outdoor lifestyle is what's kept him so young all these years. "He's outside with lots of exercise and no table scraps," David says.

Aside from the indoor-outdoor issue, the Motleys did have to work through a few other issues. David wasn't crazy about the idea of a dog sleeping on the bed. Three guesses as to where Anny liked to sleep.

"Linda said: 'I think you're probably wasting your time,'" David recalled. Before bed that night, David placed Anny in her new bed. Within seconds, she had scampered up onto their bed.

As for the cat, there aren't many issues, but there was an interesting personality change after the Motleys moved into the new house. "You'd never see the cat before," David says. "It was like she was invisible. But a year after we got married, she came out of her shell. Now, sometimes Anny will see the cat and just go for her. Other times, they sit in chairs on either side of the fireplace, like an old couple."

What they've tried: They haven't gone the training route but have followed a path of acceptance, strategic placement, and compromise.

How they live now: Bart has happily accepted his role as head of outside security, and Anny continues her reign indoors. And with regard to Anny's sleeping habits, they've struck a compromise. Anny starts off the night on a towel at the foot of the bed. "But sometimes she does migrate her way up," Linda says.

Outlook: As long as Bart can stay an outside dog, the current arrangement should keep everyone happy. "Anny considers herself to be the princess," David says. "And Bart's just a servant."

We consulted several animal behaviorists and trainers for their tips on how to successfully blend pet families. Our experts were Bonnie Beaver, professor at the Texas A&M College of Veterinary Medicine; Stacy Hiebert, canine behavior therapist, Adventures in Canine Training; and Audra Houghton, dog trainer, owner of K9 Mediation.

Work slowly and cautiously. Even if they're mild-tempered in their own homes, don't assume that pets will get along.

Some animals react strongly to major life changes. Some pets who were previously housetrained may begin to have accidents in the house, some may start chewing things they shouldn't, and some may exhibit signs of aggression.

Stay consistent. Lay down the rules and stick with them -- don't vary; it only confuses the dog.

If you sense in advance that there will be a problem getting pets together, seek the guidance of an animal behaviorist; if you're not sure where to find one, check with your veterinarian.

If possible, dogs should meet first on neutral territory, such as a park -- several times, not just once. If that's not possible, then sometimes it helps to have a baby gate or two dogs in a crate so they can sniff each other out and not necessarily interact.

The sniff test. "People never know how to get two dogs to meet," Hiebert says. "They always let them sniff each other face to face. If the dogs don't do it naturally, then you should forcefully make them sniff each other's butt." Hiebert says that if she has a new dog visiting her home, she has the new dog stand "and hold its head so it's facing forward, and I make my dog sniff his butt, and then I turn my dog around [and repeat the process]. Dogs get all their information from sniffing the back end of another dog," she says. It may sound strange, but for dogs, a nose-to-nose introduction can signal confrontation.

For how long? The sniffing should be no more than two seconds, Hiebert says. "It should be 'sniff-sniff,' then the owner should very casually ... not yank the dog away, because that gives the dog some tension. But either call the dog away, and then very casually move. Or put your body in between the two dogs and kind of move yourself to get the dog away without yanking on the leash."

Separate quarters: Place the cat (or cats) from each household in separate rooms, and shut the doors. And then for each set, let one group out to explore the rest of the house alone, then have them go back to their room. Then let the second set come out and do the same thing.

More sniffing: This way, "they get used to the smells of each other without having to interact," Beaver says. Then gradually, for 15 to 20 minutes, leave the doors open so the cats can come out together, and then put them back in their rooms. "So they have brief encounters, but not long enough to really learn 'Gee, I hate you' kind of concepts.'" Then gradually give them more time together, if they choose. But they always have their original territories where they're apt to go off to.

A litter box of one's own: Especially if the cats have issues getting along, make sure to have several different litter boxes available around the house.

When shacking up with dogs, cats really need their own space, Beaver says. "You don't just throw the cat in front of the dog and have them meet face to face and say: 'Hi Fido, this is Fluffy.'" You give the cat a different area of the house -- a safe spot -- so it knows where to get away."

Equality is relative: It's very easy for humans to mess with the pack order, Beaver says. Don't try to force things like which dog gets fed first or petted first, because the dogs will establish their own pecking order. The higher-ranking one will displace the lower-ranking one, regardless of whose side it came from. Hiebert agrees. "You can't do an equality system, like: 'Oh, pet him, because he's gonna get jealous,'" she says. "One is always above the other, and you have to structure it like that to lessen the confusion between the two dogs."

Structure is key: As the pack leader, you lay down all the rules and guidelines, telling each dog where to sleep and where to eat.

Nothing in life for free: Make the dog work for everything before even the smallest reward. For instance, have her sit at the door before letting her out.

If there are serious aggression problems, it's best to consult a behaviorist before introducing the dogs. "Each dog needs to have their individualized plan of action," Hiebert says. "And that way each dog is secure with themselves, and then when they have to come together, it's a lot easier. Usually with a dog with behavior problems, it's some sort of insecurity. So if you can fix that, or at least help it, then you can help the dog a great deal."

This all depends on the dogs, Hiebert says. Some are fine sharing, some are not.

Food: Until they've built up a strong trust, each dog might need to be fed separately. "And I'm a big advocate of the dog crate," Hiebert says. "I would feed the dogs in their crates."

Toys: If the pug snaps at the St. Bernard for taking her bone, your instinct might be to punish the pug and reward the St. Bernard. Don't. Take the toy away so that no one gets toy privileges.

Forget about the illegal immigrants invading and taking over this country, the dogs and cats already have. For the amount of energy these people are investing in being caretakers, (slaves) of these animals, they could have raised two beautiful human baby’s.

I should add that I am also subect to the mind control exerted over me by my dog. All that she needs to do is to look from me to her dish and I stop what I am doing and feed her.

Free the people!

"For the amount of energy these people are investing in being caretakers, (slaves) of these animals, they could have raised two beautiful human baby’s."

Technically, it's still a free country where people can choose either or both or neither. It seems that you might stick with the threads about babies if the articles about critters bother you that badly.

Yes, you are correct-- dogs and cats have taken over the country. We see evidence of it everywhere...

And we should all do as you say and do nothing but crank out babies because we surely cannot bring pets to our existing human families (which the article happens to focus upon, and you failed to either read before responding, or to comprehend). It's also well known that if you happen to have a dog or a cat you surely don't have the time, nor the energy , nor the will to produce any number of 'beautiful human babies.' I think if you go back into ancient history you will see no evidence of any contribution from "man's best friend" to humanity. Nope, nothing there.

baby’s.

Nice.

But seriously, some really odd comments by you but I do want to thank you for your contribution here; It's not often I glimpse I your kind...

Yes it is a free country, but are you really living free? Are your thoughts really your own? Or is some little critter riding your back? Who are you really working for? What's the first thing you do every morning and the last thing that you do at night? Is it taking up the leash and following your dog out side while you wait for him/her to finish their business? I am just trying to get you to think outside of that box that these critters have you in. I know because I am in it also.

But seriously, some really odd comments by you but I do want to thank you for your contribution here; It's not often I glimpse I your kind...

Gosh Where's the humor? I'm going to go clean the kitty litter box, that's more fun that you guys.

I think that it is pretty ridiculous in the grand scheme of things what we are willing to do for love of our pets.

I am sorry that you take yourself so seriously

They should watch the Dog Whisperer instead of paying some dude $250 and hour.

Three dogs and a cat. They all are happy but know the humans in the house are Alphas. Not hard to do.

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