Some parents are on the receiving
end of their children's temper
Posted on 09/13/2007 10:43:16 AM PDT by yankeedame
Last Updated: Thursday, 13 September 2007, 16:05 GMT 17:05 UK
By Sue Mitchell
BBC Radio 4
Parents are increasingly becoming the victims of their own children, with evidence from Sheffield's juvenile courts that teenagers charged with common assault involving either their own mother or father now account for up to 7% of cases.
Some parents are on the receiving
end of their children's temper
...A Sheffield mother-of-three has been attacked by her 15-year-old son. In the past, he has also attacked her partner, smashed the front door and shattered the windows.
All this, she says, is because she refuses to give him money for alcohol.
"This isn't the first time he's attacked us but this is the first time I've been frightened of him", says the mother.
"I thought he would be taken away to be assessed, but all that's happened is he was put in temporary foster care for five days and then brought back home.
"Social services say I must deal with it, but I can't. I'm terrified of being in the house with him because I don't know what will happen next."
...The next day there is a call out to another case on the other side of the city involving a single mother, whose son is in custody following another attack.
On an earlier occasion, he smashed the front door and struck her. The court imposed a £100 fine, but as he was only 15, she had to pay the money herself.
..."Then any time after that he just said to me: 'Call the police - get another fine', and it made him even worse.
==(snip)==
In Sheffield, there have been two cases in the past year where fathers have died from their injuries following attacks by teenage sons.
Stuart Right is a victim support worker in the city. He carries out mediation between parents and children following attacks, and in his experience the problems are not just limited to teenage boys.
"I'm seeing more girls who have been involved in attacks on a parent," he said. ....
"I have a 13-year-old at the moment who carried out a serious assault on her mother because she objected to the company her daughter was keeping and questioned whether drugs or alcohol were being used."
...called to the home of another 13-year-old girl, Claire...Furious at being woken up early one morning, she has attacked her mother.
"She lashed out at her mum, going into a blind rage and pushing her back against a table," said Ms Bush.
"She then started punching and kicking her, and at some point during this attack, the sewing machine fell off the table onto the mother's leg, breaking a bone and causing other injuries.
"The girl then went into the kitchen and picked up a knife. She came back into the room and stood over her mum saying she was going to kill her. At this point, she's finally come to her senses and thrown the knife down."
Underlying causes
The mother and daughter are now receiving support aimed at tackling the problems between them.
It emerges that in part these stem from Claire's frustration about not knowing her father. The mother works long hours and the two spend little time doing nice things together.
==(snip)==
The charity Parentline Plus...says slightly more cases (56%) involve boys and fewer (44%) involve girls.
London area co-ordinator, Valerie Outram...says parents should accept that their children being angry or upset is natural.
"That acknowledgement of feelings goes a long way to calming a child down," she said.
==(snip)==
...She also advises parents to look for the underlying causes which could be problems at school, or change for instance caused by bereavement or divorce.
"Work hard when the child is calm and look at why the child is behaving like that, and address the problems that are causing it, to recognise that behaviour doesn't just come from nowhere, doesn't just happen."
I’ll bet these same parents are concerned about their precious darling’s self-esteem too.
Forget a time out...Spank the little demons.
People with out-of-control lives are more likely to end up with out-of-control children.
I never tried any thing like this, because my dad would have put me through a wall. Then made me fix the hole. This would have been a good way to get my dad to put me on the Grim Reepers to-do list.
I freely admit to being a doormat, but I wouldn’t let a child terrorize me. Good grief!!
If one doesn’t have external control over their child by the time the child is two or three; the child will not have internal control over themselves. This behavior stems from sparing the rod and spoiling the child.
I got my butt paddled a few times too. Was all my brother’s fault though, of course. ;op
I have been mad at my folks but this had never crossed my mind, and if it had I would have immediately decided on a less painful way to die. Judging by you name you may have seen AMerican Chopper, when my dad wanted to he could me Paul Sr look like St. Francis of Assissi. Fear can be a good motivator.
I’m a little over 5 ft tall and weighed around 100 lbs when my sons were going through their teenage years and they never would have thought of touching me in anger.
They made me mad with not letting me do things and stuff, but I never thought of lashing out like these kids did.
And looking back the things they didn't let me do were for my own good and kept me out of some trouble. (not that I didn't get into trouble on my own)
She is not necessarily a homosexual.
In a just society, a son who laid violent hands on his mother would be flogged publicly.
Of course, his mother - by living with a man who doesn't respect her enough to make her his wife - has zero self-respect. It is unsuprising that her son has no respect for her either - but that should make him sad, not violent.
Same here, but my dad was the discipliner in the family.
But from what I have seen all of us that came from the spanking generation are respectful and don't act like kids today do.
We NEVER shot up schools, beat up parents/grandparents/ got mouthy with teachers/ etc...
Don't get me wrong, I am not condoning child abuse, and beatings. I am just saying a little constructive spanking goes a long way sometimes.
My dad spanked me when I deserved it, and I thank him for loving me enough to lay down the law when I warranted it.
I don’t need to read past the first two or three sentences. The first time either of my teenagers tried something like that would be the LAST time, one way or another.
Parents have God-given authority to control their children, and I take that seriously.
This world is going insane.
I refer to constructive spanking as “the judicious use of pain.”
I think that you can point this problem directly to the secular culture in Britian and increasingly here. The church has no influence or attendance and there are no fathers in the homes. A partner is not a father.
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