Posted on 08/31/2007 5:34:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
LABOR DAY WEEKEND IS UPON US
"Labor Day differs in every essential way from the other holidays of the year in any country," said Samuel Gompers, founder and longtime president of the American Federation of Labor. "All other holidays are in a more or less degree connected with conflicts and battles of man's prowess over man, of strife and discord for greed and power, of glories achieved by one nation over another. Labor Day...is devoted to no man, living or dead, to no sect, race, or nation."
Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.
To most people in North America, however, Labor Day is above all the last-blast of summer fun, and --for many schoolkids-- the last day of freedom before Back to School. And even though many school districts now start classes in August, Labor Day long weekend is still a five-star farewell to summer time.
So sit back and relax this weekend...
Drink a cold one...
And enjoy some time off....
"What I don't understand about Labor Day is, if it's to honor the working man, how come Democrats get a holiday, too?"
What does Larry Craig and Hillary Clinton have in common?
They were both TAPPING a HSU/shoe!
Subject: The LARK program
A Lady wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay.
She received back the following reply:
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington , D.C. 20016
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Quada detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington.
You’ll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the “Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers” program, or LARK for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care.
Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers.
We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with
those you so strongly recommended in your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his attitudinal problem” will help him overcome these character flaws.
Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan
to offer counseling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep
those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views all females as a subhuman form of property.
This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire.
I’m sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka — over time.
Just remember that it is all part of “respecting his culture and his religious beliefs”. Wasn’t that how you put it?
Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job You take good care of Ahmed - and remember, we’ll be watching.
Good luck!
Cordially, your friend,
GEORGE W. BUSH
Are you “White and Nerdy” or just plain nerdy? LOL!
My kids love that story. Things get kind of weird around the ol' Owl's nest from time to time...
Owl_Eagle
If what I just wrote made you sad or angry,
it was probably just a joke.
A pretty good one from The Opinion Journal, Best of the Web Today...
Quote of the Day
“Speaking at a forum organized by Lance Armstrong on cancer research, Hillary Clinton told Chris Matthews if she is elected president, she will declare war on cancer, and then she will support the war on cancer for two years, and then she will be against it for a year, and then she will back out of it all together” — Jay Leno, host of NBC’s “Tonight Show.”
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied , “in-laws”
WOMEN’S REVENGE
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
“No,” she replied, “ but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”
A Mother and her five year old son were headed to McDonald's one day. On the way they passed a car accident.
As was the tradition when they see something terrible like that, they say a prayer for those who might be hurt.
The mother pointed and said to her son, "We should pray."
From the back seat she heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."
IOTP
The best part of your story is that my name is, in fact, Steve.
IOTP?
If only they paid?
This Labor Day, my you all avoid having widened stances.
Some people would argue that reading my lame jokes is payment enough
Of course, now that I re-read your post I realize that you are asking what IOTP means... I Own This Page.
But I like your version, too
Hehe
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