Posted on 08/31/2007 5:34:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
LABOR DAY WEEKEND IS UPON US
"Labor Day differs in every essential way from the other holidays of the year in any country," said Samuel Gompers, founder and longtime president of the American Federation of Labor. "All other holidays are in a more or less degree connected with conflicts and battles of man's prowess over man, of strife and discord for greed and power, of glories achieved by one nation over another. Labor Day...is devoted to no man, living or dead, to no sect, race, or nation."
Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.
To most people in North America, however, Labor Day is above all the last-blast of summer fun, and --for many schoolkids-- the last day of freedom before Back to School. And even though many school districts now start classes in August, Labor Day long weekend is still a five-star farewell to summer time.
So sit back and relax this weekend...
Drink a cold one...
And enjoy some time off....
"What I don't understand about Labor Day is, if it's to honor the working man, how come Democrats get a holiday, too?"
my page
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word he made contact, “Connie... Connie.... ”
“Is that you, Joe?”
“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”
“That’s wonderful! What’s it like?”
“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you’d be proud - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it’s back to golf course again. Then it’s more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.”
“Oh, Joe you surely must be in Heaven!”
“Not exactly... I’m a bunny on a golf course in Arizona. Sometimes I do street protests on the side.”
.
Thanks for the new tagline
I like this one too..
The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
The AARP Negotiates with the USGA to Modify the Rules of Golf for Seniors!
Rule 1.a.5
A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough with no penalty. The senior should not be penalized for tall grass which groundskeepers failed to mow.
Rule 2.d.6 (b)
A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.
Rule 3.b.3 (g)
There shall be no such thing as a lost ball; the missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging himself or herself with a penalty.
Rule 4.c.7 (h)
If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supercedes the Rules of Golf.
Rule 5.
Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.
Rule 6.a.9 (k)
There is no penalty for so-called “out of bounds.” If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The senior golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.
Rule 7.g.15 (z)
There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. Senior golfers should not be penalized for manufacturers’ shortcomings.
Rule 8.k.9(s)
Advertisements claim that golf scores can be imp roved by purchasing new golf equipment. Since this is financially impracticable for many senior golfers, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.
From JRBC:
Husband and wife are in bed together.
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She: “Oh, that feels good.”
His hand moves to her breast.
She: “Gee, honey, that feels wonderful.”
His hand moves to her leg.
She: “Oh, honey, don’t stop.”
But he stops.
She: “Why did you stop?”
He: “I found the remote.”
Living Will
Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her,
“I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer.
She’s Such A Bitch......
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.