Posted on 08/17/2007 7:53:02 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Computer Problem Report Form
1. Describe your problem: ____________________________________________________________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately: ________________________________________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: ________________________________________________________________
4. Problem Severity: A. Minor__ B. Minor__ C. Minor__ D. Trivial__
5. Nature of the problem: A. Locked Up__ B. Frozen__ C. Hung__ D. Strange Smell__
6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__
7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__
8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__
9. Have you made it worse? Yes__
10. Have you had "a friend" who "Knows all about computers" try to fix it for you? Yes__ No__
11. Did they make it even worse? Yes__
12. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__
13. Are you sure you've read the manual? Maybe__ No__
14. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__
15. If you read the manual, do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__
16. If 'Yes' then explain why you can't fix the problem yourself. __________________________________________________________
17. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred? ____________________________________________
l8. If you answered 'nothing' then explain why you were logged in? _______________________________________________________
l9. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__
20. Does the clock on your home VCR blink 12:00? Yes__ What's a VCR?__
21. Do you have a copy of 'PCs for Dummies'? Yes__ No__
22. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem? Yes__ No__
23. Do you have any electronics products that DO work? Yes__ No__
24. Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on? Yes__ No__
25. Have you given the machine a good whack on the top? Yes__ No__
26. Is the machine on fire? Yes__ Not Yet__
27. Can you do something else instead of bothering me? Yes__
"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?"
~ Marilyn Pittman
Alright...you asked for it...
Computer Puns
1. Home is where you hang your @.
2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
4. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.
5. Great groups from little icons grow.
6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
7. C:\ is the root of all directories.
8. Don’t put all your hypes in one home page.
9. Pentium wise, pen and paper foolish.
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
13. A chat has nine lives.
14. Don’t byte off more than you can view.
15. Fax is stranger than fiction.
16. What boots up must come down.
17. Windows will never cease.
18. In Gates we trust.
19. Virtual reality is its own reward.
20. Modulation in all things
21. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
22. There’s no place like home.com
23. Know what to expect before you connect.
24. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
25. Speed thrills.
26. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to use the Net and he will not bother you for
weeks.
hey.. i used to have one of those.. we turned it into an aquarium. :)
Backups are usually a good thing unless it’s a sewer.
If word processing a presentation about guns — be sure to know how to use bullets.
Dead languages have to be encrypted.
If a dog was computer literate, would his bark be worse than his byte?
Computers at breakfast food companies use serial i/o.
After his computer problems he decided on a Crash course in security.
Environmentalist: expert in computer operating systems.
one of the older mac systems used to have an error message like that.
it said “damn, i’m not really sure what caused this error”
yeah, we had a couple of them in one of the repair shops i used to work at.
punishment for being late for work or coming in too drunk was to spend time trying to make one work.
LOL!!
Korean food is hot, spicy and very yummy!
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