Stop Setting Alarms on My Biological Clock

Newsweek via MSNBC ^ | 07/19/2007 | Carrie Friedman

[RockinRight]

July 23, 2007 issue - I am at a party chatting with a woman I know slightly. As her young son squirms out of her embrace, she slips her hand under my shirt. She's not getting fresh with me. She's touching my tummy with her cold hand and asking me, in a concerned voice, "Why aren't you pregnant yet?" I smile, break free from her touch, and head to the food table to fill said empty belly with her brat's birthday cake. I love children and definitely plan on having them. Maternal instinct is oozing out of my pores: I've infantilized my dogs; I've gotten down on my hands and knees at the park with babies I barely know. My marriage is wonderful and solid, and we are both blessed with good health. I've been a nanny, a teacher, a youth-group leader. I've taken childhood-development courses solely for the purpose of someday raising happy, balanced children. I have always looked forward to becoming a mother. So why don't I have kids or even the inkling right now? It's because of you. Yes, you: the fanatical mothers of the world.

[Tijeras_Slim]

That was you???

Everything was going fine until my leisure suit got tangled in the weedeater.

[Allegra]

I tell people that I lost my uterus in the war.

Hey, that's actually a very plausible one for me to use. Maybe I'll say "I lost my uterus in a mortar attack."

Thanks. ;-)

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

I think sometimes well meaning people ask if you have kids, just like in the South they ask what church you go to. It's not really an indictment against those who don't, it's just a way to find something in common.

In small towns in Texas they ask who you are related to... :^)

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

I thought I recognized you...

What a party that was....

;o)

[hocndoc]

Shallow, immature people attempt to justify their choices on “poor roll models.”

By the time a woman is old enough to write this article, she should be able to fend off unwelcome touch and just say she’s happy with her life as it is.

Instead, she adopted the victim mentality with an overdose of self-righteousness.

[hocndoc]

“role,” not “roll model.”

Grown ups should be able to admit when they make mistakes, too.

[Tijeras_Slim]

What a party that was....

It was 3 weeks before I realized that somebody tattooed a picture of Alan Thicke on my back while I was passed out in the koi pond.

[Tijeras_Slim]

Grown ups should be able to admit when they make mistakes, too.

Been here since 1999, and still believe this... charming... :-D

[wallcrawlr]

only parents have slaves to rule over

till they turn 18 at least

[socialismisinsidious]

I came up with a whole list of things that I should’ve done, but not until later. I was so shocked by her nerve that she caught me totally off guard.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

I told them not to do it!!!

As usual I got outvoted!

[hocndoc]

Been here since ‘97 or at least ‘98 (there was some sort of glitch and I had to re-enroll) and the notion that grown ups should be able to admit to mistakes is reinforced almost daily on this site.

[agent_delta]

Sorry....

[Tijeras_Slim]

You!

[Allegra]

The “not married” reason doesn’t fly with the Prude Squad. They think you should marry the first a-hole you meet at age 20 and then be a good little submissive wife.

True. And I'll be happy to instruct any member of the Prude Squad how many ways to fold it and just where to stick it. ;-)

[agent_delta]

You look great in that outfit, have you lost weight?

[Tijeras_Slim]

You look great in that outfit, have you lost weight?

Nah, it's the hair.

[agent_delta]

is it yours?

[senorita]

Maybe she was just there for the food?

[Tijeras_Slim]

Only my hairdresser knows for sure.