Posted on 03/16/2007 8:05:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
We celebrate Saint Patrick's Day each year on March 17th. The festive holiday has everyone wearing green (so they don't get pinched) and chatting of four leaf clovers, shamrocks, lucky leprechauns, drinking green beer and kissing some big rock called a blarney stone.
Want to be lucky this St. Patrick's Day? Follow this advice:
1. Find a four-leaf clover. 
2. Wear green (so you don't get pinched).
3. Kiss the blarney stone. 
4. Catch a Leprechaun if you can.
5. Drink as much green beer as your heart desires. 
6. And don't forget that corned beef and cabbage.
"May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow and may trouble avoid you wherever you go!"
-Irish Blessing
Maybe to drive their groceries to the door??
YOU'VE BEEN OUT DRINKING AGAIN
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the
Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand again but with the same result. He figured he'd crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that would sober him up.
Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting:
"SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!!!"
Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?"
"The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again."
O'Sullivan
O'Sullivan Coat of Arms
Pat and Mike were very good friends and Pat came over to Mike's house to visit. When he entered the home, Mike wasn't there. Mike's wife was holding their baby and trying to put up curtains at the same time.
She said, "Pat, I'm glad you came, would you mind holding the baby while I finish the curtains?"
A few minutes later, Mike came in and said to Pat, "How Ya doin Pat?"
Pat replied, "I'm holding my own". That's when the battle started
Actually, I think your two rainbows compliment each other nicely! :)
An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you're not supposed to eat pork...Have you actually ever tasted it?
The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion."
Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too...I know you're supposed to be celibate. But...." The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you're going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice."
There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn't it?"
Eddie Haskell, The Beave, and Wally.
Parenting, war axe style.
+9 against whining.
*chuckle*
Cant you hear the thundering claw steps of the Giant Lobster coming to get you?
The family rumor is that we're really renegade leprechauns.
Either that or trow from the Orkneys.
I'll have to consult sis on this.
Thanks for the distraction kid, I think you just bought me another couple of minutes.
| You're 20% Irish |
 Not even on St. Patrick's Day! |
The good Father was warning his listeners about the suddenness of death. "Before another day is ended," he thundered, "somebody in this parish will die."
Seated in the front row was a little old Irishman who laughed out loud at this statement. Very angry, the priest said to the jovial old man, "What's so funny?" "Well!" spoke up the oldster, "I'm not a member of this parish."
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