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I need to reduce my Insensitive Brute-print around the house.
Institute for Reduction in Pr!ck Related Activities. | 2/28/07 | UNK

Posted on 02/28/2007 10:11:56 AM PST by Sax

Where can I go to purchase offsets?


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: offset; offsets
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Anyone know where I can go to purchase offsets? I'm coming under severe scrutiny from CINCHOUSE (Commander in Chief - House.) I don't want to spend a lot of time on this, I'm just hoping to throw a couple of bucks at the problem and be done with it.
1 posted on 02/28/2007 10:11:58 AM PST by Sax
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To: Sax

I think Quik Trip has them...right by the phone cards.


2 posted on 02/28/2007 10:13:50 AM PST by steve8714
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To: Sax

SAY WHUT???

I'm clueless.

Are we talking about splashing too much Brute on after shaving or what?


3 posted on 02/28/2007 10:16:17 AM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS WORTHY; GOD ALONE PAID THE PRICE; GOD ALONE IS ABLE; LOVE GOD WHOLLY)
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To: Sax

I usually buy mine from a guy named Ralph who sells them out of the trunk of his car (hybrid, of course). Get his 'frequent shopper' card-- for every $100 you spend, you get to kill a spotted owl with a hammer!


4 posted on 02/28/2007 10:16:45 AM PST by atomicpossum (Replies must follow approved guidelines or you will be kill-filed without appeal.)
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To: Sax
I'm coming under severe scrutiny from CINCHOUSE (Commander in Chief - House.)

Over something as silly as carbon offsets?!? Time to stage a coup and reclaim your rightful title.

5 posted on 02/28/2007 10:17:53 AM PST by Mr. Jeeves ("Wise men don't need to debate; men who need to debate are not wise." -- Tao Te Ching)
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To: Quix

If Al Gore can burn up a ton of electricity, creating a massive carbon footprint, and simply wave it away by "purchasing offsets," I figured hey, he might be on to something...


6 posted on 02/28/2007 10:19:12 AM PST by Sax
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To: Sax

There could be a number of markets for this, Sax. I may start a company where people can send me money to reduce their Dumbsh!t Footprint. People could pay me to offset their own staggering incompetence, be it on the job, in their personal lives, or in executing the duties public office.


7 posted on 02/28/2007 10:19:32 AM PST by Steel Wolf (As Ibn Warraq said, "There are moderate Muslims but there is no moderate Islam.")
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To: Sax
Where can I go to purchase offsets?

Dumb question. At the offset store of course.

8 posted on 02/28/2007 10:20:00 AM PST by ladtx ("It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it." -- -- General Douglas MacArthur)
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To: Sax
Where can I go to purchase offsets?

San Francisco?

9 posted on 02/28/2007 10:20:59 AM PST by Mad Dawg ("Now we are all Massoud.")
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To: Sax

http://www.self.org/cnc.asp


10 posted on 02/28/2007 10:21:13 AM PST by Lokibob (Some people are like slinkys. Useless, but if you throw them down the stairs, you smile.)
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To: Sax
Have CINCH blow a number on your sax, Sax.

Tell me if it works and I'll try it here too.

11 posted on 02/28/2007 10:21:16 AM PST by Zuben Elgenubi
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To: Sax

Does this offset make my butt-print look fat?


12 posted on 02/28/2007 10:21:21 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: ladtx
At the offset store of course.

Offset Depot?

13 posted on 02/28/2007 10:26:26 AM PST by atomicpossum (Replies must follow approved guidelines or you will be kill-filed without appeal.)
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To: Sax
Expect to see this type of question on future SAT exams.

If Bobby's Dad uses 150,000kw of power from the overtaxed power grid and buys 15 offsets from Jimmy's Mom how many SUV's will it take to use up the ethanol that could be produced from the deforested Amazon flood plain?

14 posted on 02/28/2007 10:27:42 AM PST by ladtx ("It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it." -- -- General Douglas MacArthur)
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To: Sax

Can I buy offsets from pretty girls for every ugly girl I have brought home?


15 posted on 02/28/2007 10:27:57 AM PST by HOTTIEBOY (HUNTER: "I don't have to hire a consultant to develop a conservative image, I am a conservative.")
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To: Sax

Hmmmmm . . .

Weill in the first 10 minutes of meeting my future mother-in-law in her home . . . she let fly with a

FFFFFFRRRRRAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPINGLY LOUD one.

And sort of chuckled and said "Welll, welcome to the family."

Indeed.

Given that, when wife later protested . . . I noted that if I couldn't fart in my own home, there would be some major changes.


16 posted on 02/28/2007 10:32:18 AM PST by Quix (GOD ALONE IS WORTHY; GOD ALONE PAID THE PRICE; GOD ALONE IS ABLE; LOVE GOD WHOLLY)
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To: HOTTIEBOY

buying is probably the only way you'll get them home


17 posted on 02/28/2007 10:33:20 AM PST by absolootezer0 (stop repeat offenders - don't re-elect them!)
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To: Sax

I'm going up to Home depot and buying whatever programmable thermostat they have on sale, and sell them on ebay at double the price as "ENERGY OFFSETS" THANKS FOR THE GREAT IDEA.


18 posted on 02/28/2007 10:33:38 AM PST by Lokibob (Some people are like slinkys. Useless, but if you throw them down the stairs, you smile.)
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To: atomicpossum

Offset Depot!

Been a pr!ck around the house - we've got offsets for that.

Eating up all the ocean's sea life and washing it down with cold beer - we've got offsets for that.

Need to back peddle on a "Do as I say, not as I do" political issue - Sure, we've got offsets for that TOO!


19 posted on 02/28/2007 10:37:07 AM PST by Sax
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To: Sax

Flowers and/or jewelry usually gets a man by for a few weeks.


20 posted on 02/28/2007 10:37:39 AM PST by Spruce
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