The "Official" Friday Silliness Thread - FREE FOR ALL

http://www.caughtatwork.net/ ^ | February 23, 2007 | Lucky9teen

[Lucky9teen]

Official Friday Silliness Thread Ping List

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· OFST Ping List · join list & same if you want off

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It's a Free-For-All Friday Silliness Thread. Post whatever your heart desires (within FR limitations) to help the day flow along. Keep it goofy, silly and humorous and have fun. After all, I'm sure none of us want to be "working", so hopefully we can push this thread beyond it's limits (and posts) and make something of it. Come on people....let's make the OFST what is used to be. And I mean, none of this 85 post stuff. I'm talking 500 or more. ;p

[Lucky9teen]

Do you have a dirty mind?

[ErnBatavia]

No surprises there...the area code on the building is San Francisco's.

[backinthefold]

 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a'salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" " Well, It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
you," says Dolly "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
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Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest.

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you "sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. (bet you start humming it)

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

[fredhead]

Hey, everybody. Just got back, been down to Charleston, SC working this week.

You ever see the John Wayne movie "Rio Lobo"? Jack Elam (old character actor with the weird eyes) played a part there where he's escorting the main bad guy (played by Victor French) to the jail, and he's carrying a shotgun with the triggers tied back, and he's holding the hammers cocked.

[ArGee]

That is NOT how liposucktion works.

Shalom.

[ErnBatavia]

Ripe-O-Suction?

[Lucky9teen]

Hakuna my groina...

[marine86297]

THIS THREAD ROCKS MAN!! OFST IS THE SH*T!

[fredhead]

Jack Elam

[marine86297]

Anybody want some cake?

[ArGee]

Nip-o-suction?

[fredhead]

George of Jungle calls loincloth a buttflap

[BenLurkin]

LOL!

[sure_fine]

I took almost that same picture at that time.
I live near that store on PA/MD line(highway 165/74; York Road)
It use to be an old place named Tom's Groceries, now its a Klein's

[tomkow6]

[marine86297]

How bout somma diss?

[martin_fierro]

[BJClinton]

Sully has requested I handle this thread for now...so here goes...

You're doing it wrong... ;-)

[OESY]

Identical twins in the "Rose Monday" parade were named "Reality" and "Cliche".

.

[BJClinton]

I think mom would be getting out the belt or paddle. It has to be grandma.