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For Jay or Dave, no charge - my jokes on the astronaut thing
freedomdefender ^ | February 6, 2007 | freedomdefender

Posted on 02/06/2007 1:19:43 PM PST by freedomdefender

If I were doing the monologue tonight, here's a few I've come up with:

1. This is one lady you don't want holding your cord on your space walk.

2. Reportedly she had a thing for a male astronaut. Her motto: If this shuttle's rockin', don't come nockin'.

3) Reportedly she drove 1000 miles in diapers. If she's acquitted, she can become a spokesmodel for Depends.

(Excerpt) Read more at edition.cnn.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: astronaut; astronut; lisanowak

1 posted on 02/06/2007 1:19:44 PM PST by freedomdefender
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To: freedomdefender

Keep the day job ...


2 posted on 02/06/2007 1:21:18 PM PST by tx_eggman (Democrat Campaign Slogan - 2006: "Bring Out The Gimp!")
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To: freedomdefender

New song, "All's Fair in Love and Space".


3 posted on 02/06/2007 1:23:02 PM PST by taxesareforever (Never forget Matt Maupin)
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To: freedomdefender

Lunartic!


4 posted on 02/06/2007 1:23:08 PM PST by Jo Nuvark (Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3)
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To: freedomdefender

4. She drove from Texas to Florida, shouldn't she have taken the shuttle?


5 posted on 02/06/2007 1:24:38 PM PST by HEY4QDEMS (Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.)
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To: freedomdefender
Steve Miller just checked in...

"Some people call her the space cowgirl. Some call her the gangsta of love."

6 posted on 02/06/2007 1:25:34 PM PST by ConservativeStatement
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To: MassRepublicanFlyersFan

Oh man...that's good!


7 posted on 02/06/2007 1:27:19 PM PST by pgkdan (Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions - G.K. Chesterton)
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To: freedomdefender
Her lawyer just checked in...

"Lisa, we got a problem."

8 posted on 02/06/2007 1:29:05 PM PST by ConservativeStatement
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To: freedomdefender

No, a sense of humor is important. Good job.
Here are some of my ad ons:

"But, you should have seen his rocket!"
"Drive a thousand miles in diapers and attack a woman with a BB gun...rocket scientist.....right."
"You should have seen the mission patch for this one."
"Well, the hammer did cost $25,000 and the rubber tubing was flexible in zero G."


Sad case over all, but I think it was well covered here on the 325 posts.


9 posted on 02/06/2007 1:31:50 PM PST by IrishCatholic (No local communist or socialist party chapter? Join the Democrats, it's the same thing.)
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To: freedomdefender

I guess the $64,000 question is: Does she have the right stuff?


10 posted on 02/06/2007 1:32:01 PM PST by stevem
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To: freedomdefender
David Bowie just checked in...

He asked if she took her protein pills and put her helmet on.


11 posted on 02/06/2007 1:38:00 PM PST by ConservativeStatement
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To: freedomdefender

One small step for a man.
One giant creep for a woman.


12 posted on 02/06/2007 1:39:41 PM PST by Jo Nuvark (Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3)
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To: MassRepublicanFlyersFan
Now that' funny.
13 posted on 02/06/2007 2:17:41 PM PST by MotleyGirl70 (Hunter '08!)
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To: MotleyGirl70

Hi ya, Motley. Do ya like my HTML skills? :-)


14 posted on 02/06/2007 3:15:29 PM PST by ConservativeStatement
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To: IrishCatholic
"You should have seen the mission patch for this one."
"Well, the hammer did cost $25,000 and the rubber tubing was flexible in zero G."

LOL! You're good!

15 posted on 02/06/2007 4:52:53 PM PST by meowmeow (In Loving Memory of Our Dear Viking Kitty (1987-2006))
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To: freedomdefender

Call me crazy, but if there is a good joke somewhere in this story, it would involve the TV show "I dream of Jeannie".


16 posted on 02/06/2007 5:39:15 PM PST by Screamname (Guinness world records reports that the record for youngest living person is constantly being broken)
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Just what, exactly, is in that Orbit gum?


17 posted on 02/07/2007 9:39:12 AM PST by SunkenCiv (I last updated my profile on Saturday, February 3, 2007. https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: freedomdefender

Clearly a case of the Right Snuff.


18 posted on 02/07/2007 10:40:57 AM PST by matt1234
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Comment #19 Removed by Moderator

To: freedomdefender

How do you get from Houston to Orlando in 8 hours?

Depends!

Rimshot Cymbol Crash


20 posted on 02/13/2007 6:45:09 PM PST by jackieaxe (Unsourced reporting is not reporting but a lie or a manipulation)
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