Posted on 02/02/2007 7:52:59 AM PST by SmithL
What if the astonishing proclamation made by top gooberhead Scientologist (and official Friend of Tom) David Miscavige is urgent and accurate and Tom Cruise really is that happy cult's personal Jesus, a true deity who may not be recognized in this lifetime for his divine contributions but who, in the future, will be "worshipped like Jesus" for what he has done for humankind and therefore we have all been looking at "Jerry McGuire" and "Days of Thunder" and "MI:III" exactly wrong?
Can you imagine? No? Me neither. Here, try this bottle of Ambien and this forced ingestion of 3,000 powdered copies of Us Weekly and this enthusiastic partial lobotomy. There. Can you imagine now? Excellent.
After all, is it not dazzling to ponder? Is it not the most beautiful and terrifying thing this side of Lynne Cheney in a ball gag and the Olsen Twins eating ham sandwiches off each other's sunken rib cages? Tom Cruise and Jesus, together at last, and not in a bad Spielberg flick full of giant alien spider-pods with Tom sprinting over barren blood-drenched landscapes to save his cute blond child from being eaten alive. It's enough to make you consider Jainism. Or moving to Tibet.
This much is a fact: Apparently, the Grinning One has been told by best pal and Scientology overlord Miscavige that he is indeed a Christ figure, the one who will best spread the gospel of cheese-ball sci-fi novelist-cum-religion-founder L. Ron "I Made the Whole Thing Up" Hubbard to the planet at large and therefore change the world, even though...
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
`nuf said
I wonder how many souls Tom keeps out of heaven.
OK there are two very important things that must be pointed out. First, God created Scientologists so that Jehovah's Witnesses would have someone to laugh at.
Second, if you have a friend or loved one who is inclined to go off and follow some false religion, keep them away from things like islam, JWs, etc. Instead, encourage them to follow Scientology because when the time comes for them to explain to God what they believed, there's a reasonable hope that He'll be laughing so hard that He'll forget to send them to hell.
Re title: I don't think L. Ron Hubbard ever considered Scientology a "church" in the strict sense except for tax purposes. Scientology was, and is, a for profit enterprise.
Tom's best friend runs Scientology, so it shouldn't come to no surprise he has been transformed into a messiah.
"Second, if you have a friend or loved one who is inclined to go off and follow some false religion, keep them away from things like islam, JWs, etc. Instead, encourage them to follow Scientology because when the time comes for them to explain to God what they believed, there's a reasonable hope that He'll be laughing so hard that He'll forget to send them to hell."
LOL Good point.
OHMYFRIKKIN'TOM alert.
How would anyone know one way or the other?
YOu are right, I don't know much about Scientology, but from what I have heard it is really off the wall. Aliens on human bodies and stuff like that. You are right to keep a sense of humor about it.
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