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Best disclaimer of all time
Nelson Rocks Preserve Web site ^ | NRP Management

Posted on 02/01/2007 7:20:34 PM PST by Scothia

WARNING

Nature is unpredictable and unsafe. Mountains are dangerous. Many books have been written about these dangers, and there's no way we can list them all here. Read the books.

Nelson Rocks Preserve is covered in steep terrain with loose, slippery and unstable footing. The weather can make matters worse. Sheer drops are everywhere. You may fall, be injured or die. There are hidden holes. You could break your leg. There are wild animals, which may be vicious, poisonous or carriers of dread diseases. These include poisonous snakes and insects. Plants can be poisonous as well. We don't do anything to protect you from any of this. We do not inspect, supervise or maintain the grounds, rocks, cliffs or other features, natural or otherwise.

Real dangers are present even on trails. Trails are not sidewalks. They can be, and are, steep, slippery and dangerous. Trail features made or enhanced by humans, such as steps, walls and railings (if any) can break, collapse, or otherwise fail catastrophically at any time. We don't promise to inspect, supervise or maintain them in any way. They may be negligently constructed or repaired. They are unsafe, period. Live with it or stay away.

Stay on the trails whenever possible. The terrain, in addition to being dangerous, is surprisingly complex. You may get lost. Carry food, water and first aid supplies at all times.

Rocks and other objects can fall from the cliffs. They can tumble down slopes. This can happen naturally, or be caused by people above you, such as climbers. Rocks of all sizes, including huge boulders, can shift, move or fall with no warning. Use of helmets is advised for anyone approaching the rock formations. They can be purchased or rented at Seneca Rocks. They won't save you if you get hit by something big or on another part of your body. A whole rock formation might collapse on you and squash you like a bug. Don't think it can't happen.

Weather can be dangerous, regardless of the forecast. Be prepared with extra clothing, including rain gear. Hypothermia, heat stroke, lightning, ice and snow, etc. can kill you. Rain can turn easy terrain into a deathtrap.

If you scramble in high places (scrambling is moving over terrain steep enough to use your hands) without proper experience, training and equipment, or allow children to do so, you are making a terrible mistake. Even if you know what you're doing, lots of things can go wrong and you may be injured or die. It happens all the time.

The Preserve does not provide rangers or security personnel. The other people in the preserve, including other visitors, our employees, agents, and guests, and anyone else who might sneak in, may be stupid, reckless, or otherwise dangerous. They may be mentally ill, criminally insane, drunk, using illegal drugs and/or armed with deadly weapons and ready to use them. We aren't necessarily going to do anything about it. We refuse to take responsibility.

If you climb, you may die or be seriously injured. This is true whether you are experienced or not, trained or not, equipped or not, though training and equipment may help. It's a fact, climbing is extremely dangerous. If you don't like it, stay at home. You really shouldn't be doing it anyway. We do not provide supervision or instruction. We are not responsible for, and do not inspect or maintain, climbing anchors (including bolts, pitons, slings, trees, etc.) As far as we know, any of them can and will fail and send you plunging to your death. There are countless tons of loose rock ready to be dislodged and fall on you or someone else. There are any number of extremely and unusually dangerous conditions existing on and around the rocks, and elsewhere on the property. We may or may not know about any specific hazard, but even if we do, don't expect us to try to warn you. You're on your own.

Rescue services are not provided by the Preserve, and may not be available quickly or at all. Local rescue squads may not be equipped for or trained in mountain rescue. If you are lucky enough to have somebody try to rescue you or treat your injuries, they may be incompetent or worse. This includes doctors and hospitals. We assume no responsibility. Also, if you decide to participate in a rescue of some other unfortunate, that's your choice. Don't do it unless you are willing to assume all risks.

By entering the Preserve, you are agreeing that we owe you no duty of care or any other duty. We promise you nothing. We do not and will not even try to keep the premises safe for any purpose. The premises are not safe for any purpose. This is no joke. We won't even try to warn you about any dangerous or hazardous condition, whether we know about it or not. If we do decide to warn you about something, that doesn't mean we will try to warn you about anything else. If we do make an effort to fix an unsafe condition, we may not try to correct any others, and we may make matters worse! We and our employees or agents may do things that are unwise and dangerous. Sorry, we're not responsible. We may give you bad advice. Don't listen to us. In short, ENTER AND USE THE PRESERVE AT YOUR OWN RISK. And have fun!


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Outdoors; Society
KEYWORDS: disclaimer; outdoors; responsibility; rockclimbing
Putting the responsibility for risks taken solely on the person himself--what a concept!
1 posted on 02/01/2007 7:20:37 PM PST by Scothia
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To: Scothia
Putting the responsibility for risks taken solely on the person himself--what a concept!

That would never hold up in court

2 posted on 02/01/2007 7:30:04 PM PST by Always Right
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To: Scothia

Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball!


3 posted on 02/01/2007 7:31:38 PM PST by dfwgator (The University of Florida - Championship U)
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To: Scothia

Sounds dreadful. Let's go there!

This place needs a PR firm.


4 posted on 02/01/2007 7:39:42 PM PST by rbookward (When 900 years old you are, type as well you will not!)
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To: Scothia

At the Bethpage Black course in Long Island there is a warning sign that the it's an extremely difficult course and should only be attempted by experience golfers.

It used to be that you had verify you had a certain handicap to play the course. The people complained that they paid taxes for the course too and should be allowed to play it. Now everyone can play it, and unless we go off as one of the first groups in the morning it can be a 5 and half hour round. This is not a course that you can hack around on, if a hack golfer tries to play out every hole he might play an EIGHT hour round.

In the unfortunate instances where I have to play with Joe "let's have fun and shoot 235" we just walk ahead of him and play, either he gets the hint and hustles, quits, or tries to play with some group behind us.

It's not our responsiblility to stay with HIM and turn a 4 1/2 hour round into a 6 1/2 hour round and torture everyone behind us. One of the first rules of golf is pace of play, these hacks never read it, you don't get to play at YOUR pace or you're penalized. We penalize the hack ourselves.


5 posted on 02/01/2007 7:39:52 PM PST by word_warrior_bob (You can now see my amazing doggie and new puppy on my homepage!! Come say hello to Jake & Sonny)
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To: Scothia
Putting the responsibility for risks taken solely on the person himself--what a concept!

To me it sounds more like tree-worshipping eco-nazis trying to discourage anyone from using the preserve.

6 posted on 02/01/2007 7:48:55 PM PST by stillonaroll
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To: Scothia

I especially like the "...and have fun" at the end of the warnings!

Was at Grand Canyon in Arizona, with all kinds of signs posted to not go beyond the barriers, and saw a few idiots standing behind the fences, with a long drop into the canyon behind them, just to get that perfect picture. Never overestimate the IQ of the average human.


7 posted on 02/01/2007 8:37:36 PM PST by Theresawithanh (Growing old isn't so bad, especially when you consider the alternative!)
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To: word_warrior_bob

when I play, it is usually with the same group.

should there be a slow group ahead, we give them 3 holes MAX to let us play through, or we just play over them.



LOL, you should see and hear what happens when you put one on the fringe of the green from the tee and they are on their 3 approach shot


8 posted on 02/02/2007 2:36:39 AM PST by sure_fine ( • not one to over kill the thought process™ •)
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To: Scothia

Action figures sold separately. Add toner. All models over 18 years of age. All rights reserved. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. An equal opportunity employer. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Apply only to affected area. Approved for veterans. As seen on TV. At participating locations only. Avoid contact with mucous membranes. Avoid contact with skin. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Batteries not included. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Beware of dog. Booths for two or more. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Call toll free number before digging. Caveat emptor. Check here if tax deductible. Close cover before striking Colors may fade. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Contents may settle during shipment. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Copyright © 1995 Joker's Wild. 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Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. List at least two alternate dates. List each check separately by bank number. List was current at time of printing. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. May be too intense for some viewers. Must be 18 to enter. No Canadian coins. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. No animals were harmed in the production of these documents. No money down. No other warranty expressed or implied. No passes accepted for this engagement. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No preservatives added. No purchase necessary. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added. No shoes, no shirt, no service, no kidding. No solicitors. No substitutions allowed. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. No user-serviceable parts inside. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Not liable for damages due to use or misuse. Not recommended for children. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Not the Beatles. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Other copyright laws for specific entries apply wherever noted. Other restrictions may apply. Package sold by weight, not volume. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Penalty for private use. Place stamp here. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Post office will not deliver without postage. Postage will be paid by addressee. Prerecorded for this time zone. Price does not include taxes. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Read at your own risk. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Replace with same type. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Restaurant package, not for resale. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Ribbed for your pleasure. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sanitized for your protection. Sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken. See label for sequence. Shading within a garment may occur. Sign here without admitting guilt. Simulated picture. Slightly enlarged to show detail. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Slippery when wet. Smoking these may be hazardous to your health. Some assembly required. Some equipment shown is optional. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Subject to FCC approval. Subject to change without notice. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Text used in these documents is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh. These documents do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my rabbit. This disclaimer was stolen from Phillip Winn (pwinn@winn.com), who can't remember from whom he stole it. This is not an offer to sell securities. This offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Times approximate. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Use only as directed. Use only in a well-ventilated are. User assumes full liabilities. Void where prohibited. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. You must be present to win. You need not be present to win. Your canceled check is your receipt. Your mileage may vary.


9 posted on 02/02/2007 4:40:07 AM PST by michigander (The Constitution only guarantees the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.)
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To: Scothia
I love it.

Now if they have all this printed up on a release of some kind it'll be brilliant.

L

10 posted on 02/02/2007 4:43:38 AM PST by Lurker (Europeans killed 6 million Jews. As a reward they got 40 million Moslems. Karma's a bitch.)
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To: Scothia

A similar disclaimer should be given for anyone wishing to register and vote as a Democrat....


11 posted on 02/02/2007 7:17:25 PM PST by NewJerseyJoe (Rat mantra: "Facts are meaningless! You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!")
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To: Scothia

bookmarked


12 posted on 02/05/2007 8:43:46 AM PST by chaosagent (Remember, no matter how you slice it, forbidden fruit still tastes the sweetest!)
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To: Scothia
We and our employees or agents may do things that are unwise and dangerous. Sorry, we're not responsible. We may give you bad advice. Don't listen to us.

I like that the best. Sometimes my adult daughter asks for advice, and then complains if things don't turn out perfect. I should begin including this disclaimer.

13 posted on 02/05/2007 10:48:14 AM PST by scan59 (No matter where you go, there you are.)
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