Posted on 01/26/2007 1:58:55 AM PST by sully777
You Might NOT Be An Astronomer If You Think That...
AURORA BOREALIS
is an exotic dancer in Nome, Alaska
AN ASTRONOMICAL UNIT
refers to the cost of an Air Force toilet.
BETELGEUSE
is the stuff you squeegee off the windshield of your car.
CLOCK DRIVE
refers to the street beneath Big Ben.
A GASEOUS PROMINENCE
is Al Gore.
HYPERED FILM
is when you really need to brush your teeth.
LIGHT POLLUTION
is a few beer cans in the yard.
AN UMBRA
is something you need during a rain shower.
PLUTO
is Mickey's sidekick.
NORTHERN LIGHTS
is a brand of a mentholated, low nicotine cigarette.
PERIHELION
is a guy who sang "That's Amore" in the 1950s.
SOLAR CORONA
is warm Mexican beer.
AN OFF AXIS GUIDER
is a persistent backseat driver.
A MAKSUTOV
is a wine bottle filled with gasoline and thrown at tanks.
A STAR PARTY
is a Hollywood bash.
SCHMIDT-CASSEGRAIN
is a German meal made with rice.
REFRACTOR
is when Vito breaks your leg for the second time.
ZODIACAL LIGHT
is a low alcohol beer.
A STAR CHART
predicts the future.
A PENUMBRA
is something you need during a rain shower or when you need to write a note.
THE PHOTOSPHERE
is a snapshot of a beachball.
A GRAVITATIONAL LENS
is the new contact your kid drops through an open grate.
A NEUTRON
is a fig cookie.
A LIGHT YEAR
is a period of time when you don't have enough cash.
A BLACK HOLE
is that sump in your basement.
SOLAR WIND
is what your fat uncle had after Thanksgiving dinner.
URANUS
is an anatomical feature rather than a planet.
Ahh--back in the States again!
100% Dixie. Is General Lee your grandfather?!
I use gorilla glue, and it's way serious. is gorilla tape that much better than duct tape?
FReeper ladies sound off if you ductboob.
We MUST be cousins!!! Howdy!
I must say I have never ductboobed before.
20% Dixie. Wow! You are a Duke of Yankeedom!
I assume everyone has seen this, but I just got it and had a great Friday morning laugh over it. Gotta love the Little Johnny jokes:
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did
for a living. All the typical answers came up -fireman, mechanic,
businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.
But little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the
teacher prodded him about his father, he replied:
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off his clothes
in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if
the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and make love
with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly sent the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Johnny
aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and
is helping to secure the Nomination of Hillary Clinton in 2008, but I
was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
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