PlayOnLyrics top 20 worst lyrics

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[Lady Jag]

A Politically Correct Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".

To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,
joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.

And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt,
besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
he just couldn't figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere...even you!
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...


"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH"

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Hot sauce dripping from their toes
(“Oh! That tickles!”)
Yuletide squirrels fresh filleted by the choir
They poked hot skewers through their nose
(“Ow! Wrong end, ya cowboy!”)
Everybody knows some pepper and a garlic clove
Help to make them seasoned right
Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat
Will really hit the spot tonight

And now when Santa sees his tray
(“Ho ho ho ho ho ho”)
There’ll be some homemade chipmunk jerky for his sleigh
(“Mmmm…Hey, look at that!”)
And every hungry child is gonna spy
To see if chipmunks really sing when they fry
And so I’m brushing on some honey glaze
To keep them crisp and juicy too
Let’s hope they get served many times many ways
Tasty Chipmunks; good food

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Don't make me Google Alvin and the Chipmunks again!!

I feel so dirty....

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

At the end of the song you hear Dave yell "Alvin!" and Bob answers, "Alvin is gone Dave, but there is plenty of Theodore left..."

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Theodore has a juicy brain...

;)

[Darksheare]

"Lips of an Angel"

"My girl's in, the next room. Sometimes I wish she was you. I guess we never really moved on."

No, yah think?
And what's with the opener of that line where it sounds like the guy is singing "My COUSIN, the next room"?

[Darksheare]

Jack frost roasting, on an open fire.
Chestnuts nipping at your nose...


Better not scream, better not pout, better not shout or I'm calling you out, Anti-Claus is coming to town.


Gooey the skullboy was a jolly shrunken head
With a miniature face and a sewn up nose
And no eyes for all we know
Gooey the skullboy is a prank I heard it said
He's not made of snow but the children
know how he chased their mom one day.
There must have been some magic in the shrunken head they found
'Cause when they placed it on the bed it began to roll around.
Gooey the skullboy was alive or so they said
He's just a head today now he'll roll away
We'll watch him as he goes...

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

So, I can only be with you if I pay your bills? That would make you a…what exactly?

A hip-hop video hoochie?

"All I wanna do is zooma zoom zoom zoom and a boom-boom...now shake yer rump!"

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Happy Christmas, Darks....

[Darksheare]

;-)

Merry Christmas.
I've been messing up lyrics lately.
Haven't typed anything down though.
*drats*

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

2. Captain and Tennille, “Muskrat Love”

Oooh...bad research.

"Muskrat Love" was written by Willis Alan Ramsey in 1971 and first performed by the group "America".
The Captain and Tenille only covered it.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

All of these entries are worthy of scorn...but the one set of song lyrics that sticks in my mind and always make me just shake my head are by the Doors:

"Not To Touch The Earth"

Dead president's corpse in the driver's car
The engine runs on glue and tar
Come on along, not goin' very far
To the East to meet the Czar
Run with me
Run with me
Run with me
Let's run
Whoa!
Some outlaws lived by the side of a lake
The minister's daughter's in love with the snake
Who lives in a well by the side of the road
Wake up, girl, we're almost home
Ya, c'mon!
We should see the gates by mornin'
We should be inside the evenin'
Sun, sun, sun
Burn, burn, burn
Soon, soon, soon
Moon, moon, moon
I will get you
Soon!
Soon!
Soon!
I am the Lizard King
I can do anything

[Irish_Thatcherite]

That's ok, you'll only get typos! ;)

[SoCal Pubbie]

"Wang Chung, “Everybody Have Fun”"

Blasphemy!

[Darksheare]

Extremely true.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

I hope there are no typos on Santy's list of addresses! :-P

[gcruse]

"hack musician Steve Allen"

Your idea of hack needs work.

[Darksheare]

Shouldn't be, I didn't type them up for him.

[Slings and Arrows]

"Christmas With The Devil"
Spinal Tap

The elves are dressed in leather
And the angels are in chains
(Christmas with the Devil)
The sugar plums are rancid
And the stockings are in flames
(Christmas with the Devil)
There's a demon in my belly
And a gremlin in my brain
There's someone up the chimney hole
And Satan is his name

The rats ate all the presents
And the reindeer ran away
(Christmas with the Devil)
There'll be no Father Christmas
'Cause it's Evils holiday
(Christmas with the Devil)

No bells in Hell
No snow below-
Silent Night,
Violent Night

So come all ye unfaithful
Don't be left out in the cold
You don't need no invitation, no...
Your ticket is your soul

[Irish_Thatcherite]

LOL! Satire at it's best!