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Enjoy your dad Kate!!!

snugs, I know it is one year that you lost your mom on Christmas Eve. I lost my dad at Christmas time also (16 years ago)

A day doesn't pass that I don't' think of him & miss him...

I hope you & your dad can have a good day despite the inherent sadness that accompanies anniversaries such as this.

How is he doing?

will you spend any time w/Phil? (was he the one in California last week?)

Mum actually died early hours Christmas Day last year but was desperately ill on Christmas Eve - I think dad feels this more than I do.

Somehow after dementia got her in my mind I had already lost her - sounds hard but the real mum had gone. She was always so busy cooking, cleaning tending to the animals etc when she no longer could do that she was no longer my mum. Yes I shed a few tears last Christmas but I had already come to terms with her being gone but dad is a different story.

No it was Brenda that was in California a couple of weeks ago she visits her son each year at that time for his birthday. She was a friend semi carer for mum and has continued to visit dad and help me with household chores what with working full time I need it.

Phil is with his youngest daughter this year for Christmas which is good because she was daddies favourite if you get my drift it just worked out that way. She was terribly upset when Phil and his wife parted and Phil left even though he religiously visited each week it was not the same of course. It has in a way made her hard and selfish which goes against her real character of a soft kind person.

This year the oldest daughter who in a way is now closer to Phil will spend the time with her family (2 small children and husband) and their friends and family (coming from London her husband has lots of both). So Hazel (youngest) was upset that Phil might be on his own and got him an invite at her boyfriend's for Christmas Day. Phil is not really looking forward to this as during the year he had a very messy breakup with a very strange lady one he realises he should never have got linked with in the first place. He spent last Chirstmas with her and New year and it was a disaster so he wanted this year to be alone quiet and be reflective but did not have the heart to turn Hazel down.

Compromise is that Hazel will come to him on Christmas Eve he will cook Christmas dinner to serve that night at about 6.00pm. This continues the family tradition when Hazel was young of serving the meal the day before so that Christmas Day was family time of opening presents and enjoying them. This I think again will be special and Hazel needs it to start really bonding again as an adult with Phil. They are not estranged but there is somewhat of a barrier there.

Phil has a rotten cold so he will decide on Christmas Day whether he joins Hazel or not at the Boyfriend's parents or she may go there alone. In a way the cold is probably a blessing in disguise as it gives him a legitimate reason to bow out if he wishes to.

Regarding our Christmas he came round last night and we exchanged gifts he may come round next week for a day/evening depends really on how his cold is and how he feels emotitonally he may just wish to spend a fews days at home quiet and reflective.

He has to work one day as his office is open between Christmas and the New Year but there are 3 in the Department so they are all taking turns at doing just one day.

Off to do last minute Christmas shopping and post letter for work as documents arrived at my home this morning. They were sent here as we finished yesterday until after the new year and the documents had to go to the bank before the new year to get forwarded to Morocco before the boat docks in Morocco.