Mum actually died early hours Christmas Day last year but was desperately ill on Christmas Eve - I think dad feels this more than I do.
Somehow after dementia got her in my mind I had already lost her - sounds hard but the real mum had gone. She was always so busy cooking, cleaning tending to the animals etc when she no longer could do that she was no longer my mum. Yes I shed a few tears last Christmas but I had already come to terms with her being gone but dad is a different story.
No it was Brenda that was in California a couple of weeks ago she visits her son each year at that time for his birthday. She was a friend semi carer for mum and has continued to visit dad and help me with household chores what with working full time I need it.
Phil is with his youngest daughter this year for Christmas which is good because she was daddies favourite if you get my drift it just worked out that way. She was terribly upset when Phil and his wife parted and Phil left even though he religiously visited each week it was not the same of course. It has in a way made her hard and selfish which goes against her real character of a soft kind person.
This year the oldest daughter who in a way is now closer to Phil will spend the time with her family (2 small children and husband) and their friends and family (coming from London her husband has lots of both). So Hazel (youngest) was upset that Phil might be on his own and got him an invite at her boyfriend's for Christmas Day. Phil is not really looking forward to this as during the year he had a very messy breakup with a very strange lady one he realises he should never have got linked with in the first place. He spent last Chirstmas with her and New year and it was a disaster so he wanted this year to be alone quiet and be reflective but did not have the heart to turn Hazel down.
Compromise is that Hazel will come to him on Christmas Eve he will cook Christmas dinner to serve that night at about 6.00pm. This continues the family tradition when Hazel was young of serving the meal the day before so that Christmas Day was family time of opening presents and enjoying them. This I think again will be special and Hazel needs it to start really bonding again as an adult with Phil. They are not estranged but there is somewhat of a barrier there.
Phil has a rotten cold so he will decide on Christmas Day whether he joins Hazel or not at the Boyfriend's parents or she may go there alone. In a way the cold is probably a blessing in disguise as it gives him a legitimate reason to bow out if he wishes to.
Regarding our Christmas he came round last night and we exchanged gifts he may come round next week for a day/evening depends really on how his cold is and how he feels emotitonally he may just wish to spend a fews days at home quiet and reflective.
He has to work one day as his office is open between Christmas and the New Year but there are 3 in the Department so they are all taking turns at doing just one day.
You know I do recall the timing of your mom's death..BUT due to the time differential between here & England, it was Christmas Eve here.. I need to get that straight.
And I do understand what you mean re: mom being gone already..my years as a hospital chaplain & working with the ethics committee, it was always challenging to have folks understand on their own, what life is etc. I have always felt we try to hard to keep a body alive at any cost.. NOW, if the mind & spirit are there, great..but too often I observed the relatives REALLY didn't care about the person, just wanted the Social Security check that was part of them remaining alive. Sad, isn't it.
I already have DNR, living will, power of attorney etc documents signed. I do not want to be sustained if "I am gone" more or less.
Will be interesting to see how it unfolds for Phil. I am sure he appreciates you all the more since he had a relationship w/crazy lady...sometimes we don't really appreciate what we have until we have opportunity to see the dark side of "what else" is out there.
Need to bathe & get some things done.. you have next two days /pings.. I will be posting a few things both days along the way.
Morocco.. In movie Babel was 1/3 story line in Morocco.. some positive observations desite the poverty & primitive life depicted in movie. This was a rural area/not big city.
I am seeing The Nativity tonight, finally.. with my friend Paul..close family friend for close to 20 years. Never married, retired Chemistry teacher.
Saw Rocky Balboa this past week. Fun (I don't like boxing much however) ..but have always enjoyed his flicks & this one for some reason resonated well with me..
I am guessing your package did NOT arrive yet? It was supposed to be there by Christmas..I paid accordingly. UPS. Sent to work addy. I did recieve the two books yesterday.. thank you! great recipes in the one & ideas/info in other.