[Detroit] Lions news is bad news

realfootball365.com ^ | December 12, 2006 | Os Davis

[SunkenCiv]

...With a record of 2-11, the silver-and-Honolulu blue are firmly entrenched at No. 32 on any power poll in this spiral arm of the galaxy. Entrenched, that is, until another loss drops them behind Ohio State, Florida and the Hamburg Sea Devils. Think it can't get worse? Hey, this is the Lions. NFL schedule makers saw fit to arrange the endgame Kitty Cats' so, so long season likewise: at the Green Bay Packers where the Lions haven't won since a guy named Brett Favre took over there (that's right, 1992); against the Chicago Bears in a game which figures to see Motor City backers immortalize the chant "Fire *&#!!%&ing Millen!"; and at the Dallas Cowboys , who on New Year's Eve will probably looking to bag the No. 2 seed in the NFC... Kevin Jones, who was knocked out of the loss to the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday, figures to be out for the remainder of the season... Pro Bowl nominee Shaun Rogers... was slapped by the commissioner after testing positive for steroids. The judgment had Rogers forcibly sitting out four games and giving up $250,000. Naturally, "Big Baby" was innocent, protesting that the positive test represented a product that the 354-pound Rogers used to help him control his weight. Or he has asthma. Or he thought they were Shawne Merriman's Pez. Or something... Team officials announced yesterday that WR Mike Williams - you remember him: the former first-round draft pick cum The Most Useless Player in the NFL Today - flunked a weigh-in. At 240 pounds, Williams only missed the target set by Rod Marinelli and Co. by 20. Though no punitive measures have been mentioned, any punishment would seem pointless other then some quality time on the bench... Fire &#!!%&ing Millen.

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preseason:
Fri 8/12 Cincinnati Bengals Cincinnati (0-0) W 34 - 3
Fri 8/19 Cleveland Browns at Cleveland (0-0) W 30 - 28
Sat 8/27 New England Patriots New England (0-0) W 34 - 10
Thu 9/1 Buffalo Bills at Buffalo (0-0) W 16 - 6

Last time they did that well in preseason, the Lions went 0-16. :’)

[SunkenCiv]

Regular season games — the Lions have won seven straight going back into last season; counting preseason, eleven straight.

What a comeback!

Naturally, I just missed their best late stuff as I swung into some stores on the way home, and during a five minute (no more than that) run into Mennard’s (found what I needed, thanks for asking) found that they’d won the game in OT, five plays, 58 yards.

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I’ve been saying (not around here) that the Bills are no joke, and maybe people who know me in real life will listen to me now.

When I saw that they’d mounted a comeback and were within seven points, I figured the day wasn’t over.

Cheatin’ Bill Belichick’s Patriots lose to the Buffalo Bills, 34-31!

The ‘Niners are going to make that division interesting. Big turnaround story there.

When the Redskins beat Dallas Monday night, what will people say then?

The Browns edged the Dolphins. I don’t think either team will have that great a season, but both will play hard the whole way.

The Eagles and Falcons are going to crash and burn this season.

The Lions season is one I’m not going to take the time to predict at all, other than to say, they need to win their home games (one down, seven to go), and win three on the road (they’ve got two already, including one within the division) to win NFC Wild Card, maybe via tiebreakers; if they win four on the road, chances are they’ll win the division.

[SunkenCiv]

Week Nine (Lions had their bye week):

American Football Conference - 2011 Regular Season
AFC East Team	W	L	T	Pct	PF	PA	Net Pts	TD	Home	Road	Div	Pct	Conf	Pct	Non-Conf	Streak
New England Patriots	5	3	0	.625	222	184	38	26	3-1	2-2	2-1	.667	4-2	.667	1-1	2L	3-2
New York Jets	5	3	0	.625	199	163	36	23	4-0	1-3	2-1	.667	4-3	.571	1-0	3W	3-2
Buffalo Bills	5	3	0	.625	222	174	48	26	4-1	1-2	1-1	.500	3-2	.600	2-1	1L	2-3
Miami Dolphins	1	7	0	.125	138	169	-31	13	0-3	1-4	0-2	.000	1-6	.143	0-1	1W	1-4
AFC North Team	W	L	T	Pct	PF	PA	Net Pts	TD	Home	Road	Div	Pct	Conf	Pct	Non-Conf	Streak
Cincinnati Bengals	6	2	0	.750	195	140	55	21	2-1	4-1	1-0	1.000	5-1	.833	1-1	5W	5-0
Baltimore Ravens	6	2	0	.750	208	130	78	21	4-0	2-2	2-0	1.000	4-2	.667	2-0	2W	4-1
Pittsburgh Steelers	6	3	0	.667	196	162	34	21	4-1	2-2	0-2	.000	4-3	.571	2-0	1L	4-1
Cleveland Browns	3	5	0	.375	119	170	-51	12	2-2	1-3	0-1	.000	2-4	.333	1-1	2L	1-4
AFC South Team	W	L	T	Pct	PF	PA	Net Pts	TD	Home	Road	Div	Pct	Conf	Pct	Non-Conf	Streak
Houston Texans	6	3	0	.667	236	157	79	26	4-1	2-2	3-0	1.000	6-2	.750	0-1	3W	3-2
Tennessee Titans	4	4	0	.500	156	169	-13	18	3-2	1-2	1-2	.333	4-4	.500	0-0	1L	2-3
Jacksonville Jaguars	2	6	0	.250	98	163	-65	8	2-2	0-4	1-1	.500	2-4	.333	0-2	1L	1-4
Indianapolis Colts	0	9	0	.000	128	283	-155	14	0-4	0-5	0-2	.000	0-6	.000	0-3	9L	0-5
AFC West Team	W	L	T	Pct	PF	PA	Net Pts	TD	Home	Road	Div	Pct	Conf	Pct	Non-Conf	Streak
San Diego Chargers	4	4	0	.500	199	204	-5	21	3-1	1-3	2-1	.667	3-3	.500	1-1	3L	2-3
Kansas City Chiefs	4	4	0	.500	131	201	-70	14	2-2	2-2	2-1	.667	3-3	.500	1-1	1L	4-1
Oakland Raiders	4	4	0	.500	184	216	-32	21	2-3	2-1	1-2	.333	4-4	.500	0-0	2L	2-3
Denver Broncos	3	5	0	.375	171	224	-53	21	1-3	2-2	1-2	.333	3-3	.500	0-2	1W	2-3
National Football Conference - 2011 Regular Season
NFC East Team	W	L	T	Pct	PF	PA	Net Pts	TD	Home	Road	Div	Pct	Conf	Pct	Non-Conf	Streak
New York Giants	6	2	0	.750	198	184	14	25	3-1	3-1	1-1	.500	3-2	.600	3-0	3W	4-1
Dallas Cowboys	4	4	0	.500	179	175	4	17	3-1	1-3	1-1	.500	4-2	.667	0-2	1W	2-3
Philadelphia Eagles	3	4	0	.429	179	152	27	20	1-2	2-2	2-1	.667	3-3	.500	0-1	2W	2-3
Washington Redskins	3	5	0	.375	127	158	-31	13	2-2	1-3	1-2	.333	3-4	.429	0-1	4L	1-4
NFC North Team	W	L	T	Pct	PF	PA	Net Pts	TD	Home	Road	Div	Pct	Conf	Pct	Non-Conf	Streak
Green Bay Packers	8	0	0	1.000	275	179	96	33	3-0	5-0	2-0	1.000	6-0	1.000	2-0	8W	5-0
Detroit Lions	6	2	0	.750	239	147	92	27	2-2	4-0	2-0	1.000	4-2	.667	2-0	1W	3-2
Chicago Bears	4	3	0	.571	170	150	20	18	3-1	1-2	1-2	.333	4-3	.571	0-0	2W	3-2
Minnesota Vikings	2	6	0	.250	172	199	-27	19	1-3	1-3	0-3	.000	2-4	.333	0-2	1W	2-3
NFC South Team	W	L	T	Pct	PF	PA	Net Pts	TD	Home	Road	Div	Pct	Conf	Pct	Non-Conf	Streak
New Orleans Saints	6	3	0	.667	287	205	82	33	4-0	2-3	2-1	.667	3-3	.500	3-0	1W	3-2
Atlanta Falcons	5	3	0	.625	189	170	19	22	2-1	3-2	1-1	.500	4-3	.571	1-0	3W	4-1
Tampa Bay Buccaneers	4	4	0	.500	147	196	-49	14	3-2	1-2	2-1	.667	3-4	.429	1-0	2L	2-3
Carolina Panthers	2	6	0	.250	187	207	-20	21	2-3	0-3	0-2	.000	1-6	.143	1-0	1L	1-4
NFC West Team	W	L	T	Pct	PF	PA	Net Pts	TD	Home	Road	Div	Pct	Conf	Pct	Non-Conf	Streak
San Francisco 49ers	7	1	0	.875	206	118	88	21	3-1	4-0	1-0	1.000	5-1	.833	2-0	6W	5-0
Seattle Seahawks	2	6	0	.250	122	185	-63	13	1-2	1-4	1-1	.500	2-3	.400	0-3	3L	1-4
Arizona Cardinals	2	6	0	.250	162	196	-34	20	2-2	0-4	1-1	.500	2-4	.333	0-2	1W	1-4
St. Louis Rams	1	7	0	.125	100	211	-111	9	1-3	0-4	0-1	.000	1-6	.143	0-1	1L	1-4

[SunkenCiv]

Garbage (W)rapper Press’ Brian VanOchten got excoriated in a letter to the editor over his alleged Lions cheerleading in his column, and in the same edition he said, basically , forget about the Lions in the playoffs.

http://www.mlive.com/sports/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2011/12/nfl_preview_week_13_schedule_d.html

He points out that last five games for the Lions have to yield up three wins for the Lions to have ten wins on the season (and eleven may be needed).

The rageaholic and lousy driver N. Suh got thrown out of the T-giving game, and that probably cost the Lions a victory against a (now) still-undefeated Packers. His two game suspension will either cost the Lions two more games, or the otherwise battered defense will prove that it’s for real, even without Suh.

VanOchten also pointed out that the Bears (same division; Lions have split with ‘em this season) and Falcons (Lions defeat) both have easier schedules and better records, and will probably wind up with the NFC wild card.

I would like to point out that KANSAS CITY — whaaat?!? — beat the Bears today, in Soldier Field! And the Houston Texans extended their winning streak by pulling the Falcons’ pants down on TV (this is within the context of the Peter Principle).

All the Lions have to do is beat the Saints. Is that too much to ask? :’)

[SunkenCiv]

This is a must-win for the Lions, not to make the playoffs, but to let assert themselves as a professional football team capable of GETTING TO .500. A-holes. I’m so sick of this, year after year, decade after decade.

Then pick which two of their remaining three (message 249, this msg is in reply to it; Chargers, Raiders Packers) games they’ll win in hopes of making the NFC wild card. Ideally, they’d win all three (and knock the Peckers out of undefeated status — assuming the Raiders don’t do it first ;’), finish 11-5, and go to the playoffs. Right now they’re tied with the Bears and Falcons, and a game up on the Giants.

Chicago plays Denver, then has to face Seattle, Green Bay, and Minnesota. They’ll split these I think, beating Seattle and Minnesota (at least).

The Falcons face Carolina, Jacksonville, New Orleans, and Tampa Bay, and probably have a shot at beating all of them, including the Saints. More likely they’ll win just two. And they’ll have the tiebreaker over the Lions.

IOW, it’s just barely possible that the Lions could go as NFC wildcard with a 10-6 record. They will probably need (at minimum) 11 wins, as I noted back when they were 5-0 and needed only six more effin’ wins.

Of course, they could finish the season 7-9, and it wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

I’m so sick of this, year after year, decade after decade. Imagine — I’m really just rooting for them to NOT have a losing season by finishing 8-8. If they could win two effin’ games and finish 9-7, that would mark their first winning season since (brace yourself) 2000, which was also a 9-7 season, and it sez they finished 4th in their division that year.

You probably remember the 2000 season — the hillbilly Bobby Ross coached them to a screaming 5-4 record, and resigned after game nine. Gary Moeller, as ass’t coach, went 4-3 in his seven games as interim coach, then was dumped by football genius Matt Millen.

Vikings At Lions Score Update: Titus Young Puts Detroit On The Board Again
Dec 11 12:25p by Christopher Gates
http://minnesota.sbnation.com/minnesota-vikings/2011/12/11/2628281/vikings-at-lions-score-update-titus-young-puts-detroit-on-the-board

[snip] So, with 9:45 left in the first quarter at Ford Field, the Vikings have already turned the ball over twice and find themselves trailing the Detroit Lions by a score of 14-0. [snip]

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It’s 4th q, Lions have a six point lead, last score of theirs was a FG; Vikings are driving again.

http://minnesota.sbnation.com/minnesota-vikings/2011/12/10/2626578/vikings-vs-lions-preview-score-christian-ponder

http://minnesota.sbnation.com/

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http://www.mlive.com/lions/index.ssf/2011/12/drive-by-drive_analysis_for_mi.html

7:47 - 3:32: The best thing Detroit’s offense did was pick up one third-down conversion and hold the ball for more than four minutes. On third-and-2, Young makes a diving 1-yard grab at the Lions’ 45-yard line, and head coach Jim Schwartz elects to punt.

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• Detroit Lions 34, Minnesota 28: Wild final play lifts Lions to 8-5 | Detroit Free Press

Alas, the Falcons managed to pull out a victory, so they keep pace with the Lions. Denver's a slight favorite over Chicago.

[SunkenCiv]

Detroit Lions beat Oakland Raiders 28-27, Lions go to 9-5, keep pace with Atlanta.

I was joking when I said Chiefs over Packers, and look what happened!

The significant games though were continued losing streaks of the Bears and Giants.

I don’t see the Falcons losing any more games, but after the upsets (and near upsets) we saw today, I won’t rule it out, either!

[dfwgator]

How do you like us now!!!!

Playoff-bound, baby!!!

[SunkenCiv]

If they can win their first playoff game since 1991 (and that one was the first since 1957 I think), I’ll be even more impressed. They’ve tortured us since week six.

[dfwgator]

What a great day that was in 1991, here in Dallas seeing all the sad Cowboys fans after the Lions torched the Cowboys.

[SunkenCiv]

That was great.

[dfwgator]

I think the Lions can make it at least to the NFC Title Game.

The key is to avoid the dumb penalties....if they can do that, they will be a handful for whomever they play, and Stafford is one of the best QBs going right now.

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That was a mighty clean game last night; it was really too bad that it didn’t wind up being the 11th game of the season with no turnovers, that’s unusual — but right after that was mentioned, two in a row. :’)

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The Lions were not as bad as their miserable Loss/Win record, their average margin of loss was really small. If the bastards could cover a kickoff effectively, and not have to kick a field goal because they can’t score from the red zone, they’d have won almost all their games this season.

Link to my “psychic” prediction of 2008:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/1752340/posts?page=90#90

NFL players should be given a base rate (for warming the bench) and then get paid based on number of plays, with additions for actual measurable success and deductions for actual measurable screwups. And it should be federal law. And if the players association (what a ridiculous concept!) doesn’t like it, they can quit football and go out and get jobs.

http://www.mlive.com/lions/index.ssf/2013/01/detroit_lions_want_to_rework_q.html

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As noted the other day, the Black ‘n’ Blue division had an undefeated Bears team in the lead; the Lions in second at 2:1; the Packers with a losing records at 1:2; and the Vikings winless at 0:3, iow, one of the seven seals just got opened.

Reggie Bush carries Lions past Jay Cutler, turnover-plagued Bears
http://espn.go.com/chicago/nfl/recap?gameId=330929008

NFL standings:
http://www.nfl.com/standings

Lions are 3:1 in the conference, 2:0 in the division, and are still listed second because, hey, everyone sez FU to Detroit, 24/7. Vikings got a win today (slightly favored against the Steelers, beat them in London UK), Packers have their bye this week, leading into their first meeting with Detroit, which will win on the road. :’)

[SunkenCiv]

Who the HELL is doing the offensive play calling?!?

[SunkenCiv]

Nice late penalty, start making some sense.

You remember that series “Boss”, in which Kelsey Grammer portrayed a politician or something who was trying to hold on while hiding his degenerative mental condition? I bring that up for absolutely no reason at all. In no way am I trying to draw an analogy between that character and Jim Schwartz.