Posted on 11/27/2006 12:50:41 PM PST by Arec Barrwin
Romo realigns the stars
Bob Frantz, The Examiner
Nov 27, 2006 3:00 AM (9 hrs ago)
SAN FRANCISCO - Damn you, Tony Romo! Damn you straight to hell! Do you have any idea what kind of damage you’ve done? Do you?
Everything was going according to plan, you know. The implosion of the NFL’s version of the New York Yankees was imminent and Drew Bledsoe was seeing to it personally. Veins were popping on the three most despicable faces of America’s (Most Hated) Team with every interception, incompletion and immobilization. And the simultaneous eruption of egos in Texas Stadium was going to leave a mushroom cloud over Dallas to be seen for miles.
You see, every Bledsoe mistake moved the clinically insane Terrell Owens one step closer to giving him the “Garcia-McNabb” treatment, which Amnesty International ranks just above water-boarding on the scale of torture for NFL quarterbacks.
And with every sign of Owens’ impending explosion, Cowboys coach Bill Parcells moved ever closer to physically assaulting some poor Dallas beat reporter who asked about No. 81 one too many times — on live television.
And with every indication that the Tuna was growing more and more agitated about having to be the master of Jerry Jones’ three-ring circus, the Dallas owner’s plastic face began to melt like a box of crayons in the hot Texas sun.
The stars were all aligned, you see. The three-way collision that awaited Owens, Parcells, and Jones would have decimated the hated Cowboys franchise, leaving Skeletor Jones stuck with an untradable, overpriced, nap-taking, pill-popping wide receiver and a detestable, egomaniacal head coach who wants nothing to do with him.
And then along came Romo.
Yes, along came Tony Romo, with his sparkling resume written in invisible ink and his barbecue-restaurant-sounding name, suddenly playing the role of Roger Staubach meets Troy Aikman on steroids.
The Division I-AA product from mighty Eastern Illinois has ruined the party for all of us who were watching the Dallas soap opera as if we were waiting for the thermometer to pop on Thursday’s Thanksgiving turkey. Five starts, four wins, nearly 1,400 yards with 10 touchdowns and two interceptions.
The kid doesn’t miss. He’s finding the mark with 71 percent of his passes and he’s showing the same poise under pressure that once made Roger the artful Dodger. He’s got the respect of his teammates and the support of his coach, and suddenly there will be no eruption in Texas.
Suddenly T.O.’s happy. That makes me sad. You know, sometimes you actually root for miserable human beings to remain miserable — just to bring a little justice to the world.
Suddenly the Tuna’s at ease. That makes me upset. Because sometimes you root for ornery, obnoxious human beings to remain ornery and obnoxious — just to make sure they’re not sleeping well at night.
And suddenly, Skeletor’s face is holding firm and that makes me nervous. Yes, sometimes you root for vain billionaires to melt in the sun, rather than basking in the glow of peace in their worlds — just because they deserve it.
America’s (Most Hated) team is rolling again, looking more and more like the only true challengers to the Bears’ supremacy in the NFC.
Damn you, Tony Romo. Damn you to hell.
Examiner
LOL
I wish the author would tell us how he REALLY feels lol.
Dallas. Where the deer and the antelope Romo....
The best thing about TR is he keeps TO out of the news.
As an Eagles fan, the fact that he's so good is absolute torture. I was hoping Bledsoe would last the season, T.O. would get frustrated with him, and Parcells would take an early vacation.
Now they look like the best team in the NFC, and T.O. looks pleased as punch.
I agree with the author: "D@mn you Tony Romo!"
I'm soooo loving this, and I'm really not even that much of a Cowboys fan.
Hubba Hubbah!
After the Giants' collapse yesterday the Cowboys are a shoe-in to win the NFC East and have a good shot at a bye in the first round of the playoffs. They seem to be peaking at just the right time. Is Romo for real? We'll see over the next two months whether he is the new Kurt Warner or just another Scott Mitchell on a hot streak.
Then the fact that this writer is miserable, is a good thing, right?
a few wins and everybody is ready to anoint him as the next joe montana and the cowboys as the super bowl favorite. its pretty funny.
I guess the 49ers have it all wrapped up, and this guy needs to comment on other folks.
I always love a "savior" after 5 games.
The Romo love fest in the Metroplex is a bit much. Somehow, I have a feeling that there will be a few road bumps in the near future, as opposing teams study more film.
Still, he's been a spark to the team, and has shown a quick release and an ability to evade the rush.
Maybe the "Romo-mentum" will add to the market value of my house in Valley Ranch.
I wouldn't call them a shoe-in yet. They're 1 game up with 5 left and the Giants holding the tie-breakers. If they beat the Giants next week then they're a shoe-in (2 games up with 4 left, but still the bad side of the divisional record tie-breaker), but if the Giants pull it off it turns into a crazy horserace.
The best thing about Romo is the corny lines you can make with his name. Romomentum. Romo wasn't built in a day. It's time to get Romomantic. And so on.
I'm pro "Romomo your boat".
I was liking all the various permutations of The Greatest Kicker In The Known Universe's name.
Like Parcells said on Thursday, we all need to put the annointing oil away. But it is nice to see them win...
Ha! I love this piece and agree with every word. Damn you Tony Romo!
Well that's exactly what Parcells is saying in his press conferences, he is trying to downplay Romo as much as possible.
I do think Romo is a very serviceable quarterback, and he gives a talented group of receivers a chance to do things, they can't do with Bledsoe in there. What makes a huge difference is having Whitten as a viable receiver again, instead of having to use him for pass blocking to protect Bledsoe. I think that fact alone is responsible for much of Romo's success.
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