Posted on 11/17/2006 1:20:37 AM PST by sully777
My husband has some rare Beastie Boys stuff he wants to put on Ebay, but we haven't had the time....
The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 250 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.
The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the doctor.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right... but I'll stick with my Moped!"
Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the Speedometer reads 150 mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear View mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what It could be and suddenly. WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster!
"What on earth could be Going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself. He floors the Accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 175 mph. Then, up ahead of Him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped! Amazed that the Moped Could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 210 Mph. WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH!
He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the Old man gaining on him AGAIN! Astounded by the speed of his old guy, he floors the gas pedal and Takes the Ferrari all the way up to 250 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do! Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.
The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old Man is still alive. He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh My Gosh! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers, "Unhook my suspenders from your side view Mirror.
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "But how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You've made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now, it's MY fault.
Yup, I had a great collection of Mustangs when I was a kid, who knows whatever happened to them.
is it hazelnut?
Yes.
Rockwellian nostalgia and silliness, all wrapped up in a flag!
crud, pic didn't post. It was Sea Monkeys.
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