Daily Grin: 40 Things That Only Happen In Movies

Nealz Nuze | November 13, 2006

[Bringbackthedraft]

41. The bad guys don't shoot straight and always shoot in the open.

[Rb ver. 2.0]

As a general rule, a good guy with a 9mm pistol is better than five guys with banana clip full-autos. Twenty guys if you're Arnold Schwartzenhegger or Sylvester Stallone.

[trisham]

23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

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LOL! Funny post, thanks.

[CholeraJoe]

31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

I watched Sandra Bernhard try this once. No workee.

[theDentist]

42. When runnning away from danger, the woman will always trip, fall, and be unable to get up. (If they somehow escape, they're walking just fine 2 minutes later, clothes and hair perfect, and they don't need to gasp for breath).

[subterfuge]

37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.

Not only that, but in a movie, you can actually STOP playing any instrument but it magically keeps on playing!! Amazing!

[Dixie Yooper]

I watched Sandra Bernhard try this once. No workee

I remember a movie(Jumping Jack Flash maybe?)some time ago where they tried this with Woopi Goldberg. Everyone in the movie kept telling her how beautiful she was. I had to quit watching for fear of sex scenes.

[Plutarch]

If a gas tanker truck is seen, rest assured that it will eventually blow up in a fiery inferno.

[Ragtop]

No matter how fast you run, an insane killer will catch up to you by walking a slow, steady, menacing pace.

[Dixie Yooper]

As a general rule, a good guy with a 9mm pistol is better than five guys with banana clip full-autos

The greatest of all time at this was Frank Cannon and his snub-nose 38cal.

[JockoManning]

Cute. Thanks for the laugh.

This one: 15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).

33 too.

[MainFrame65]

" // 37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.

Not only that, but in a movie, you can actually STOP playing any instrument but it magically keeps on playing!! Amazing! //"

Don't laugh. The military uses those at funerals for old veterans.

[DungeonMaster]

26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.

"From Hell" is one notable exception. The hos in that movie were dirty and homely and diseased.

[Varda]

Add...women in martial arts or fist fights are stronger, faster and more skilled than men.

[Sybeck1]

All female members of law enforcement are not only beauty queens, they are quite easy.

[Lokibob]

Cowboys never use the bathroom nor water the shrubs. Their horses never pee either.

[Mad Dawg]

14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard .

Except for the Hot part, I think that's because food is ALWAYS being consumed and coffee cups are always on the dashboard. I thought police cruisers came with doughnuts pre-installed.

[MamaTexan]

Why do the people hunting nocturnal bogeymen always wait until dusk to begin?

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(okay, I know there isn't a real life parallel, but that just always seemed really stupid to me. :-)

[relictele]

-Any unassuming cat spotted in the first half of the film will become a shrieking, red-herring surprise to the protagonist in the second half of the film.

-Any Whodunit usually has very little mystery involved: Hollywood is cheap and speaking parts cost money due to SAG/Equity rules.