[Bringbackthedraft]

41. The bad guys don't shoot straight and always shoot in the open.

[Rb ver. 2.0]

As a general rule, a good guy with a 9mm pistol is better than five guys with banana clip full-autos. Twenty guys if you're Arnold Schwartzenhegger or Sylvester Stallone.

[trisham]

23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

*************

LOL! Funny post, thanks.

[CholeraJoe]

31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

I watched Sandra Bernhard try this once. No workee.

[theDentist]

42. When runnning away from danger, the woman will always trip, fall, and be unable to get up. (If they somehow escape, they're walking just fine 2 minutes later, clothes and hair perfect, and they don't need to gasp for breath).

[subterfuge]

37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.

Not only that, but in a movie, you can actually STOP playing any instrument but it magically keeps on playing!! Amazing!

[Plutarch]

If a gas tanker truck is seen, rest assured that it will eventually blow up in a fiery inferno.

[Ragtop]

No matter how fast you run, an insane killer will catch up to you by walking a slow, steady, menacing pace.

[JockoManning]

Cute. Thanks for the laugh.

This one: 15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).

33 too.

[DungeonMaster]

26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.

"From Hell" is one notable exception. The hos in that movie were dirty and homely and diseased.

[Varda]

Add...women in martial arts or fist fights are stronger, faster and more skilled than men.

[Sybeck1]

All female members of law enforcement are not only beauty queens, they are quite easy.

[Lokibob]

Cowboys never use the bathroom nor water the shrubs. Their horses never pee either.

[Mad Dawg]

14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard .

Except for the Hot part, I think that's because food is ALWAYS being consumed and coffee cups are always on the dashboard. I thought police cruisers came with doughnuts pre-installed.

[MamaTexan]

Why do the people hunting nocturnal bogeymen always wait until dusk to begin?

-----

(okay, I know there isn't a real life parallel, but that just always seemed really stupid to me. :-)

[relictele]

-Any unassuming cat spotted in the first half of the film will become a shrieking, red-herring surprise to the protagonist in the second half of the film.

-Any Whodunit usually has very little mystery involved: Hollywood is cheap and speaking parts cost money due to SAG/Equity rules.

[relictele]

-Any unassuming cat spotted in the first half of the film will become a shrieking, red-herring surprise to the protagonist in the second half of the film.

-Any Whodunit usually has very little mystery involved: Hollywood is cheap and speaking parts cost money due to SAG/Equity rules.

[cowboyway]

Computers always talk.

Little runts like Tom Cruise and Leonardo DiRetardo are as tall as everyone else.

Even the worst wounds heal overnight, or by the next scene.

[Nea Wood]

Women wake up in the morning with all of their makeup, including lipstick, looking perfect.

Even when kidnapped and tied up for a long time, people never need to go to the bathroom.

People's houses or apartments are always much nicer than what their salaries would actually be able to buy them. Even a struggling actress or waitress has a really fabulous apartment.

Women take off their clothes twice as often as men do.

The more wacky and zany a woman is, and the more trouble she causes to a guy, the more irresistible he finds her.

The guy with blond hair and blue eyes is almost always a mean, nasty person. (Women, however, are allowed to be blonde and blue-eyed and still good guys.)

[TheBigB]

In any and all horror films, having sex = death.

The SCREAM franchise played this perfectly.