Briton hurt after lighting firecracker in buttocks

MSNBC via AP ^ | 11/10/06

[dinoparty]

Scorched Colon. That must be REALLY REALLY painful.

I suppose the guy who drank the entire large bottle of Tobasco on a dare at a local restaurant a couple years ago might have gotten this diagnosis the next day.

[mtairycitizen]

Did any reporter ask him what he thought about the election results? Hey that ask everybody else?

[Mr. Brightside]

I saw Benny Hill do this in a skit once about 30 years ago

Benny Hill? Or Benny Hinn?

[Lorianne]

I am writing this post to say I do not know what to say.

[N. Theknow]

Bet that's the last time he follows someone's advice to "blow it out his a$$."

[gesully]

Could get him a role in Jackass!

[Obadiah]

Ohhhhh...LOL!

[HitmanLV]

I don't buy it. I have read several Benny Hill bios - 'Saucy Boy' (by his brother), 'The Strange & Saucy World of Benny Hill' (by his best friend, producer, and director Dennis Kirkland), and the borderline hatchet-job 'Funny, Peculiar' by Mark Lewison.

Each book covers the innuendo of homosexuality when it came to Benny, but each book dismisses it. Best as I can tell, he had a handful of female companions in his life but he had a very immature view of romance. Through his adult years, he really thought it should be like it is in the movies, and was continuously devastated when it never worked out that way.

Benny was basically a loner who definitely liked women, but never could connect with one emotionally for a variety of reasons, and there's no real evidence homosexuality was one of those reasons.

In fact, there is some smoke, and certainly a little fire, that he indulged in sexual romps with some beauties on his show. Evidently a handful came forward over the years that it wasn't unusual for a babe to vanish into Benny's room and 'be nice to Uncle Benny,' usually a euphemism for fellating him.

While these stories surfaced now and then, most of the women who knew and worked with Benny defended him and had extraordinary loyalty to him, though avoiding answering the question if they had ever been nice to Uncle Benny in that way, themselves.

Benny was certainly a loser in love and fairly immature when it came to sex, but I don;t think he was gay, or bisexual for that matter. Benny loved women, he just had a hard time holding up his end of an adult romance. Sad, but not unlike many of the great comedians.

[nonsporting]

Not "buttocks", but rather "Farthole." (If the term was good enough for Dante, ...)

[GoldCountryRedneck]

Sounds like that stunt really rect 'em....

[F.J. Mitchell]

Severely constipated people often joke about having to use dynamite, if they don't go soon.

Apparently it doesn't work well in practice.

[F.J. Mitchell]

LOL! of course he would have to do it all over again for the cameras.

[lastchance]

He didn't have cable so he had to make his own fun.

[Cyclopean Squid]

pusillanimity is my fave

[Mr Ramsbotham]

I agree. I love the fact that it seems plural. What's proper: "My buttocks DOES hurt?", or "My buttocks DO hurt?"

No, I believe it is plural. One of them is a buttock; the two of them together are buttocks. In fact, I'm inclined to think that "buttock" is the second funniest word in the English language.

[Mr Ramsbotham]

They told him not to eat the chili.

[Dumb_Ox]

"Fireworks night, so we join the citizens in their fawning celebration of a brave and good man's death. In our family we always let off our fireworks in celebration of the attempt to blow up Parliament, rather than its failure, and we have never had an accident. If ever the Vatican requires evidence of divine intervention before raising Guy Fawkes, Soldier and Martyr, to the celestial company of canonised saints, it has only to look to the hundreds of men, women and children blinded and disfigured every year in their attempts to mock him.

"If only the Jesuits realised how the aims of St. Guy Fawkes coincided with those of nearly everybody alive today, they might drop their pathetic, cringing attempts to deny that he every existed and actively promote the cause." -Auberon Waugh, Diaries, Nov. 5 1974

[EX52D]

Rect'em, almost killed 'em! ;)

[Malacoda]

I wouldn't know -- I'm guessing, "NO."

However, I'm betting burning it adds just that vomitrocious edge.

[Maceman]

There was a young fellow, a Briton
Who said to his mates: “It’s a tight one.
“But if I persevere
And just hold it right here,
I'll bet I can manage to light one.”