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Text of Ted Haggard's Letter to New Life
The Gazetter ^ | November 5, 2006 | Ted Haggard

Posted on 11/05/2006 1:05:02 PM PST by sonrise57

To my New Life Church family:

I am so sorry. I am sorry for the disappointment, the betrayal, and the hurt. I am sorry for the horrible example I have set for you.

I have an overwhelming, all-consuming sadness in my heart for the pain that you and I and my family have experienced over the past few days. I am so sorry for the circumstances that have caused shame and embarrassment to all of you.

I asked that this note be read to you this morning so I could clarify my heart's condition to you. The last four days have been so difficult for me, my family and all of you, and I have further confused the situation with some of the things I've said during interviews with reporters who would catch me coming or going from my home. But I alone am responsible for the confusion caused by my inconsistent statements. The fact is, I am guilty of sexual immorality, and I take responsibility for the entire problem.

I am a deceiver and a liar. There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life.

For extended periods of time, I would enjoy victory and rejoice in freedom. Then, from time to time, the dirt that I thought was gone would resurface, and I would find myself thinking thoughts and experiencing desires that were contrary to everything I believe and teach.



Through the years, I've sought assistance in a variety of ways, with none of them proving to be effective in me. Then, because of pride, I began deceiving those I love the most because I didn't want to hurt or disappoint them.

The public person I was wasn't a lie; it was just incomplete. When I stopped communicating about my problems, the darkness increased and finally dominated me. As a result, I did things that were contrary to everything I believe.

The accusations that have been leveled against me are not all true, but enough of them are true that I have been appropriately and lovingly removed from ministry. Our church's overseers have required me to submit to the oversight of Dr. James Dobson, Pastor Jack Hayford, and Pastor Tommy Barnett. Those men will perform a thorough analysis of my mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical life. They will guide me through a program with the goal of healing and restoration for my life, my marriage, and my family.

I created this entire situation. The things that I did opened the door for additional allegations . But I am responsible; I alone need to be disciplined and corrected. An example must be set.

It is important that you know how much I love and appreciate my wife, Gayle. What I did should never reflect in a negative way on her relationship with me. She has been and continues to be incredible. The problem is not with her, my children or any of you. It was created 100 percent by me.

I have been permanently removed from the office of Senior Pastor of New Life Church. Until a new senior pastor is chosen, our Associate Senior Pastor Ross Parsley will assume all of the the responsibilities of the office. On the day he accepted this new role, he and his wife, Aimee, had a new baby boy. A new life in the midst of this circumstance - I consider the confluence of events to be prophetic. Please commit to join with Pastor Ross and the others in church leadership to make their service to you easy and without burden. They are fine leaders. You are blessed.

I appreciate your loving and forgiving nature, and I humbly ask you to do a few things.

1.) Please stay faithful to God through service and giving.

2.) Please forgive me. I am so embarrassed and ashamed. I caused this and I have no excuse. I am a sinner. I have fallen. I desperately need to be forgiven and healed.

3.) Please forgive my accuser. He is revealing the deception and sensuality that was in my life. Those sins, and others, need to be dealt with harshly. So, forgive him and, actually, thank God for him. I am trusting that his action will make me, my wife and family, and ultimately all of you, stronger. He didn't violate you; I did.

4.) Please stay faithful to each other. Perform your functions well. Encourage each other and rejoice in God's faithfulness. Our church body is a beautiful body, and like every family, our strength is tested and proven in the midst of adversity. Because of the negative publicity I've created with my foolishness, we can now demonstrate to the world how our sick and wounded can be healed, and how even disappointed and betrayed church bodies can prosper and rejoice.

Gayle and I need to be gone for a while. We will never return to a leadership role at New Life Church. In our hearts, we will always be members of this body. We love you as our family. I know this situation will put you to the test. I'm sorry I've created the test, but please rise to this challenge and demonstate the incredible grace that is available to all of us.

Ted Haggard


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KEYWORDS: evangelical; gay; haggard; newlife
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To: r9etb
Perhaps if you'd actually noticed that I playing little mr. spellcheck to my own post, you'd actually have learned something. Alas, you didn't.
41 posted on 11/05/2006 5:39:48 PM PST by F-117A (They say there is no such thing as an ex-Marine,.Murtha disproves that!!!)
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To: F-117A

I was also responding to the little grammar lesson on your first post. Alas.


42 posted on 11/05/2006 6:08:05 PM PST by r9etb
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To: r9etb
I was also responding to the little grammar lesson on your first post. Alas.

I had no concern with his poor grammar, per se. His poor grammar was simply an ironic parallel of his actions, putting himself before his family.

Sorry if that bothers you.

Peace!

43 posted on 11/05/2006 6:45:46 PM PST by F-117A (They say there is no such thing as an ex-Marine,.Murtha disproves that!!!)
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To: F-117A
What "bothers me" is the fact that you focused on that one phrase, rather than on the vast preponderance of his letter, wherein he admits, acknowledges, and takes full blame for his wrongdoing.

If you can't see the forest for the lichen on a single rock, then I guess you've got a problem of your own.

44 posted on 11/05/2006 7:05:11 PM PST by r9etb
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To: r9etb

I am more concerned with his actions.

If that bothers you, so be it!


45 posted on 11/05/2006 7:12:13 PM PST by F-117A (They say there is no such thing as an ex-Marine,.Murtha disproves that!!!)
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To: Guenevere
Thanks to you and to all who made positive and insightful Christian posts on this thread.

Christian believers know that God is aware of everything they think, do and say and that we all sin, just as Ted Haggard has.

To be a sinner is to be a liar, for all sin is born of the lie that we need something other than God.

When we sin, we cling to the lie, to deceive ourselves and others that our sin is not what it is.

The price of unrepentant sin is separation from God which is spiritual death.

This is the pain that Ted Haggard has been living with.

I pray that God will have mercy on him and heal him, his family and his congregation.

46 posted on 11/05/2006 7:38:19 PM PST by Bonaparte
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To: Zack Nguyen

More like the apology of a true Christian hypocrite...


47 posted on 11/06/2006 3:34:24 AM PST by slaymakerpowertape
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To: gusopol3

A straight man wouldn't be discounting his encounter with a male prostitute as 'just a massage.' This is a funny scandal.


48 posted on 11/06/2006 3:37:58 AM PST by slaymakerpowertape
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To: slaymakerpowertape

In what way?


49 posted on 11/06/2006 7:58:32 AM PST by Zack Nguyen
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To: sangfroid
that's what I am thinking too....

she's the biggest victim here,his children, that whole Church - I wonder how long it is till she files for divorce.

She must be disgusted at his double life, infidelity and hypocrisy.

50 posted on 11/06/2006 9:09:12 AM PST by SunnyUsa (No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.)
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To: Zack Nguyen

Anyone can say 'I am sorry,' 'I love you,' etc. But your feelings are only for you. Like a profession of love, an apology is meaningless without honorable actions or character.

I don't think it's necessary to go over the hypocrisy of this guy did. But after it had become obvious that he was thoroughly and totally busted, that it was indisputable that he had a relationship with a male prostitute from whom he had bought drugs, he lied pathetically about it. He was narcissistic enough to think that his church would remain loyal to him because of his false facade of virtue and his reputation. In an attempt to gain sympathy, he used his family as props.

In the disgustingly obsequious letter, the undercurrent of gross narcissism continues. He wants to "clarify [his] heart's condition." No one cares about that anymore. He portrays himself as a hapless victim of the repressed sexuality that somehow 'resurfaced.' He 'found himself' there, soliciting the prosititute. My heart goes out to him.

Still childishly and lamely defending himself, as if anyone cares, he says that some of the accusations aren't true, but doesn't bother specifying which ones. Behind the guilt, there is innocence, everyone! If he is going to call his accuser a liar, he must specify any false accusations. Otherwise, this is nothing but empty, defensive noise.

He tells us that some eminent men are going to restore his marriage through some kind of 'program.' Good luck to them with that.

He notes that the recent birth of a child to his replacement is, in fact, about him. This 'prophetic' babe was born to symbolize hope and redemption for the church and for the fallen pastor himself. Similarly, my little sister came to us from God on the fourth anniversary of Chernobyl so that our family in America might know that someday nuclear catastrophes that cause cancer would...

He 'needs desperately to be forgiven and healed.' It is very well that he is desperate to be forgiven. He has shown all too clearly that the esteem of others is the most important thing in his life. If he thinks that homosexuality is a conscious choice, he isn't 'sick' and doesn't need healing. But throughout this letter, he outwardly takes responsibility, while portraying himself as a victim, not an agent. So which is it?

Lastly, by asking his faithful to forgive the man whose accusations have largely been verified but who nevertheless spoke unspecified calumnies against the good pastor, Haggard again slyly deflects the blame. There is some grandiosity in his statement that the whole affair will make himself, his wife, the church, the world, etc., stronger. Haggard is God's unwitting agent in some sort of divine test, not a perpetrator. He got caught because it was part of the plan, for the best, etc., not because he was stupid. While it is possible that Mrs. Haggard is now stronger for all of this, and I sincerely hope so, it would be remiss not to note that this is exactly how AIDS was spread.

In his lengthy apology, Haggard doesn't mention the fact that he is a tweaker. Perhaps he still privately maintains that he never touched all the meth that he bought. That tape recording sounds awfully like a repeat customer.

Haggard spent his life and career selling something that was antithetical to who he really was so that he could bask in adulation and respect. He and a prop had five little props together. Between him and the 'accuser,' who's really the whore?


51 posted on 11/06/2006 9:09:47 PM PST by slaymakerpowertape
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To: slaymakerpowertape

Well, I was only reacting to the fact that he seemed to accept more responsibility than any other public figure I've seen in this situation. But you're right, it came after days of denials and obfuscation.

He needs to go away, so that he can allow God to salvage his life. I respect that he has finally come clean. He has caused a great deal of damage to the Church that he cannot repair. But God has left Ted Haggard alive; therefore I know that He still has something in mind for him. But I wish him the best as he tries to put his life back together.


52 posted on 11/06/2006 10:12:50 PM PST by Zack Nguyen
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To: Zack Nguyen

All I'm saying is that this wasn't a very good apology - it was wordy, self-involved, and self-serving. He's still the same lousy guy he ever was, except that he got caught.


53 posted on 11/07/2006 6:11:37 AM PST by slaymakerpowertape
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To: A2J

Ping.


54 posted on 11/08/2006 9:47:02 AM PST by A2J (Love Jesus...hate "church.")
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To: gusopol3
I doubt he's gay, probably just turned on by sexual practices that his wife is too self-respecting to engage in.

OK, Wouldn't a heterosexual male then hire a female prostitute to perform these acts his wife is uninterested in?

55 posted on 11/08/2006 10:07:36 AM PST by sangfroid
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To: SunnyUsa

His wife and kids don't deserve this. They haven't done anything wrong. His family gave him love and loyalty and he repaid them with betrayal. Not nice.


56 posted on 11/08/2006 10:18:39 AM PST by sangfroid
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To: sangfroid

so true, I feel very sorry for them


57 posted on 11/08/2006 1:05:41 PM PST by SunnyUsa (No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.)
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To: sangfroid

I don't know; I don't think this guy is going to come out like McGreevey and say he's "gay" as though biologically determined is what I mean.


58 posted on 11/08/2006 4:28:08 PM PST by gusopol3
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To: gusopol3

He is physically attracted to members of the same sex. I'm not sure what other word would you use for that? The problem is, his wife will always be wondering if he would rather be with someone else who doesn't share her gender. It doesn't matter if he "comes out" or makes his preferences public. The damage is done.


59 posted on 11/09/2006 11:16:19 PM PST by sangfroid
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