How to Overcome Nymphomania

FoxNews ^ | 10/12/06 | Staff

[Millee]

Michelle and Brian Watters are hoping you will judge their books by their covers … but maybe that's because the covers are all they're selling.

Say you're stuck on a plane next to a chatty neighbor, and you want nothing more than to be left alone. Thanks to the Watters, you can just open up your hardback copy of "How to Murder a Complete Stranger … and Get Away With It" and odds are you'll get your wish.

The Ottawa couple is selling individual self-help book jackets sporting comical titles — and they're hoping readers with an active funny bone will help themselves, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation reports.

Among their eccentric offerings are "How to Overcome Nymphomania" (sure to get you some dates), "Do-It Yourself Vasectomy" (for the medical enthusiast with an independent streak) and "The Nutritional Benefits of Nose-Picking" (a must-read for any aspiring culinary artist) — to name a few.

"These are great if your mother wants the latest Danielle Steele for Christmas. You put 'How to Make Your Mother a Porn Star' on the cover [of the actual Danielle Steele book]," said Helen Aikenhead, owner of Ottawa bookstore Three Wild Women. "And when she opens it up on Christmas morning, she doesn't know what your intentions are."

And if your mom would be less than impressed, Michelle Watters suggests using the titles to … um … clear the air, so to speak.

"If you want to sit by yourself, and you don't want anyone bothering you, "Perfecting the Art of Fart Projection" will guarantee you a solo seat," she said.

The jackets are currently being sold in bookstores and boutiques in about a dozen countries for around $6.

[najida]

Me?

I don't wanna recover!

Really...

[Perdogg]

Why would you want to?? ;)

[Oberon]

I want a book cover called "How To Live Normally, In Spite Of Incredible Sexual Prowess".

Nope; I'm not gonna write that one. I'm keeping the secret to myself.

[Mike Bates]

And thanks for the ping to CholeraJoe, who will surely inherit this list should something ever happen to me.

And no doubt will "inherit" something less appetizing if he doesn't change his ways.

[Perdogg]

So, you are the woman in Georgia with 8 husbands???

[#1CTYankee]

I wrestle with my manhood and sometimes I win."

Man, there is so much I could say but I'd rather not get banned.

How about this for a title.

101 Beauty Secrets By Helen Thomas

[Millee]

Me either. How about, "How to overcome the guilt of nymphomania". ;o)

[najida]

I wish...
A gardener & critter wrangler
A cook & housekeeper
A massage therapist
A personal shopper & hairdresser
An accountant
A dance partner
A roadie
And boy toy.

A girl can dream I guess.

[najida]

You're supposed to feel guilty?

Did I miss a memo?

[Millee]

How about this for a title. 101 Beauty Secrets By Helen Thomas

It's missing the decimal point in front.

[fanfan]

LOL!

Thanks for the ping, Millee, I think.

;-)

Canada ping.

Please send me a FReepmail to get on or off this Canada ping list.

[JRios1968]

Recently, I have been reading "How to be humble despite being rich and well-endowed."

[Mike Bates]

Recently, I have been reading "How to be humble despite being rich and well-endowed."

Maybe you should have started with "Overcoming Delusions of Adequacy." :)

[linda_22003]

I was hoping, from the headline, that it was really going to be a helpful guide! NOW what will I do??

[JRios1968]

I wrote that one!

[Mike Bates]

Refresher training is recommended at this time.

[#1CTYankee]

"It's missing the decimal point in front."

Ha, how about

Top 10 things you can do with a cigar by Bill Clinton.

Just what does bovate mean anyways? by Sean Hanity

[CholeraJoe]

And no doubt will "inherit" something less appetizing if he doesn't change his ways.

Huh? What's that mean?

[Millee]

Just think pure thoughts all the time. Like I do.

[Mike Bates]

Never mind. Sent in error.