The Official Friday Silliness Thread: Bring Your Own Silliness

The Unoffical Billy Mays Fan Club ^ | October 13, 2006 (13 October 2006) | sully777

[sully777]

IT'S FRIDAY IN PARADISE!

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Today's OFST is low budget. I'm nearing the conclusion of vacation time and much as one loves eating, drinking, sleeping, drinking, sleeping, eating, drinking, sleeping, and enjoying a carefree existence, I miss home and hearth. In other words, I'm down to my last dime and there's work piling up.

I can't access much on my hotel computer so I will rely on the men, women, chinese acrobats, freaks, aliens, and undead horror movie villains to make this Friday the 13th the silliest thread.

Have a great Friday the 13th. I miss all you FReaks. Until Sunday, Mahalo!

"Blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub"

[girlscout]

Christmas

Have you started your shopping yet?

[fredhead]

Christmas lights!!

http://www.lightupxmas.com/gallery2/d/943-3/Queen-low.wmv

[girlscout]

[Lucky9teen]

For your reading pleasure today...and for some cheap thrills...

[lilylangtree]

An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out.

The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked and tied a lemon between her legs.

When she came out, the old man cried, "You can't go out like that!"

She said, "I can go anyway I like and so can you."

Whereupon he retired to the bedroom and came out stark raving naked with a potato tied to his tallywhacker.

The old woman says, you're going out like that?"

And he replies, "Yep, if you can go as a sour-puss, I can go as a dick-tator."

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A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.

However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch.

Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence.

"Get well quick...from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."

---

The mother superior tells the 3 nuns before they can receive their saint name the nuns had one final test. She told them to go commit one sin so that they would not have urges to be bad.

After the 3 nuns return, the mother superior says, "Did you commit your sins?"

They all shake their heads yes.

The first 2 nuns are crying but the 3rd is giggling. The mother superior says to the first one, "What sin did you commit child?"

The first nun answers with tears in her eyes. "I was just rotten, I picked flowers from someone's garden." The mother
superior says, Go drink the holy water and it will be all right."

The 3rd nun is dancing around in laughter.

The mother superior asks the 2nd nun. Her whole body is shaking and she is crying. "I stole candy from a baby."

The mother superior says, "My child drink the holy water and you are forgiven." At this point, the 3rd nun falls on the floor hysterically laughing.

The mother superior is disgusted and asks, "What are you laughing at?" The 3rd nun is barely able to answer through her tears of laughter, "I peed in the Holy water."

[girlscout]

YEAH!

[Petronski]

Morally, intellectually, and now financially
Bankrupt!

[Lucky9teen]

[5Madman2]

A Marine gets out of the Corps and lives his life like the American dream. When the War on Iraq comes around 40 plus years later, he goes down to the local recruiting station, and tells the recruiter, "I want in, I wanna fight." But the recruiter says, "Sorry man, you're too old."

"Fine," the guy says. "I'll go to the Pentagon. I have a friend there. He'll let me in!" So he goes to the Pentagon and tells his friend, "I want in, I wanna fight." But his friend says, "Sorry Buddy, you're too old."

"Fine," the guy says. "I'll buy a boat and row to Iraq!" So he goes out and buys himself a rowboat and starts rowing to Iraq, chanting "Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!" over and over again.

St. Peter sees all this and goes to God and says, "Lord, what do I do to stop this clown?" God tells St. Peter, "Why don't you take his brain? It's the root of all thought." So St. Peter takes the guy's brain. It doesn't faze him. "Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!" St. Peter then says, "Now what?!"

God replies, "Why don't you take his heart? It's the seat of all emotion." So St. Peter takes it. Doesn't faze the guy. "Semper Fi, Do or Die, OO-Rah, OO-Rah!"

St. Peter says, "Now what should I do?!" God smiles and says, "Take his gonads." So St. Peter lops off the guy's gonads.

The guy immediately stops rowing, looks confused, turns his boat around in circles, and begins chanting, "Off we go, into the wild blue yonder..."

[Lucky9teen]

[John O]

The Russians are very jealous of the American's Stealth Bombers, so they've decided to build their own. It'll be called the Optical Illyushin.

Not to be confused with the stealth fishing vessel devopled on Adak called the Optical Aleutian

[LongElegantLegs]

If you think that's bad, then DON'T Google "The Keeper".

[Lucky9teen]

[uglybiker]

What if Michael Jackson was Indian?

[r-q-tek86]

Thanks for the ping, Maxie, but there will be no silliness for me today. I'm off to San Antonio for my sister's wedding!

Maybe I can run into Legs when I'm down there, too.

Y'all be good.

[Maximus of Texas]

Just don't wait on her to pick you up at the airport.

[girlscout]

Beer Boy at the Beach

[LongElegantLegs]

Hey, I think I'm doing pretty good just picking my gi-normous pregnant body out of bed each morning. Sass me not.

[TheresaKett]

There is a Huge Gumby (its taller than their house) in someone's yard that I drive by regularly. He always has seasonal boxers on, but yesterday, he was "naked" should have had his hand over his mouth like this picture.

[Toby06]

LOL!