Now, that's funny!
Posted on 10/04/2006 11:20:57 AM PDT by Alouette
Iran's supreme leader answers questions on masturbation and other topics on his website
Yaakov Lappin Published: 10.04.06, 19:55
Deliberate masturbation during the month of Ramadan renders a fast invalid, Iranian Supreme Leader Sayyid Ali Khameini has ruled.
Khameini, who is Iran's most powerful political and religious figure, was asked on his website : "If somebody masturbates during the month of Ramadan but without any discharge, is his fasting invalidated?"
"If he do not intend masturbation and discharging semen and nothing is discharged, his fasting is correct even though he has done a ḥarām (forbidden) act. But, if he intends masturbation or he knows that he usually discharges semen by this process and semen really comes out, it is a ḥaram intentional breaking fasting," the Iranian leader said, posting the reply on his website.
Another reader asked: "Once in the holy month of Ramadan, I forgot to brush my teeth, and some tiny bits of food remained in my mouth. I swallowed the bits unintentionally. Do I have to perform the qaḍa (repent) for that day's fast?"
"If you did not know that some bits of food remained between the teeth, or you did not know that they would reach the throat, and they were swallowed unknowingly and unintentionally, then you are not liable to make (repent) of the fast," said Khameini.
'Drink water while standing'
On the website, Khameini also tells Iranians that only jockeys are permitted to gamble on horse races.
He is also asked whether it is permissible for a man to marry a woman only in order to be able to live in his wife's country. "Can a man conclude a marriage contract for a year with a European girl after getting her agreement with the purpose of going to her country?" A reader asked.
"There is no problem in that if they are serious in contracting marriage and it is done with her father's permission if she is virgin," Khameini ruled.
The Iranian leader also told readers they were allowed to "to drink water while standing" at nights. It was "not permissible" to take part in meetings attended by both men and women, he told another reader.
"In Islam's view, rulers and governments exist just to serve people and carry out works in the interest of the public and this is what God demands us, as authorities, to fulfill," Khamenei was quoted Tuesday telling Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
Now, that's funny!
All month or is this like so many other Ramadan rules that only apply during the daytime? Inquiring minds want to know.
"So, Achmed, you look a little rotund. Fast going well?"
I always thought he was a beat off. Now he is giving advice to the rest of the jerk offs on how to do it.
So, is making whoopie with your goat still allowed? How about with a concubine that used to be the daughter of an enemy, whom you took in battle?
Always knew they were whackos; but whackers???
See, here's another reason Christianity is better. The Pope advises that people NEVER do it, but forgives them when they do.
"just avoid hand-to-gland combat."
ROTFLMAO
Wait a minute!!
Masturbation makes the FAST invalid??
What do the do with the...EEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!
"NOOOOOO, Not El Duque!!!!"
Would this fatwa include acts of premature jihadulation?
They're probably broadening the meaning of "fast" to include avoiding certain sinful acts. I'm an Orthodox Christians and during our fasts were are typically reminded to "fast" from anger, from gossip, etc. I can't speak for the Muslims, but in the Orthodox tradition the fast is to be a time for spiritual growth and discipline, and abstaining from certain foods is part of that, but simply restricting one's diet is not the main point.
The stuff mentioned in this article just looks like a way to become neurotic.
"So, I was lying in bed, thinking about goats, churning butter and pulling taffy while not spanking my monkey, when suddenly, completely out of the blue, I was."
"You can think about it, but don't do it."
I think this also means that Muslims are not allowed to respond to any instant "Happy Ramadan! What are you wearing?" messages from Congressman Foley.
With all these fine details of ritual purity and impurity which can change counting on which teacher you consult, it's no wonder some of these people get a little bonkers....
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