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Fall Classes for Men! Diplomas Issued to Survivors! (Female Freepers Will Appreciate This!)
Chron Watch ^ | 10/4/06

Posted on 10/04/2006 9:58:26 AM PDT by areafiftyone

FALL CLASSES FOR MEN
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, October 9, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Classes begin Monday, October 16, 2006

Class 1
How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and
Avoiding the Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 6
Loss of Identity --- Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.

Class 7
Learning How to Find Things --- Starting With Looking tn the Right Places
And Not Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful to Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask tor Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
.
Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 12
How to Be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation, and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours, Beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: boyswillbeboys; muchtruthsaidinjest

1 posted on 10/04/2006 9:58:27 AM PDT by areafiftyone
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To: areafiftyone

Ouch..my wife would have a field day with this thread..


2 posted on 10/04/2006 10:01:52 AM PDT by cardinal4 (Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi..)
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To: areafiftyone

LMAO!


3 posted on 10/04/2006 10:03:01 AM PDT by proudofthesouth (Mao said that power comes at the point of a rifle; I say FREEDOM does.)
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To: areafiftyone

This is clearly doomed to failure - half the class times conflict with football!


4 posted on 10/04/2006 10:09:27 AM PDT by thoughtomator (Islam delenda est)
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To: areafiftyone

Where do I send tuition payment for my hubby to attend Sessions 5 (After dinner dishes) and 7 (How to find things)?

LOL! Thanks so much for the smile!


5 posted on 10/04/2006 10:10:35 AM PDT by alwaysconservative (I have just one thing to say about global warming: BRRRRRRRRRR!)
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To: areafiftyone

snicker


6 posted on 10/04/2006 10:10:46 AM PDT by Professional Engineer (If you know that i and j are the same number, you might be a nerd too.)
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To: cardinal4
re. Class #2

Don't be stupid ... of course it doesn't change itself ... but does a woman really know which way the 'tail end' comes off the roll?

And is it possible for her to learn, once we've done it correctly .. to leave it alone and not change it around?

I propose a secondary/remedial class of the above for women.

What?
I can't?
But I ...
No, really ,, I ...

Yes dear.

7 posted on 10/04/2006 10:13:29 AM PDT by knarf (Islamists kill each other ... News wall-to-wall, 24/7 .. don't touch that dial.)
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To: alwaysconservative; All
Thanks so much for the smile!

We could all use one!

8 posted on 10/04/2006 10:15:05 AM PDT by areafiftyone (Politicians Are Like Diapers - Both Need To Be Changed Often And For The Same Reason)
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To: areafiftyone

~guffaw!~ Good one!


9 posted on 10/04/2006 10:36:31 AM PDT by Froufrou
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