Teacher Arrested

List | PRalstin

[xzins]

NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying "weapons of math instruction."

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names, like 'x' and 'y,' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the "axis of medieval" with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.' "

When asked to comment on the arrest, 'cut 'n' run democrat spokesman Sen. John Kerry said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

[Gabz]

Bravo!!!!

[patton]

ouch.

[sit-rep]

IBTZ!

[Egon]

Pun ping.

[lawdude]

I've gottenn more than 10 copies of this in the last year.

[ShadowDancer]

ROTFL. This is great.

[ShadowDancer]

So now have 12. Your mom will be very proud.

[AmericanMade1776]

Just goes to show you have to take Al gebra serious.

[Condor51]

Funny, but....

Nobody under 40 knows what a slide rule is.

[indcons]

Thanks for posting this under News under War on Terror and Extended News topics!!

[Old Student]

Chaplain, (or should that be Chaplin? ;) this one is so old its fossilized bones show...

This is one of those jokes that follow geometric progression. First time you see it, the person who sent it to you is a wit. Second time, a half-wit. I've now seen it so many times it approaches an infinite series...

[xzins]

You'd be surprised how often that gets spelled "Chaplin."

And, yes, I do have a mustache. :>)

Newbie for me and some other, but apparently an OldieButGoodie for others.

I just love slappin' the 'cut n runners' upside the head.

[sticker]

Thanks for reminding me how old I am

[xzins]

ping

[Old Student]

"Funny, but....
Nobody under 40 knows what a slide rule is."

We have a couple of them laying around, and in my library is a book on how to use them, just in case. We got them just before Y2K... even though it would have been a real problem to post on FR if we really needed them. ;)

(my wife is now older than 40, but wasn't then. I was, and still am, for some reason, but she's the one who got them.)

[Alamo-Girl]

LOLOL! Thanks for the chuckle!

[redwhit]

Nobody under 40 knows what a slide rule is.

I would've thought the same thing but . . .

Maybe six months or so ago, Scientific American ran an article by Cliff Stoll on the history of the slide rule where he effectively said the same thing - the slide rule has gone the way of the dodo bird. A couple of issues ago, a mid-twenties Marine First Lieutenant Firing Officer in Fallujah wrote in saying that they're still using slide rules to check the solutions provided by their $40,000 targeting computer as well as a failsafe backup.

The slide rule will never die.

[Old Student]

"I just love slappin' the 'cut n runners' upside the head."

I can get behind that, and PUSH! Have a great week, I must now go finish my homework. Class tonight...

[NonLinear]

I've gottenn more than 10 copies of this in the last year.

So...you quit counting when you ran out of fingers?
Sorry couldn't resist!