Posted on 08/11/2006 4:56:58 PM PDT by wagglebee
Note: A FReeper who wishes to remain anonymous has asked me to post her story of her abortion and the grief and redemption that followed. She does not seek your sympathy, she merely has a desire to possibly help young women avoid the same mistake.
In reading her story, one particular portion of Scripture came to mind:
If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing.
If we say, "We have not sinned," we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. (1 John 1: 9-10)
Here is her story:
Once upon a time, in 1968 or 69, (I was taking so many drugs I don't remember exactly), I lived in a midwest city known for wild living and leftist politics. I was living the life of sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. Being fed on the lies of hedonism with no responsibilitiy, having been taught that there is no God in control, that you make up your own rules, and I was beyond wild. HAving read all the "right" books (Marcuse, Alan Watts, Existentialism, Stranger in a Strange Land, and more I can't remember), I felt it was my duty to break every rule of morality I could find.
The misery, loneliness, and shame I hid underneath a cloud of marijuana and hashish smoke, and lived in the subculture of degradation, with similar people who thought that we were the elite who knew "where it was at". One night, and it disgusts and shames to to write this, I had sex with two men, one after the other. I doubt if I knew their last names. I didn't really crave to, I just felt that my body didn't belong to me (and didn't believe in God, so didn't think it belonged to Him), and just rode the wave of what was happening. It was a miserble and nasty experience. The attention of men in lust was a poor substitute for real love.
In a few weeks I discovered I was pregnant. Of course neither man was capable of or desiring to have any real relationship with me or any child. I worked a lowly job, shared a house with similar fools, and had not a real friend in the world. The only option I thought of was abortion, which was legal in that state under certain circumstances. I don't even remember who brought me to the abortuary or how I paid for it. Maybe relatives paid. I was almost continually in a state of intoxication, either alcohol or drugs.
The "doctor" who helped me kill my child said nothing to me about fetal development, options, danger to myself, the possibility of adoption, or anything else. It was as "routine" as getting a wisdom tooth extracted.
After the crime of killing my baby, I was emptier than before, with another layer of hardness around my heart. I don't remember physical pain, although there may have been some. The pregnancy was filled with nausea, and now that I look back (after having had two children), I can see there was a maternal spark there that could have been fanned into life under different influences.
After that I moved to California and dove headfirst into a wildness of crazy behavior even more extreme. I won't go into details of my exploits, but I am lucky to be alive. If AIDS had been around then, I would have caught it. My shameful sexual excess knew no bounds - and at the same time, there was not a drop of "pleasure" in it. I even wanted to try out for porn movies, with a girl friend. Luckily they refused us, no doubt could see we were too green.
What happened? Long story, suffice to say I found God, or He found me. The crime of abortion is only one of many I have committed, and the past darkness of my life is now a bad dream. Later I met a woman about my age who had been pregnant around the same time, but had the baby and gave him up for adoption. If only I had known! If only someone had approached me and told me about the development of babies in the womb, and how they feel pain! If only I had seen an abortion protester with information! If only I had read an ad from people offering to adopt my baby!
To this day tears fill my eyes when I consider the terrible crime I committed, the pain I caused a living child, ripping him or her from my womb, I beg God's forgiveness when I think of what I did, and wish with all my heart that abortion was illegal, and maternity homes for unwed mothers were brought back for unfortunate girls as in the past.
People need to be taught right from wrong, and I applaud all pro-life workers. Every woman or girl who is influenced to save the life of her unborn baby will not have to carry the pain in her heart that I carry.
The destruction of the family, chastity and virtue is ruining countess millions of lives and will destroy society if not turned around. It almost ruined my life. God is so wonderful He can change the heart of the worst sinner.
Wow, another moving story today. Thank you for sharing... It's stories like these that speak volumes about abortion. Anonymous poster - thanks for your courage to share.
Thank you for posting this.
I love you. I am so grateful to the God of our Salvation for your testimony to His Work in you.
Before I saw this thread today I was moved to post (again, for I have posted it many times here) my own testimony. I think there is a reason for that having happened, for these testimonies to be published abroad in this day, in these times:
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:
"Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God,
and the authority of his Christ.
For the accuser of our brothers,
who accuses them before our God day and night,
has been hurled down.
They overcame him
by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
as to shrink from death.
Revelation 12:10-11
I can not thank you enough for the ping to this thread, and for all the pings you send my way. You are doing a great work in His Name!
Hallelujah bump!
This needs to be said. Thank you.
Bumping your wonderful note.
Thank you so much for that link. I had not seen those ads before.
Dear Anonymous: I know exactly the pain you speak of. I've been through it too. And God found me also. Praise the Lord, I am pro-life also. God bless you.
Bump and ping
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Dear Anonymous Freeper;
Thank you for sharing your story.
I have been involved with the pro-life groups for many years...
..from counseling at Crisis Pregnancy Centers to praying across the street from abortuaries...(with my church)...
... to writing letters to those in authority...
..and traveling for hours to the state capitol to lobby against new legislation....etc. etc.
I can remember many days....standing with my church group under a huge leafy tree that gave us some relief from the heat....and provided a bit of shelter during the rain...
..and wondering if the abortionists and their minions would ever be known for the liars they are...
..if ever the truth would become light for the whole world to see and know...
I think it is starting to happen.
You're welcome. VirueMedia does such wonderful work that I try to point them out whenever I can.
Thanks, 30. That Rosenberg testimony link via your profile is an excellent Jewish-Christian resource. Thanks.
p.
I believe for each and every abortion there is a story like this. Blessings on this poor woman and all others who were so cruelly tricked by the media following a few hideous man-hating hags in the 60s and 70s.
It is my belief that now women are turning more and more away from this murder of convenience and women are learning more about the life (YES, DEAR G_D, THE LIFE!) of a first-trimester unborn baby.
However, there is another trend that is even more insidious. The wonderful instrument that has greatly helped the Life movement, the ultrasound machine, is now also providing couples with a reason to kill even older babies in utero: they can view their baby's imperfections. Down's Syndrome and other deformities are showing up, and doctors are complicit in giving these couples "choices" to make. They use words like "incompatible with life."
Yet even a baby born with severe problems might well live for moments, hours, or days, and might have that chance to visit this earth and be held by those who already love him impossibly much, and be able to be bathed in their loving tears and receive those kisses. It's sadder than sad but there is a beauty to the angels that don't stay. It is wrong to murder them before their time.
BTTP
excuse me.. I meant "BTTT"
What a heartbreaking and touching story. I had friends back then, who had abortions. One in particular comes to mind because years later when she wanted children, she had problem after problem. She was heartsick over her decision to abort her child and felt her lack of being able to carry a child to full term was her punishment. The past haunts her to this day. They don't tell you that at the abortion clinics. God Bless the freeper who wrote this, and whose story it is.
You only need to beg his forgiveness for this once-He has forgiven you already. May God continue to bless you.
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