[Slings and Arrows]

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a
voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike
running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day, 20 lb. program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.

She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while before he can continue, so for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day, 50 lb. program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most
rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door, and when he opens it he finds
Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,

"If I catch you, you're mine."

[Joke from someone who probably prefers to remain anonymous.]

[Irish_Thatcherite]

AHHHHH!! It's the Robotic Richard Simmons!!!!!!!

[Lady Jag]

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. One of the students said to his friend, "I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."

The other student says, "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks just as we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students asked, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you'll tell me what you think."

One of the students said, "I think it's Petry Syndrome."

The old man said, "You thought.......... but you're wrong."

Then the other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

The old man said, "You thought.......... but you're wrong."

So they asked him: "Well, what do you have?"

And the old man replied, "I thought It was a fart........... but I was wrong.

[bitt]

we need some comedic breaks from reality - ping