VANITY- Parenthood Later in Life

7-31-06 | myself

[Muzzle_em]

I've always done everything on my own time-table, including waiting until after age 30 to get married. My husband and I remained childless and planned to never be parents, but now in my early 40's I'm feeling differently. I also am blessed in that I would be able to stay at home with the baby.

For every story I've heard about age-related fertility issues, I've also heard of yet another couple who thought they couldn't get pregnant, didn't worry about birth control, and got a nice little surprise.

I would like to hear from Freepers who have become parents either again or for the first time after age 40. Is it easier to parent or more difficult? Are you enjoying it more? Did doctors try to push you into trying IVF?

[wolfcreek]

It's not what nature intended, no matter what others say or think! Just because you can does not mean you should!

[Muzzle_em]

I would like to thank everyone for their kind and helpful responses! Apparently this thread was helpful to some of you as well, judging by some of the private responses I got. The world needs more kids raised by positive, happy, conservatives!

[Kaylee Frye]

No time right now to read all of these responses - my folks had me at 38 - I was the "miracle baby" (they weren't supposed to be able to have more). My husband's folks had their last in their 40s - another "miracle baby". They are so happy as were my folks.

On a side note, firsts can be harder - you might think about charting - look into FAM/NFP - a good book is "Taking Charge of Your Fertility".

Good luck! And don't let naysayers hold you back!

[HairOfTheDog]

If nature didn't intend some late babies... menopause would hit at 30.

[wolfcreek]

menopause would hit at 30.


Tell that to my Wife, she started in her mid-thirties. The reverse argument; puberty can start as early as 8 yrs. old.

Like I said, despite all the possible bad side effects from old-timers trying to have children, just because you can doesn't mean you should!

My Wife and I are enjoying our childless years and waiting on them grand-babies. BTW: parenting NEVER stops!

[HairOfTheDog]

Then that's what nature intended for your wife. Others might remain fertile longer. As long as one is fertile, babies are what 'nature' intended, are they not?

Live your life the way you want... just let others do the same.

I don't have kids, and don't think I ever will, but I don't think what I want has a thing to do with someone else.

[carlo3b]

Bookmark for later, for advice about later in life children, and boy can I tell you..YeHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!.. :)

[wolfcreek]

Live your life the way you want... just let others do the same

This was a VANITY thread and the poster ASKED for opinions.


All these people who spent their lives doing exactly what they wanted, without having to deal with parenthood, now decide they want to be parents. IMO, they were being self-serving then and now they're being selfish, cheating these children out of, what I would consider, a NORMAL childhood. Just because people live longer, does not mean you will.

[HairOfTheDog]

I would like to hear from Freepers who have become parents either again or for the first time after age 40...

Technically she asked for the opinions of people who have done it ;~)

My own mom died at 58. Her mother at 85. A couple friends of mine died in their twenties. You just never know what you're going to get. Perhaps having kids will prolong their youth, and give them the same joy it gave you.

Just because you ~can~ play the devil's advocate, doesn't always mean you ~should~

Have a nice day :~)

[wolfcreek]

Always try to get in the last word? Maybe that's why your childless.

[HairOfTheDog]

What a bitchy thing to say. And yes, I know you're a man.

Happily married to a nice one. But thanks.

[Gay State Conservative]

My understanding of the research on the subject suggests that everything else being equal,the longer a woman waits to have her *first* child,the more difficult she's likely to find to become pregnant.

I think that the words "first child" are important for intricate,biological reasons that I'll never begin to understand.

Perhaps your family doctor or GYN can guide you on this matter.

[LongElegantLegs]

I'm having mine while I'm "too young", according to most people.
You can't make everyone happy, so please don't worry about the snarky comments you're bound to recieve.
I hope you can have the baby naturally, but I would urge you to consider adopting before IVF. It's just a personal bias, but alot of kids need good homes.

[Muzzle_em]

I won't have IVF and would adopt instead.

[Betteboop]

I'm 63 and look 43....feel about the same and the thought of having a teenager now would mentally exhaust me....but then I've worked in a high school for the past 25 years!!!
I hope my daughter will have a baby soon while I am young enough to enjoy it!!!

[Cloverfarm]

We had our kids at ages 33, 35 and 38. NOt by choice but because we got married at age 28. A well-meaning but clueless older man at church told us we'd have lots of good years together even though we were "so old" we'd never have children. LOL We would have liked four or five, but with some quirks in DS2's delivery felt led not to pursue that. Instead for our 4th we are sponsoring an AIDS orphan in Africa.

Good luck with your family!

Ann

[wolfcreek]

What a bitchy thing to say


Yes it was! Sorry {:>( I was in a very pissy mood yesterday.


IMO, the best thing people can do who want children in their later years is to adopt an older child. Use your life experience to help mold the mind of a child who really needs it.

[writmeister]

We adopted our daughter when I was forty and my wife was forty-one. She was one years old at the time. I cannot tell you what a joy the past two years have been. I feel healthier and am more active than when we were pre-child.

I would say more, but I hear her waking up.

[Muzzle_em]

The thought of a teenager is what has kept us from procreating thus far.