Posted on 07/29/2006 8:31:52 PM PDT by se_ohio_young_conservative
Ok, I want to propose. I dont know how to go about a ring. I want something cheap but nice. She is the nicest, most understanding woman on the planet, but I dont want to look like a cheapskate. I am not that rich. going into my life savings for this. any freepers have any advice.
I would like to propose on Canadian thankgiving in Oct. She lives in Toronto. plan to be moved in with her by Christmas *smile*
Try the Big Box places, and start pricing per carat. I suggest at least a half-carat, three quarters better. Jewelers will try to sell you on quality, but keep in mind the ring will be dirty a lot of the time and size ought to be a big factor. My diamonds are bigger but not of the best quality--I don't mind. I've even found it interesting to know my "fingerprints" by the little flaws I can find with a jeweler's loop.
this might sound crazy,
I am not all that worried about money. If we love eachother enough, if we really try at it, and we are for real. we will make it. Life is a team sport. getting through life together is a part of marriage. there will be storms and trials no matter how much money someone makes or if they are married or not. having someone to ride the storms out with would be a great thing. I am not expecting every day for the rest of my life to be easy and sunny. but if we believe in eachother and TRUST IN GOD, that is half the battle.
You go through so many changes in your twenties. I'm having a hard time explaining just how different I am now.
I just hope you have a firm grip on exactly how long "forever" is. How do you plan to support your wife/family? Maybe you're smarter than me, but it took me over 10 years to find a profession that I enjoyed. And baby, a husband/father needs to be a money making machine.
taking a verse from a country song.
"if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans"
I cant sit here and say what I will be doing 10 years from now. I dont even know what I am going eat for lunch. I know I love this woman with all of my heart, and I would regret not taking chances more than I would taking chances and getting negative results. I feel that FAITH will get us through. I am taking the faith route here, ...trusting in God more than I do myself...
Also understand, if the unthinkable happens and you need a divorce, she'll get at least half of everything you own(and possibly stuff you had before you met her).
In terms of the ring, I found a BEAUTIFUL one at a pawn shop for a good price. I ended up selling it back to them for less than half price.
You know? You may get kicked around a little for that, but I find it sweet. Once I got used to it, I found that maintaining a home was more creative than I thought, particularly when we graduated and had a few more resources to work with. And, I learned to really cook. Sometimes it works out that one partner can't make enough to justify the expenses of working--which is a little deflating to the ego when you happen to enjoy earning money.
More often, I see in the attitudes of young husbands an outright determination that their wives shall work--they want the comfort of the extra income, and figure she'll just run the house as well.
you talk like someone who has had your heart broken so much or so badly that you are not high on marriage overall, that is sad. i feel for you.
but I believe I am ready to take a chance on love, and have faith in God and the woman I am deeply in love with.
No I'm fine. I will have a large family someday.
I happen to favor young marriages. I think the shopping around in the twenties makes for harder hearts and silly expectations. If someone has slept around, I believe they are more likely to continue to do so when married. Behaviors get set in cement as we get older. As for the changes that take place, they'll still rear up in the thirties, forties, and fifties.
tis the plan.
you got to take chances in life.
thats what I think.
I think people mess up with they start thinking in terms of "I" instead of "US".
LOL--mostly I hear them wanting a new bassboat or motorcycle or ATV or rifle. No metro 'round here.
"Find a woman you don't like and buy her a house" You'll save time and money this way.
Good for you. You're going to go through life, anyway ... why not start going through it, now, with the woman you love.
Our lives - mine and my husband's - have turned out totally different from what we expected 20 years ago, and we are different people, in many ways, from those two in their early 20's. I think the life we have together now, with our 8 (so far) children, is much better than what we planned.
Just as you don't need to let the Diamond Marketing Association sell you a ring for two months' salary, you don't need to let the world sell you the story that a good life is synonymous with wealth. "Never love anything that can't love you back," as Don Aslett says!
I've beem married twice. Both times I asked my bride-to-be whether she wanted a $1K - $3K diamond or a house full of furniture. They both said "screw the diamond, let's get something to sit/sleep on.
None of us regretted the decision.
Think "Practicle."
uh.....she might.
I mean, 'cheap but nice'....is almost impossible.
If she's the nicest lady on the planet, why not invest in a ring that's lasting.
I agree, but if she is THE ONE, she's already invested herself in our friend, and a ring won't need to be huge for her to say yes.
And he can always upgrade a few years down the road.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.