I use this but I'm out of old newspapers. I need on of those.
Posted on 07/21/2006 5:56:55 AM PDT by CT-Freeper
Did you ever notice that the gas grill is the man's domain? Even in homes where the man of the house has never prepared a single meal in the kitchen -- unless you count pulling a package of Pop Tarts out of the box -- as soon as it's decided that dinner will be cooked on the gas grill, the man of the house eagerly dons his "Born to Barbecue" apron and announces to no one in particular, "OK, let's do some grillin'!!"
Of course, there are some men who enjoy all forms of cooking and know their way around the kitchen quite well. And then there are normal guys: those who wouldn't know which room in the house actually is the kitchen except that when they first moved into the house and rolled the refrigerator right next to the reclining chair in the living room (a very good location if you ask me), their wives exclaimed, "The fridge goes in the kitchen! No, honey, that's the dining room. Over here. See the linoleum floor, the sink, the stove? That's right. Good boy. Here's a doggie treat. Now go out to the truck and bring in the sofa. No, honey, that's a closet door. The front door is over there. That's right. Good boy."
Men are usually in charge of the gas grill because it employs an element of nature that gets men very excited: bikinis. No wait, wrong element of nature. Gas grills utilize a different element of nature that gets men just as excited, if not more excited, than bikinis: fire.
Thousands of years ago it was men who first discovered fire. Women did not discover fire because they were back home deciding which corner of the cave was the best place to locate the refrigerator. Just like that famous Greek guy, Archimedes, who exclaimed, "Eureka!" when he discovered the bubble bath, the first guy to discover fire -- his name was Ooog -- also uttered a memorable word. Upon discovering fire, Ooog exclaimed, "Aaaiiieeee!!!" The fire Ooog discovered was a brush fire caused by lightning.
Ooog looked at it curiously, and then thought to himself, "I wonder if that is just as refreshing to jump into as a cool stream?" Moments later, a smoldering Ooog declared his historic pronouncement.
Soon after, it was men who discovered that food tastes a lot better when it's placed in fire for a while. The specific guy who first discovered this important fact -- his name was Mooog -- offered these historic words, "Not bad, but Ooog would taste even better with ketchup."
Gas grilles are pretty much the only way for modern men to be in touch with their primitive side these days. Face it, in our society we are not allowed to have fun with fire. If you even own a cigarette lighter the Smoking Nazis want to lock you up. It's now against the law to burn piles of leaves in the Fall. If you start a fire in the fireplace, someone is sure to say, "Fireplace soot is bad for little Leonard's asthma! Put that out at once or I'll call the Soot Nazis!" And I need not mention that in these "politically correct" times, it is no longer socially acceptable to entertain the neighborhood kids by breaking out Uncle Mike's World War II surplus flamethrower.
So modern men are basically flame-less these days -- except when it comes to the gas grill season. Then, thankfully, we are allowed to singe our eyebrows and arm hair to our heart's content.
Guys, in the immortal words of our pioneering forebears, please join me in a hearty, "Aaaiiieeee!!!"
Bill Dunn is a free-lance writer who resides in Torrington. He can be reached via his Web site at: www.boomertrek.com.
**grunts**
**starts dancing like a caveman**
OOGA Chaka OOGA OOGA OOGA Chaka
:)
I use this but I'm out of old newspapers. I need on of those.
I think it's 3 years now. No complaints. It's cast iron grates, which I like best, but they do require diligent maintenance. It's just a simple, straightforward smoker/grill. I've used it countless times. I like it a lot. It wasn't expensive either.
Thanks. No lava rocks in the Weber Q but I'll experiment a bit with other placements.
Blow its nose, wipe its @ss, and wave a matchbook at it.
Real men make their own lump charcoal.
Hence the true, original reason for the advent of warfare. All that burning and pillaging was necessary to acquire the food, fixins and charcoal for the sacred shindig...
Thanks!
Where did you buy it? HD, Lowe's? I'm thinking/hoping I might catch one at the end-of-season sale.
It's the "Performer" series from Weber ... not too many places carry this model.
(cracks beer)
(smacks skeeter on arm)
(pets dog who is never more than 3 feet away from grill during and immediately after operation.)
(opens patio door, and asks wife to send out another grill tool - STAND BY - milwaukee's best)
i ALWAYS get a FOOM from my old, beat-up gas grill - the ignitor has been broke for years, and i turn on the gas and throw in a match or use a firestick.
yes, Navy, 22 years, retired. now a crab.
Of course, this doesn't mean I don't grill during the colder months. As long as I have a path shoveled to the grill through the snow, I'll grill even during a blizzard.
Ahhh yes, it's FOON BALL time of year...I miss seeing those mishap reports...
I have electric, too. My husband and son to do the Real Fire thing outside, when the fit hits them!
and i was the safety officer in my last command. had the most entertaining lectures, too - most of the hazards and incidents i was talkin about actually happened to me.
i often commented that my current body is primarily composed of scar tissue.
Gas is for grilling and wood is for Barbecue. Direct flame vs. indirect heat and smoke. There or those who must kill it them selves first, but stocking a cow is boring to me even with a spear made with a pool cue with a steak knife duck taped to it. While I also have this primitive urge I am keeping my indoor plumbing, electronics, toys alike.
Cows, that reminds me, Just think, Do RINO's sleep standing and can you go RINO tipping?
If I recall correctly, I ordered it direct from the website. Some assembly required, but it was a piece of cake.
Thanks again!
You're welcome. Good luck. The one I got, the Super Pro, was under $200. Can't beat that with a stick. I expect to be using it tonight. Friends, adult beverages, a few guitars, maybe a fiddler, some jersey corn, chicken, peppers, mushrooms...oh man, I can't wait :-P What more do you want out of life??
You can get a hotter direct fire with charcoal than with gas however.
I think I saw them at Home Depot.
That's likely what I'm going to buy.
I like to smoke meat and have a water smoker. But it's kinda a pain to use.
The chargriller would be much easier I think.
BTW, looked at the Brinkman also, but WOW, they are mucho $$$.
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