Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

The Official Weekend Singles Thread--July 14-16
(various sources) | 14 July 2006 | pcottraux; rzeznikj at stout

Posted on 07/14/2006 3:27:18 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout

The ***OFFICIAL*** Weekend Singles Thread—July 14-16

This Week’s Exciting Topic: The ULTIMATE Chuck Norris Thread


Chuck Norris or die.

When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.

Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.

Chuck Norris uses red hot lava to moisturize his skin.

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.

Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.

Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.

Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.

Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

Chuck Norris can lick his own elbows. At the same time.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography....it was just a list of everyone he has killed.

Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.

Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.

As seen in Sidekicks, Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only.

Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.

Chuck Norris can make water run uphill.

Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.

If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIPped into pieces.

Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. No one, and I mean NO ONE can beat Chuck Norris at tennis. Except maybe Victoria Delsoul. But it would be a close match.

Chuck Norris had his tonsils removed with a chainsaw.

The Great Wall of China was built to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: chucknorris; flirt; friendship; singles; weekend
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 261-280281-300301-320 ... 401-412 next last
To: pcottraux

Just a bit bored. The thread's slow and Hoodie's visiting her family in PA...so I won't even see her on here tonight.


281 posted on 07/15/2006 8:22:58 PM PDT by RockinRight (She rocks my world, and I rock her world.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 279 | View Replies]

To: pcottraux

Chuck Norris IS what the Rock is cookin'.


282 posted on 07/15/2006 8:23:25 PM PDT by RockinRight (She rocks my world, and I rock her world.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 275 | View Replies]

To: RockinRight

Chuck Norris can smell what the Rock is cookin'...because the Rock is Chuck Norris's personal chef.


283 posted on 07/15/2006 8:45:32 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 282 | View Replies]

To: pcottraux

I'm here!!!


284 posted on 07/15/2006 8:59:03 PM PDT by Maximus_Ridiculousness (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 249 | View Replies]

To: pcottraux

Phil?


285 posted on 07/15/2006 9:07:18 PM PDT by Maximus_Ridiculousness (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 283 | View Replies]

To: Maximus_Ridiculousness

Yes...present and accounted for!


286 posted on 07/15/2006 9:07:39 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 284 | View Replies]

To: pcottraux

I sw Pirates. Have you seen it yet?


287 posted on 07/15/2006 9:08:19 PM PDT by Maximus_Ridiculousness (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 286 | View Replies]

To: Kate of Spice Island; pcottraux; RockinRight; Maximus_Ridiculousness

Back in again...

Finishing up the last of my Astronomy homework and taking the final quiz...


288 posted on 07/15/2006 9:09:13 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 280 | View Replies]

To: Maximus_Ridiculousness

No, not yet.

Don't spoil anything for me!


289 posted on 07/15/2006 9:12:35 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 287 | View Replies]

To: snugs

That looks wonderful. I've never seen waffles in that formation. Breakfast is my favorite meal even if I have it for supper.


290 posted on 07/15/2006 9:13:38 PM PDT by A knight without armor
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 263 | View Replies]

To: pcottraux

I won't. When you see it, we'll discuss by PM.

GO SEE IT!


291 posted on 07/15/2006 9:14:55 PM PDT by Maximus_Ridiculousness (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 289 | View Replies]

To: Maximus_Ridiculousness

Well, I hope I'll get a chance to soon. I only have one day off this week.


292 posted on 07/15/2006 9:15:45 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 291 | View Replies]

To: pcottraux

Tomorrow, right?


293 posted on 07/15/2006 9:22:46 PM PDT by Maximus_Ridiculousness (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 292 | View Replies]

To: Maximus_Ridiculousness

Monday.


294 posted on 07/15/2006 9:27:37 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 293 | View Replies]

To: rzeznikj at stout

Any other classes right now? Or just astronomy?


295 posted on 07/15/2006 9:38:22 PM PDT by Kate of Spice Island (Modern day psychic, but first I was a US soldier)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 288 | View Replies]

To: pcottraux

Ah.


296 posted on 07/15/2006 9:39:54 PM PDT by Maximus_Ridiculousness (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 294 | View Replies]

To: Maximus_Ridiculousness

Dad always has to go to bed super early on weeknights, because he has to work an unreasonably early shift. Hopefully we'll have time Monday.


297 posted on 07/15/2006 9:41:28 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 296 | View Replies]

To: pcottraux

I can't wait for you to see it. The theatre we went to, they had at least 30 minutes of advertisments and previews before the movie started. I just about finished my popcorn by then.


298 posted on 07/15/2006 9:47:49 PM PDT by Maximus_Ridiculousness (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 297 | View Replies]

To: Maximus_Ridiculousness

Those ads are becoming brutal.

I don't mind movie trailers, but ads for TV shows and sodas? That's just lame.


299 posted on 07/15/2006 9:51:20 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 298 | View Replies]

To: pcottraux

Luckily, the ads were in the very beginning. They didn't last long, but I could swear for all the previews, it's like they show you the entire movie. Previews are getting less and less mysterious.


300 posted on 07/15/2006 9:53:50 PM PDT by Maximus_Ridiculousness (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 299 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 261-280281-300301-320 ... 401-412 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson