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The Official Weekend Singles Thread--July 14-16
(various sources) | 14 July 2006 | pcottraux; rzeznikj at stout

Posted on 07/14/2006 3:27:18 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout

The ***OFFICIAL*** Weekend Singles Thread—July 14-16

This Week’s Exciting Topic: The ULTIMATE Chuck Norris Thread


Chuck Norris or die.

When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.

Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.

Chuck Norris uses red hot lava to moisturize his skin.

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.

Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.

Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.

Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.

Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

Chuck Norris can lick his own elbows. At the same time.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography....it was just a list of everyone he has killed.

Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.

Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.

As seen in Sidekicks, Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only.

Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.

Chuck Norris can make water run uphill.

Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.

If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIPped into pieces.

Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. No one, and I mean NO ONE can beat Chuck Norris at tennis. Except maybe Victoria Delsoul. But it would be a close match.

Chuck Norris had his tonsils removed with a chainsaw.

The Great Wall of China was built to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: chucknorris; flirt; friendship; singles; weekend
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To: 5Madman2

Nah, Chuck Norris singlehandedly invented and gave mankind the Stuned Beeber.


181 posted on 07/14/2006 11:11:35 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
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To: rzeznikj at stout

Why does that make me think of "my sister was once bit by a moose"


182 posted on 07/14/2006 11:13:32 PM PDT by TheresaKett
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To: darkangel82

The one who showed up was during the Father's Day Weekend thread. The comment (presumably a girl) she made was absolutely vile and contemptible. Fortunately, she was gone shortly after making it.


183 posted on 07/14/2006 11:16:05 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: TheresaKett

In Windows XP you can use Alex Feinman's ISO recorder power toy...

It's normally designed for recording ISO files (CD images), but has a nifty function that can erase RW discs. That should work--if not, then I'm really out of ideas.

You could use make a copy of your CD as an image (ISO) file, erase the disc, make a new CD from the contents of the directories, and when the new CD is set and usable, delete the old image file.

http://isorecorder.alexfeinman.com/v2.htm


184 posted on 07/14/2006 11:16:21 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
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To: TheresaKett

I have no idea, considering that Chuck Norris found and killed the moose with his bare hands and a roundhouse kick...


185 posted on 07/14/2006 11:17:15 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
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To: TheresaKett

I didn't post it earlier.

I got chewed out by the boss today, and he even threatened to fire me. I probably deserved it--what happened was I was in too much of a hurry last night and didn't sufficiently clean up a mess in the backroom. Still...


186 posted on 07/14/2006 11:18:13 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: pcottraux

That one was deleted before I saw it, but I heard it was bad.


187 posted on 07/14/2006 11:18:47 PM PDT by darkangel82 (Higher visibility leads to greater zottability.)
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To: rzeznikj at stout

Chuck Norris once met a bear in the forest. It was so scared it turned white and ran all the way to the North Pole. Hence, polar bears.


188 posted on 07/14/2006 11:19:37 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: rzeznikj at stout
In Windows XP you can use Alex Feinman's ISO recorder power toy... It's normally designed for recording ISO files (CD images), but has a nifty function that can erase RW discs. That should work--if not, then I'm really out of ideas. You could use make a copy of your CD as an image (ISO) file, erase the disc, make a new CD from the contents of the directories, and when the new CD is set and usable, delete the old image file. http://isorecorder.alexfeinman.com/v2.htm

humm, thanks, but for a non geek like me, that sounds really confusing, but I am saving the link for further review

189 posted on 07/14/2006 11:19:47 PM PDT by TheresaKett
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To: darkangel82

It was gone before I saw it, too, but I managed to get a copy of an e-mail which showed the comment in all its uncensored glory.


190 posted on 07/14/2006 11:20:38 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: pcottraux

Oh what fun. ((Hugs))


191 posted on 07/14/2006 11:21:03 PM PDT by TheresaKett
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To: darkangel82; pcottraux

I didn't catch it--was it that Eds funky diner guy?


192 posted on 07/14/2006 11:21:16 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
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To: TheresaKett

Simply put, you can install it, and it uses Windows's CD tools.

You can simply use it to nuke an old RW and clean it off...


193 posted on 07/14/2006 11:22:16 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
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To: TheresaKett

That sort of thing almost never happens with me, but other people in my department do it sometimes, too, so we all get the full blame.


194 posted on 07/14/2006 11:22:31 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: pcottraux

LOL


195 posted on 07/14/2006 11:22:52 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
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To: rzeznikj at stout
Simply put, you can install it, and it uses Windows's CD tools. You can simply use it to nuke an old RW and clean it off... Well when you put it that way, that sounds much more user friendly. :-)
196 posted on 07/14/2006 11:24:03 PM PDT by TheresaKett
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To: rzeznikj at stout

No, that was another one, who was not only zotted, but charred jet black as well, sorta like a marshmallow when you leave it in the campfire too long.


197 posted on 07/14/2006 11:24:03 PM PDT by darkangel82 (Higher visibility leads to greater zottability.)
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To: rzeznikj at stout

No, but that one just as bad.

This one was possibly a woman, who made one of the worst male-bashing comments I've ever seen. It was in response to the thread having a Father's Day theme to it.


198 posted on 07/14/2006 11:24:17 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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To: TheresaKett

OK...8^)


199 posted on 07/14/2006 11:26:02 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
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To: darkangel82

That guy really p*ssed us all off. I had to take my contact info off my homepage because he sent me an e-mail.


200 posted on 07/14/2006 11:26:19 PM PDT by pcottraux (It's pronounced "P. Coe-troe.")
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