Posted on 07/14/2006 3:27:18 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout
The ***OFFICIAL*** Weekend Singles Thread—July 14-16
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
Chuck Norris uses red hot lava to moisturize his skin.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.
Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.
Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.
Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.
Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.
Chuck Norris can lick his own elbows. At the same time.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography....it was just a list of everyone he has killed.
Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.
Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.
As seen in Sidekicks, Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only.
Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.
Chuck Norris can make water run uphill.
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.
Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.
If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIPped into pieces.
Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. No one, and I mean NO ONE can beat Chuck Norris at tennis. Except maybe Victoria Delsoul. But it would be a close match.
Chuck Norris had his tonsils removed with a chainsaw.
The Great Wall of China was built to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
yes!! okay, the pressure is on.. now I need to buy lottery ticket(s?).. well, just one. If God wants me to win, I don't need 10 do I?
night all..
(btw.. I don't know how eleanor does it with so little sleep!)
If I do this, you don't need time/money.. just a yes for a wonderfully fun week-end+....
dreaming is such fun..
night darky!
I'm with ya there...
Catch ya tomorrow...
Max told me yesterday it would be pretty late before she'd get to join us. Still expecting her to arrive shortly, though.
Good night. :)
Sounds good.
OTOH, I only need 77 more posts to reach 5,000 posts...
I've been here 4 months more than you and I'm not even at 3000 yet.
I've posted a total of 160 threads and 10,003 replies.
Wow...what a loser.
Even though I've tempered off quite a bit, I've still kept plugging away...
Joined April 13, 2005.
Hit 1,000 Posts 29 March 2006 10:15pm CST
On track to hit 5,000 Posts 15 July 2006.
This thread here is my 2nd posted thread...
What happened in post 130?
I am back, but it looks like just about everyone is gone for the night...
Incomplete post. I asked for it to be struck.
There's a few of us diehards still left here...
Thanks for the ping. Sorry I'm late - just got home from having pizza with my visiting parents.
OM, if you're downtown and you don't mind a little bit of a walk for a Friday night (no smoking in Seattle anymore), check out Two Bells Tavern on 4th - just follow the monorail tracks. Plenty of stuff down that way. Depends on where you're staying.
If you like twentysomething angst, head to Belltown (west of 4th, north of Stewart). If you're more of a neighborhood guy, any place in Ballard goes until two. Lots of live music, most of which is too loud (or maybe I'm too old...)
Have fun.
I'm still here, just mostly in the Canteen.
Well, I am getting ready to call it a night. We had late lunch to celebrate dad's birthday earlier today and going to the casino for my DIL's 21st birthday tomorrow.
Oh boy...
21st birthdays are usually pretty rowdy...
...though I can tell ya right now mine will be toned down a bit 8^)
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