SUPERMAN RETURNS - TO A PATERNITY SUIT

VANITY | JULY 4, 2006 | AMOS THE PROPHET

[Louis Foxwell]

SUPERMAN RETURNS portrays the man of steel as every liberal’s dream of the anti-moral hero. Early in the movie his principles are referred to as “truth and justice.” Period. Leaving out the critical line “and the American Way” paints a broad picture of what is coming. I hollered, “And the American Way” for the benefit of my fellow movie patrons just so everyone would notice the omission.

After numerous teases we are finally brought up close and personal with the fact that Superman is a sexual predator, an absentee father, and an abuser of women, specifically of Lois Lane. He knocked up Lois and split to do his own thing for 5 years without so much as a thank you, m’am.

Are we really expected to believe that the Savior of the World has a one night stand and did not know she was pregnant? He with the x-ray eyes who scans her body after she nearly drowns and diagnoses her fit as a fiddle?

In the final scene, sex machine Superman acknowledges the fruit of his loins and tells the little boy he is a chip off the old block.

I was nauseated and disgusted with this portrayal. It is a gross obscenity.

The power of the Superman icon is the representation of clear and strong morality. This movie makes Superman the moral equivalent of his archnemesis, Lex Luther. It is utterly vile.

I give it two thumbs down and a New York raspberry.

[Richard Kimball]

Lois was always pretty kinky, anyway.

[BipolarBob]

The sequel Superman the drug addict is probably forthcoming.

[H. Paul Pressler IV]

Superman is just doing a Job Americans will not do.

[Paleo Conservative]

I hope it doesn't make back its $260 million cost.

[bitt]

Rats - I was looking forward to it...

OTOH, tonight I saw the new "King Kong" ...if you have a spare three hours, it is EXCELLENT, just don't let the little ones watch it....too scary.

[Jack Hammer]

While we're on the subject of Superman iconography... isn't that supposed to be Lex Luthor - with an "o"?

[Jaysun]

I'll not see this crap, thanks for your review. I can't believe they didn't make the usual plug for homosexers while they were at it.

[bluesagewoman]

I was so glad I had to work all day. The family and some friends all wanted to go see it and they wanted to wait until I was off. I told them, no go on, I don't care for movie theater productions. With the exception of "The Passion" a couple years back the last movie I saw (in it's entirity) in a movie theater was "Back to the Future." After taking my 2 young boys to see "Temple of Doom" which was rated G at first, I got up and dragged them out with my hands over their eyes after the first 10 minutes. We never went back to another movie as a family.

Now that the boys are older, they can go see hollywood garbage if they want, but I won't give my money to that business, period. I don't rent their videos, or tapes, or buy their sound tracks. If a movie really peaks my interest I'll watch it on TV if it ever gets there. If I don't like it I can flip it off and go wash a toilet instead.

[Louis Foxwell]

I can't believe they didn't make the usual plug for homosexers while they were at it.

))))))))))))))

I am not certain they didn't. The TV show, SEX in NY is, according to Amm Coulter, a portrayal of the homosexual lifestyle: gratuitous sex with unlimited partners.
Superman lost his boyscout status in this movie. No longer is the love between Lois and Superman unrequited. It is not only lustily satisfied complete with bastard child but Lois is now living in sin with the richest guy she could snooker into believing he was the daddy. AND... the poor twit still loves Superman the cad.
I would NEVER take a child to see this travesty. Little boys everywhere leave the theatre crying over the loss of their hero to Hollywood bath house morals.
Thanks for the heads up on Luthor, Jack Hammer. This is the first time consummate evil has been portrayed in Marvel comics as a classy guy paying back the establishment for injustices real and imagined. What consummate drivel.

[Louis Foxwell]

"Sex in The City" not Sex in NY, a distinction with no difference.

[Louis Foxwell]

One more: Ann, not Amm. Forgive me, Greater One. I must remember to type with my glasses.

[fzx12345]

Superman is a Dick.

[.30Carbine]

Thank you for this review. I was wondering lately where Spider-Man 3 is? I guess that's next summer. I think the Spider-Man movies have done a better job of portraying the real hero from the original Marvel Comics than what you describe here of Superman and what I've seen of Batman. Hollywood gets it - they can't not see the numbers - most there just don't want it to be so that Americans really like good clean fun.

[Louis Foxwell]

I wanted to get more hits for this piece but it was pushed from Culture to Chat and has had nearly no readership.

[freedumb2003]

IIRC, Asimov(?) wrote a short article -- "Man of Steel Woman of Flesh" or something similar.

It analyzed what would be required for Superman to produce progeny with Lois. The first problem is that his super sperm would blow the top of her head off. So, he would have to do the hand jive and then use his super speed to catch it.

I can't remember the rest -- I'll see if I can find it.

[new cruelty]

Perhaps you are thinking of Larry Niven's Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex

[CJ Wolf]

So much for the American way.

[freedumb2003]

That's it! Thanks!!!

This should be required reading for anyone addressing Supe's procreation.

[AmishDude]

There is no way Temple of Doom was rated G. It was rated PG and pretty much invented the PG-13 rating.