Renaissance ManChuck Norris: A Retrospective

The Boston Slob ^ | 06/22/06 | Paul Crocetti, Boston.com Correspondent

[misterrob]

The man, the myth, the legend. The actor, the martial arts star, the hero – Chuck Norris. He’s in town at the Mohegan Sun this weekend, to present the World Combat League's "Turf Wars Are On!" On top of that, the first season of Norris’ hit show, “Walker, Texas Ranger,” just came out on DVD. What better time than now to honor the 66-year-old superstar with an all-encompassing retrospective? From his martial arts championships to his action/crime show “Walker, Texas Ranger” lever plus his appearance on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien,” there’s a lot to cover here.

[misterrob]

For all you Chuck Norris fans out there.....

[Gunflint]

66 years old?


Guy looks like he's in his mid to late 40's.

[-=SoylentSquirrel=-]

Plus, his tears cure cancer. It's just that no one has ever seen him cry....

[burzum]

From what I've heard there is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Additionally, Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[Extremely Extreme Extremist]

When Chuck Norris posts on FR, the server crashes.
When Chuck Norris PINGs you, it can be heard for miles.
Everytime Chuck Norris types, the letters leap out and roundhouse you.
If there's a FReepathon and Chuck Norris donates, all other FReepers and lurkers donate too, or else.
Chuck Norris zots even the Admin Moderator.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to excerpt articles.
Comment removed by Chuck Norris - means your physical being is removed too.

[weegie]

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

[Frank_Discussion]

Aww, Chuck's a wimp.

OWWWWWWWWW! What WAS that?

[stylin19a]

ok here we go:
Chuck Norris vs. Ditka ?
Chuck Norris vs. Billy Jack ?
Chuck Norris vs. Steven Seagal ?
Chuck norris vs. King Kong ?
Chuck Norris vs. Godzilla ?
Chuck Norris vs. Ric Flair ?
Chuck Norris vs. Van Damme ?

[Extremely Extreme Extremist]

I'm curious as to the origins of these "Chuck Norris Facts." Who started it?

[burzum]

Anyways, this story is bunk. I know the real story of the Young Chuck Norris.

[Lucky9teen]

[Space Wrangler]

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

[FearlessFreep]

When Chuck Norris dives into a pool he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

[Extremely Extreme Extremist]

Chuck Norris doesn't dream, he recreates his days' work.

[Space Wrangler]

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

[FearlessFreep]

Chuck Norris doesn't have AIDS. He just gives it to people.

[youthgonewild]

Watch Sidekicks

[KC_Conspirator]

I heard that Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

[larryjohnson]

Sending to my son who,35 years ago took classes from Norris and made his son cry in a match.

[dfwgator]

It's Chuck's world, we just get to live in it.