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My thoughts:

Question Number One why women chose brutes

One needs to look at the basic underlying (subconscious) draw for females & males

the draw for males is sexual & for a woman to give "good/attractive" offspring. For women it is to look for protector & provider (the gatherer/hunter in primitive cultures). This of course is modified by the wonderful liberal education our young people get in public schools. The mind & personality of each will modify the further qualifications.

Women pick brutes & bullies because they feel they will be protected by them. The don't imagine it will turn on them. These men are normally aggressive & women's mentality is that will carry through in work & provide them with a good income. Assertive people are often considered as successful for their "drive"

Women don't look for abusers -- in general. BUT some gals who were physically/sexually abused by their fathers or other other "close" men will find themselves drawn to this. The reasons I have read are varied & in my opinion inconclusive. the percentage of women who were abused who marry abusive men is very high (abuse can be emotional, mental, physical & or sexual & /or any combination)

Question #2

People are often in the "search" that I spoke about in defining midlife. When you do that you often question, challenge & go against your earlier upbringing(that is why the guy takes off with his 30 year younger secy & buys a red convertible)

Others like to pick & chose their religious boundaries.They do NOT like or go for absolutes.. They can generally be strong in their faith walk but socially be liberal. (to me that doesn't gel)

I have worked with a LOT of men who profess to be Christians but still think sex w/o marriage is acceptable; porn is okay (if it doesn't hurt anyone; and abortion might be okay.

These are situational ethics people

Commitment comes in degrees, unfortunately. It would be nice to think it is black & white for everyone. It should be . committed to God or committed to your life partner. but then again folks like to come in & pick & chose what or when they will honor the boundaries etc.

Others? add your ideas.

Hoot Hoot... I was really looking for your answer to #136...

I'll chime in about 237, too... from the guy viewpoint:

I am convinced that the major line of reasoning about the morality issue for Christians is that they have convinced themselves that Satan is a construct, Hell is not that bad, and that even so, God is so "Good" that He will never condemn them to the fiery furnace.

Wrong'oh, moose breath. God has not changed from being the God of the Old Testament, and is still Just. That being the case, He must carry out the full measure of punishment for sin - the salvation provided by Jesus' death was not a "blank check" to continue to sin, and when we do so with impunity and total consciousness of that sin after supposedly accepting His gift, it belies that we have been really honest about asking forgiveness. The Good and Merciful and Perfectly Just God of Love sees the true intent in the depths of our teeny mind, and will not allow the unjustified to draw near to Him after this life.

People don't believe in the reality of this, and in general, consider their own sins to be "small" ones anyway - but they are not the proper Judge of that.

I strongly believe that many people are going to be enormously surprised when they find how much they have hurt God, but He surely has not hid that message from them.

Regardless, I am convinced that the major line of reasoning about the morality issue for Christians is that they have convinced themselves that Satan is a construct, Hell is not that bad, and that they will not end up there.

On another tack: but the same question -

The young have stopped honoring the wisdom of our elders. If one were to poll people about "sex without marriage" and their reasoning, I suspect that there would be a very high correlation of 'NO' with age. The older I've gotten, the more and more I appreciate the wisdom of "Thou shalt not commit adultery" for completely secular and psychological reasons. I certainly didn't understand it when I was younger, but at least I (mostly) accepted the restriction.

Nowadays, I would (hopefully) be very likely to exit situations of danger in that respect, though I certainly can find myself with improper thinking at times. Certainly, too, I'll never minimize how wrong it is when I am speaking with others and giving them advice, as I've been able to on occasion.

The entanglements sex without marriage leads to are just so devastating, but they are hard to appreciate when you are horny, and combined with breaking down our appreciation of the moral aspect of the restriction makes it tough for people to appreciate their elder's advice on this, including God's.

I agree that definitely on the abuse issue that it does follow a pattern a women who has an alcoholic parent will often marry an alcoholic.

I think it works in physical, mental and emotional abuse as well, often one feels comfortable with what ones knows.

I was coming from the premise of why does a "nice" girl from a "nice" family go for a bully abusive man which was where I was basing my answer on.

Peer pressure and what we are exposed to from the media and in particular teen magazines I feel have a very bad influence on the type of people that youngsters get linked with and also their attitude to relationships and of course sex.

Often the type of people we mix with as youngsters shape our life for the future so as the more permissive youngsters become older they become more permissive middleaged and older generation. Maybe one of the reasons we are now seeing so much infidelity and destruction of family life.

TV then portrays this as the norm in many soap operas hence there is no shame or sense that you have done wrong as this is just normal behavioiur. Tremendous pressure is heaped upon Christians as well when this is being fed to them continuously.

I can understand why for many years a lot of the more stricter Christian dominations either did not have TVs or were very restrictive in what they watched and allowed their children to watch. This of course is no longer happening with more "liberal" views in the main stream churches filtering down to the stricter churches and youngsters pressurizing parents that if they do not confirm and be allowed to watch and do what other at school/college do they will be ostracized and often bullied.

Standards all round have dropped so along with those who come from abusive backgrounds I think adds up to why women and men are making these choices.

Thoughts anyone.