Posted on 05/29/2006 10:34:01 AM PDT by sweetliberty
I know there are a lot of homeschoolers on FR with varied experiences and I really need your input. I have always been a believer in homeschooling, but I also know that there are a lot of variables to be considered. For instance, when my daughter was coming up on school age, after much thought and prayer, I decided that, even though I was a stay at home mom and could easily have managed the necessary time to homeschool, the personality dynamics and differences in learning style between me and my daughter were such that she would likely fare better in a quality private school that supported our values. That was a good decision in that situation.
Now, I have a new dilemma. I am seriously considering adopting a child, perhaps two. I am in the midst of the process, but have not yet made any commitment. Over the past 20 years, my attitude toward public schooling has changed dramatically. It used to be one of distrust and disagreement with them because their academic standards were inferior and they tended to undermine and work counter to the values most parents tried to instill in their children. Now my attitude is one of outright contempt for an institution that not only no longer educates, except in all the wrong areas, and whose goal seems to be the systematic destruction of any sense of values, faith, patriotism and independence. It makes the parents the enemy, instead of a partner. It makes an outcast of the child with a traditional family and with traditional values and faith instead of holding him/her up as an example to emulate. It exposes children to knowledge of things that they are not yet mature enough to process. It actively strips them of their innocence while punishing them for being children and doing normal kid things. It seeks to make every child "special" by imposing a standard of mediocrity that prevents any child from being truly special and rewards laziness and "inability" while minimizing, or even punishing, competence and excellence and teaches them to make excuses for failure instead of providing them with tools to succeed. Instead of challenging children to think independently, it forces them into a mold of nanny state group think, seeking to turn out masses of ignorant, low performing, drug dependent, easily manipulated pawns of government will. They not only usurp the authority of parents; they encourage children to "expose" any manner in which their parents are out of "compliance" with the socialist agenda, in effect turning children into government "spies."
Which brings me to my current dilemma. In my opinion, most public schooling is a form of child abuse, so I really don't see it as an educational option. At this point in time, I don't have the luxury of being a stay at home mom, and to the best of my knowledge, there is no easily accessible private school in or near the town I am moving to, so obviously a very big consideration in the decision about taking on the responsibility of a child is going to be making a determination about whether or not I can provide an adequate education and deciding if homeschooling is a viable option. I know of parents who have worked full-time and home schooled and whose school day began after work, but that still leaves a lot of hours in the day to find something suitable for the child/ren to do.
Let me also add that I would be a single parent, which I realize is not an ideal situation; however, let me also add that I deal with the type of children daily that are in need of permanent homes and their chances of being placed in suitable 2-parent homes are often exceedingly slim. While I wouldn't entertain taking on a child with very serious medical or behavioral problems simply because I know that I wouldn't have the kind of time and energy to devote to them that they would require, many of these children just need a lot of love and consistency combined with structure, discipline, education, security, hope and some place to belong. Those are things I can provide. All these children come with baggage and some special needs. It is simply a by-product of the situations they're in. Of course, this in itself is going to effect the way these children learn, and educating a child who is already school age when adopted is clearly not going to be the same as working with a child you've raised and taught from birth.
So, I have several questions. Probably the most obvious is: Are any of you who homeschool single, working parents and, if so, how do you deal it? More specifically, are any of you single, adoptive parents? I would really like to know your experiences. What about accessing the best in teaching materials? I know there are programs out there for the computer, as well as more traditional teaching materials, but I wouldn't know where to start. I know there are also homeschool groups/co-ops of a sort, but I don't know how many other homeschoolers there would be in my area.
Some of you may be wondering why I would consider adopting, given my situation. Well, I must admit that I have asked myself that same question. It's like I have this voice whispering in one ear, "why not? You always wanted more children." And in the other ear is another voice saying, "have you lost your mind?" I guess the real reason though, is somewhere between those extremes. I see these kids who have had no guidance, no direction, no affection, whose past is too painful to remember and who never know what tomorrow is going to bring. I have room in my home and in my heart. I guess it's really that simple.
yes--and there's always prom... can't let them miss out on that... (sarcasm, in case anyone is wondering)...
we adopted from the County, and we began homeschooling our first adopted son before it was all finalized... at first we used the reasons of "wanting to connect with him before we sent him out and wanting to give him a chance to come up to speed." the second year, it still wasn't quite finalized, but our social worker said, "i assume you're going to stick to homeschooling since it's working out so well for your family." God is so good to us...
there was a time when this was very true... however, no matter what anybody wants to think about their own neighborhood schools, today there is no such thing as local control over government/public schools.
I have a very close friend who teaches in public schools. And I babysat for a substitute teacher's children for a few years. There is a difference between assessing individual teachers and assessing the entire educational package. When you hear people criticize, please remember it is not personal about your specific family members. It is a big picture perspective, and it should matter to any repectable school official that so many people find public schools unacceptable. The fact that they tend to just insult us instead of do anything about it proves that they really only care about their own agenda.
I should add that both the teachers I mentioned didn't respect the public school system either. For that matter, I was friends with two other public school teachers who thought the same thing. In every case the teachers put their own children elsewhere.
These children all come out of foster care. In this area, we are blessed with some wonderful foster parents with big hearts and a lot of patience and commitment, and that is a plus. But these kids have had the deck stacked against them from the get go, and the public schools are more often part of the problem than of the solution.
While it is true that there are some good teachers and some caring people in the schools, I see first hand what goes on and how the system gets its tentacles into these kids, and I'm not talking just about the ones in state custody. There are a lot of busybodies who think they know better than parents, regardless of how good or bad the parents are, and who know how to make life miserable for parents who don't "get with the program."
Thank you for the vote of confidence. You seem to be in the minority. Ultimately, my decision will come after a lot of thought and prayer, and if I am selected as a good match for a particular child, I believe that I will know by then which decision will be the right one.
I work very closely with the schools in my town which, incidentally, are supposed to be some of the best in the state. I know many of the people who work in the school system and many of the children and their families. I am going to be moving next week, not that far away, but to an area with a somewhat different demographic. I can't imagine that the differences would be positve ones.
I suppose my statements do sound like sweeping generalizations, but I did state that that is simply my personal attitude. I am sure there are flaws in my logic, and doubtless there are exceptions. I do believe that there is an essential, underlying truth in it though and my daily experiences confirm rather than disprove my opinion. It has nothing to do with being afraid of children learning about Darwin. They should learn critical and independent thinking, and the only way they can do that is by being exposed to differing points of view and learning to put things in perspective. In my experience, the public schools do very little to foster that.
If I do adopt, I would really prefer to find a decent private school, and it may be that one or more exists in the area I am moving to and I just haven't run across it yet or they don't have a website. Once I get moved, it will be easier to research these things.
HOMESCHOOL PING!
No, but I have met single, working parents who homeschool. Their children are either old enough - and responsible enough - to stay home while Mom works, or they stay with relatives.
More specifically, are any of you single, adoptive parents?
I believe there are some single and some adoptive parents on the list I just pinged.
What about accessing the best in teaching materials? I know there are programs out there for the computer, as well as more traditional teaching materials, but I wouldn't know where to start.
Some of us shared some advice on the following thread earlier this "homeschool year": Click here
Hopefully we'll compile a list this summer so that we can share advice again before September.
I know there are also homeschool groups/co-ops of a sort, but I don't know how many other homeschoolers there would be in my area.
You might begin by checking the HSLDA site for regulations in your state:
There are also support groups listed on that site, too.
Good luck!
I didn't see the above post before I responded. As the mother of three quote-unquote "racially mixed" children, I find such views offensive. But, indeed, it'd be a good idea not to bring such children into a situation where they will feel unloved by a close family member. I also want to add my vote to the view that single parenthood isn't the best situation, no matter how good one's intentions may be. While I met a single, adoptive homeschool mother (she adopted her nephew and then her husband left her), it's not an easy task.
There's not enough info on your situation for me to guess at the likelihood of your succeeding.
I know that it wouldn't be easy. I raised our daughter on my own for much of her life. Tough job for sure. And it is likely that homeschooling wouldn't be realistic at this point. I will certainly continue to search for private school options as well. I may even decide that the whole thing is a colosally bad idea before it's over. At this point, I'm taking it one day at a time.
My best school memories are of vigorous guided class discussion and debate. Critical thinking and differing points of view seem to me to be tougher to replicate at home than in school.
Think about it: Two students and a teacher, taking turns reading, say, the Iliad, or Shakespeare; no bar to asking questions at any point; each participant sharing nuances of meaning and connections the other two may have missed; no archaic word left behind, unlearned; savoring particularly poignant passages; observing the nature of the characters, and comparing to persons known. Freewheeling days-long discussions. The only guide, the perceptive abilities of each reader. That's something PS's can't replicate. [and then, the beatings for wrong conclusions]
I slept through my high school daze...when I went to class at all. Booooorrrriiiing. Nunnathat in my homeschool!
I think it has to be facilitated differently. I guess I just don't see too much evidence that debate in differing points of view is encouraged in public school unless, of course, the terms of the "debate" are set within the framework of the prevailing agenda. There are just certain discussion taboos. Do you think a child would be encouraged to publicly express that homosexuality is deviant and perverse? Or that abortion is murder, other than in a very general way? Suppose he/she wanted to use a film clip from "Silent Scream" to support that view, or even the still photo of the 5 month fetus grasping the surgeon's finger, or to use the testimonies of women who were haunted by the memory of snuffing out the life inside of them? And suppose a child wants to open up a discussion in support of racial purity? Okay, so maybe he could get away with that last one as long as he wasn't white. But you get my point.
When I was in school, any one of those topics was fair game, and then some. I just use these as examples, but there are many more. The point is, free speech is not encouraged in public schools unless it is "acceptable" speech in support of "acceptable" points of view. It is pretty difficult to have objective discussions when the conclusion is predetermined.
bump for later reading
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