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A question for those 40+ who've been married at least ten years
Me (vanity) ^ | May 21, 2006 | Darkwolf377

Posted on 05/21/2006 3:49:03 AM PDT by Darkwolf377

Are you glad you got married when you did, or do you wished you waited?


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: marriage; midlifecrisis; yougottaloveem
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To: Darkwolf377

I was 25 when I married and its pretty close to 25 years of being wed. If one is contemplating marriage, of course you'll be scared-I was. And that's because you have no idea what to expect because you've never embarked upon such an adventure/journey before. But, if the one you choose, is not prone to doing mean and wicked things, all will go well, when we do our best. It is NEVER a good plan to get hooked up with someone who leans toward the mean and wicked...


41 posted on 05/21/2006 9:25:30 AM PDT by Mrs. Darla Ruth Schwerin
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To: Darkwolf377

We married at 30 and 32. Only regret we didn't meet sooner so we could have shared that twenties decade (and I would have liked to have had babies earlier, it IS harder in your 30's).

I don't think it's age per se, but maturity. Some people are self-centered till they die and they will always be crummy spouses because the only Mr/Mrs Right for them is in their mirror.

The rest of the population gets a clue sooner or later and whenever that occurs, they are gonna do fine after that.


42 posted on 05/21/2006 10:24:15 AM PDT by Valpal1 (Crush jihadists, drive collaborators before you, hear the lamentations of their media. Allahu FUBAR!)
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To: Darkwolf377
Thanks to those who've participated. I am enjoying reading your responses.

Funny how even on an anonymous board, NO ONE is expressing regret! ;)

43 posted on 05/21/2006 10:40:04 AM PDT by Darkwolf377 (Kowtowing to the Bush haters ends now)
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To: Darkwolf377

The guys who would express regret can't afford internet connection...


44 posted on 05/21/2006 12:49:04 PM PDT by dakine
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To: Darkwolf377

My wife and I married at age 19 in `74. Would do it again, but wished I`d had an opportunity to go through pre-marital counseling first. Those early years were like walking in the dark, occasionally stubbing a toe!


45 posted on 05/21/2006 1:06:54 PM PDT by AngrySpud (Behold, I am The Anti-Crust ... Anti-Hillary)
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To: demkicker
Be patient. There is a 10 year age difference in my children, and six years at least, difference in their wedding dates. Suddenly within 5 years we had 8 grandchildren, 4 in a 5 month period. We now have 10 of the most wonderful, precious grandchildren
God could have granted us, and one of our sons, and his wife have yet to begin their family. T'is far more wonderful than I could have ever imagined it to be. I love loving them, but more than that they give more love than I could ever deserve. It is worth waiting for.
46 posted on 05/21/2006 2:57:15 PM PDT by grame (wife, mom, grammy)
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To: Darkwolf377

Even though I've been married for fifteen years--in a row, to the same man!--I am only 36 years old. Could you ping me in four years?


47 posted on 05/22/2006 6:27:55 AM PDT by grellis (will do dishes for tagline)
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To: grellis
Even though I've been married for fifteen years--in a row, to the same man!--I am only 36 years old. Could you ping me in four years?

I am also 36, and have been married for 15 years! The parameters the OP put forth exclude us, on purpose, I think.

I highly doubt that in 4, 5, or 6 years I will suddenly realize (with my newfound, mature perspective) that my husband is a jerk and that I made a huge mistake by marrying him at 21. I think that is something you figure out within the first 10 years, at least! LOL!

48 posted on 05/24/2006 7:25:59 PM PDT by Dianna
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To: Darkwolf377

waited too long. my own hubris trapped me in the vanities of materialism, and for that ... who knows. Marriage makes happiness and happy lives.


49 posted on 05/24/2006 7:29:18 PM PDT by bvw
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To: Darkwolf377

I married my husband a month before I turned 20 and he was 7 yrs. my senior. We only knew each other for 3 mo. before we eloped. It's lasted for 35 yrs. and 3 children thru good times and bad, but mostly good. I think sharing a hobby with your husband helps keep you together. We both love old cars, fast cars, really any kind of automobile and work on them together, restoring, repairing, and showing them. Gives you something to talk about besides bills and kids. Any regrets? None here, I can't imagine life without him, my first and only love!


50 posted on 05/24/2006 8:03:55 PM PDT by Bassfire (freepin with a smile)
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To: Bassfire
That's a great story.

You're also the fiftieth poster to that thread. I'm glad I started it. The responses have been very enjoyable.

51 posted on 05/24/2006 8:07:44 PM PDT by Darkwolf377 (An immigration-thread-free FReeper as of...now!)
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To: Darkwolf377

I am 60yrs old...my hubby is 63yrs old...we had two children...we have been married for 37yrs this coming autumn...

I regret nothing at all...I was 24 when we married and he was 27...we dated for three years and then got married...like anyone else, we have had good times, sad times, happy times, gloomy times, fearless times, fearful times...and through it all, its been a glorious trip...

We hope for many more years together...whatever God grants us, we will be thankful for...we look forward to more 'times' together, and whatever those 'times' may be, they are part of our journey together...

So, no regrets, just so thankful that I married the man that I did...


52 posted on 05/24/2006 8:14:56 PM PDT by andysandmikesmom
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To: Darkwolf377

Well...I'm 38 and my husband is 43, and we've been married almost 18 yrs.
We were both similarly hot headed and self centered when we got married, and we had very little money. It was a struggle early on.
We grew up together in a way. As we got older and had children and enjoyed some security we learned about what is important in life and what is not important.
If I went back and could choose again I wouldn't have done it differently.


53 posted on 05/24/2006 8:19:26 PM PDT by Scotswife
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To: Tax-chick

"That's because you're male. If you were having babies, you'd want to get at it younger. My oldest was born when I was 24, and my youngest when I was 39 ... believe me, pregnancy was *much* easier in my 20's. Even my early "30's ..."

Amen sister.
First child at 21. That pregnancy was a breeze - I bounced right back.
I'm pregnant now at 38 - quite a different story.


54 posted on 05/24/2006 8:25:29 PM PDT by Scotswife
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To: Scotswife

Good luck and a healthy baby to you! At least we know pregnancy is temporary!


55 posted on 05/25/2006 4:46:02 AM PDT by Tax-chick (Knights of Columbus martyrs of Mexico, pray for us! Viva Cristo Rey!)
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To: Tax-chick

"Good luck and a healthy baby to you! At least we know pregnancy is temporary!"

Thank you!. Pregnancy just SEEMS so much longer at 38!



56 posted on 05/25/2006 6:38:31 AM PDT by Scotswife
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To: Dianna
I highly doubt that in 4, 5, or 6 years I will suddenly realize (with my newfound, mature perspective) that my husband is a jerk...

I guess we should hope that in 4, 5, or 6 years our husbands don't turn into jerks!

There are only a few things that bugged me about marrying at 21. Many of our friends--people who had known us for years--were very doubtful that our marriage stood a chance. One guy gave us three weeks. It didn't really bother me too much, it was just an eye opener. I got carded at our reception--not just once, but several times, by the same bartender. You think he'd remember having seen the ID of the only dame schmalzing around in a big white dress.

57 posted on 05/25/2006 8:46:54 AM PDT by grellis (will do dishes for tagline)
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To: Scotswife

And even longer at 39 :-).


58 posted on 05/25/2006 9:12:31 AM PDT by Tax-chick (Let all creation sing of salvation. Let us together give praise forever!)
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To: Darkwolf377
Are you glad you got married when you did, or do you wished you waited?

Yes, married at age 22 after dating my wife for one year (6 months of which while we were 250 miles apart). Two kids and 40 years later now....

59 posted on 05/25/2006 9:16:38 AM PDT by ExSES (the "bottom-line")
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To: ExSES

Wow. That's great!


60 posted on 05/25/2006 9:19:34 AM PDT by Darkwolf377 (What would Thomas Pynchon do?)
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