Posted on 05/12/2006 8:00:37 PM PDT by TexCon
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR A U.S. PRESIDENT, WHETHER HE BE A DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH AT A TIME LIKE THIS?
My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York .
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
I would like to point out that Canada has been a significant contributor to efforts in Afghanistan. They continued to help even after US pilots mistakenly attacked Canadian troops.
The reason why it is called a coalition of the willing, is we work with allies, who support our goals. We are not an empire, to coerce or bribe, because we have no friends.
Having said that, I agree that aid to third world dictatorships is not in our interest. That does not include Canada, a major trading partner, ally, and friend; bound by ties of history, trade, and in many cases blood.
So then what happens to Iraq if we remove all our forces within 30 days? (Or is that question too complex.)
Actually, I wouldn't want to hear that speech. The war in Iraq is the war in the Middle-East is the war against Islamofascism is the war against terror is the war to keep the war from coming home to America. Any President, RAT or Republican, that cuts and runs like it was the only intelligent option is a complete fool and, ultimately, a danger to America.
The Baathists and al-Qaeda take over and form a Caliphate. They train forces and start launching attacks on the "great satan" aka the United States.
Next question...
Who gives a sh!t?
Or is that answer too complex for you, sport?
Or is that answer too complex for you, sport?
I don't think I'd call it complex. I think the word I'm searching for is...let's see...stupid. Yep, that's it.
Hey there buddy. Let's settle down a bit. This is a hit on congress particularly when the senate cut spending and sent it to domestic issues the other week. It's a satire at that point.
Our men and women in uniform that's who Einstein!, they've lost a lot of their brothers in arms trying to clear that swamp over there.
I cannot believe FR has room for an ignoramus like you
Must be an old article if Spain is still on the list.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
Nowhere close. We spend billions on foreign aid each year. We've spent hundreds of billions on the war.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come.
No. Oil from ANWR would help, but it won't replace all the oil we get from Mexico, Canada, Venezuela, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and everywhere else - especially for decades.
TexCon...Great speech. In order to get the message to the right people, I guess we'll have to elect you president.
You know the salt lands in Canada propose a very nice option. At least ANWR would be a good stepping stone. We'd have some leverage in case another embargo or the like happens.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.